Niko’s Eye

Chapter 45.

"Maestro."

Belvia.

"Obsessing over a guy has been a way of life since puberty, since I first glanced at a new boy in school, who turned out to be your grandfather, and felt my heart skip a beat. You learn to ignore and screen out most of that. There are a lot of cute men in the world, thank God. However, when a guy hits every base, when he’s everything you could have ever dreamed of and more, when you see his flaws and you realise that you can roll with them, that they can actually make it better too... more full bodied... then, my baby, you are sunk in the best way possible. There is no return ticket. This is one way. You are in love with him. You will always be in love with him. Anyone else would be a pale shadow of this and you’d rather be alone than suffer the comparison. Part of love is obsessing over your man. So much of self determination in these matters is an illusion, so pray that your match was made in heaven."

She looked at Isis who was standing with a confused look on her face?

"Grandma, that’s not what I.."

"You don’t have to be shy baby. I know how you feel. We’ve never had this kind of conversation before so I understand that you’re a little put off by it all. I mean.."

"Grandma!" Isis shouted. "It’s not like that. I’m not talking about Alejandro. I’m talking about myself. I’m lost. I have no sense of direction and nobody to guide me."

Belvia smiled. "Tough love for children is wrong, for they are sad rather than bad. Their behaviour is communication and they need dependable and unconditional love. They need adults to be eye of their storms, quiet and still, refuge and safety. Tough love is for when love enables a person to stay somewhere harmful, in a toxic relationship or abusive home - it can be the slap to bring a realisation of where they are, yet it can only come from one who truly loves them, one who would walk with them through hell and back for only the reward of keeping them safe. It is not a thing to be wielded by the cold hearted, for the true intention will always shine through, as it has with your mother. No matter what, Aisha will always be your mother because she raised you. Whether we like it or not. But. This is a personal journey. Your mother and father did the best that they could to enlighten your path even though it was not always in the best way, but you’re old enough to make your own decisions now without questioning them."

Isis quickly suck onto her grandmother’s bed and thought do about what she had just said.

"That makes sense."

"Look within yourself baby."

Isis smiled and kissed her grandmother on the cheek.

"Goodnight Mami, I love you."

"I love you too."

Isis stopped midway through the door and grabbed the piece of paper that her grandmother had given her, sending chills down Belvia’s spine.

"I’ll read this later. Whatever it is." With that, she was out of the door and closed it behind her.

Belvia forced a thin smile.

So naive.

Sergio.

He didn’t expect the evening to turn out so good for him.

And to think that he was not in the mood for the meeting with Alejandro and Rãmirez.

To top it all off, we did a DNA test right there and then. There is nothing Aisha can come and lie to either one of us about. And I’m so glad that I had witnesses. Aisha is the devil incarnated. I don’t ever want anything to do with her.

But deep down, he knew that he might always have a soft spot for her, especially seeing that she was the mother of her child.

He sighed heavily, scratching his head and thinking about what life would’ve been like if Aisha had remained the woman that he had met that rainy day in Mexico.

I’ve found my daughter. I don’t think I should be bothering myself with that. Whatever is happening to her now, she chose for herself and don’t nobody want to be sentimental about it now. By the way...

Sergio picked up his phone and dialled a number.

"Good evening sir."

He listened to the man on the other end very attentively as he grabbed a pen and wrote down a set of instructions that were being given to him.

"Mhm. Yes sir. She’s fine. Very much safe. The enemy is in a predicament at the moment and has seemed to escape. Oh, you know already? She’s in Mexico? Huh. Okay. Thank you. I will get back to you. Sure. Goodnight."

Sergio hung up the phone.

I knew it.

Isis.

We are preprogrammed to take correction from those who love us deeply; though our conscious minds can be deceived, our entire being cannot. Thus, to give me tough love you have to love me with your very soul, otherwise I will run, strike out, bite. Yet, if I see the courage of a soldier within you, one who is resolved to stay through the roughness of the challenges we face, then your tough love will be the thing that keeps me on the rails, heading home, full speed.

Isis sat at the table of her study and took out her school books.

She read the writings on the cover of one of her textbooks.

International American University of Medicine.

I should start here.

Isis had stopped going to school ever since she ran away from home on the night she had caught Aisha and Sergio together.

Everything started there. I should’ve never gone back to go and hear what was happening in Aisha’s room. My whole life changed after that. But is it a bad thing? Without that day, I would’ve never known who exactly Aisha is. Without that day, I would’ve never been able to get the revelations that I have been getting about other people around me and about myself. Should I even trust anybody ?

But then her mind was in ’rebel mode’. She was tired of always looking over her shoulder to see if society wasn’t whispering about her or her family. She didn’t want to live how she wanted to live, for the sake of a community of people who had trouble figuring themselves out too.

You can make policies ten miles long and alphebetize your filing cabinet. You can pretend you don’t love Alejandro all you want. You can watch Netflix and not care about your life, every day. But my stomach is empty and my mind is full of pain. It can’t take no more in, Miss. It can’t take no more in. So unless you gonna fix that, unless you gonna care, shut up. Please, for the love of God, shut up. My mom is a sicko and the rent overdue. My father is 6 feet underground. The world is f****d up real bad and the Christian gang got their eyes on me. So like I said, lady up and stop talking words that bounce off my skull, my mind is already full. So you learn. You learn how to take this s**t out. You learn how to take my desire to put your head through that wall and make something calm. You learn how to come into my head space, meet me for who I am and not tell me to meet your neat printed government bull crap standards. Because if you don’t I’m gonna take a fist full of this anger and pain, this fear that’s sat in me since I don’t even remember when, and I’m gonna shove it right in your face. Then you’ll hate me like all the others. All the others. All of them with their judging eyes from their comfortable lives with those that love them. Why don’t you ever learn to see what you are seeing? So, Miss, here is your grade: SEE ME.

Isis stood up from her study and walked to her dressing table. She was ranting in her brain and faking an argument in the mirror of her dresser.

"Give me the freedom to learn by my own errors without judgement and I will school myself faster than you can ever teach!"

Zainab came into her room without knocking, and Isis felt a nick of annoyance at that.

Are you irritated that she came into your room without knocking or you’re irritated that she just found her dad and yours is no more? Which one?

She fanned off her thoughts and forced a smile.

"You good?" Isis queried.

"Yeah bro. What’s up?"

She was chatting in her animated way about her life and petty grievances while Isis languidly showed concern, empathy and a drop of helpful suggestions.

Dude, what are you complaining about. Your father is alive. Something that you’ve always wished for.

After she finished talking Isis’ ear off, she spotted the paper on Isis’ dressing table, and picked up it up.

"What’s this loser? Writing love letters to Alejandro?" She teased.

Isis snorted. "No, that’s something Mami gave me, which I forgot to read."

She looked at Zainab’s face to check if she was still alive, after enduring a while of silence.

She looked shocked, with her eyes glued to the piece of paper.

"What?"