Niko’s Eye

Chapter 75.

Sergio.

If there was ever a time where Sergio lived on the edge, it was now. Never mind the investigation work he did when he was still trying to pin Aisha down, this was on a whole different level because it involved his family. His wife could leave him, and Zainab might lose the be trust that she has in him.

The truth must never surface.

In the absence of truth, comfort is a delusion.

Yet is that delusion good or bad? Well, that depends on if the intention that produced the "comfort" was emotionally indifferent or well rooted in true love.

Let us expand on this point a little more...

As with many ethical and philosophical points the output or result has everything to do with the quality of the input. When we look at the relationship of truth vs. delusion we can ask if the intention was rooted in love emotional indifference. Why? Because they respectively give rise to either virtue or vice. If the truly loving thing to do is truth, then you tell the total truth, nothing hidden. Yet if that would cause pain for no purpose, then the loving thing to do is to provide comfort even if it contains elements of delusion (or lie).

In short, we all need a firm grounding in the truth, yet the kind truth that takes account of love and comfort rather than the brutality of a life without cooling shadows. For in that truth is the way of peace for all. It is a peace born of a more mature standpoint.

Truth is objective rather than subjective, it best applies to situations where science or philosophy can identify true roots and show results in the same way a mathematical equation can show truth.

Personal truth is when we can say that our brain chemistry was impacted, that from our personal perspective we experienced the emotions we are saying we experienced, but we accept that it is a subjective matter where there can be multiple perspectives.

Events can be the former, the latter, or a mixture of the two to various degrees. Often times points in legal settlements rely upon the separation of truth and personal truth. Though both are important and should be taken into account when deciding recommendations, to realise the difference is key to finding peace.

My family is everything to me.

I feel that family values are a thing you develop when you value your family - when they become what you most cherish beyond any material possession or vehicle for either positive self esteem or negative ego. Yet there are times when you must choose children over other relatives, and this happens more often when you are from a family of intergenerational trauma. That trauma changed the neurology of family members, and it altered the epigenetics too, it’s a biological debt inflicted rather than personally earned, yet it is what I needed to figure out if I was to change the fortunes of my own children. I learned there are times to let go of bonds that have become too twisted to ever fix, that by doing so and putting all you efforts into the next generation there is a real chance to win. I think of it as if I am a sailing ship, perfectly balanced with my children aboard. Yet the other relatives insist on sitting all on one side causing a potential capsize. In reality, they have no need of my deck, they are perfectly able to sail away in their own boats. It’s simply a matter of finding the courage to break away from them, from the past, and choose a future that has a future.

Alejandro.

"Reason died so long ago that most are zombie to some degree or other, all seeking "brains to consume" - hence social media. The hordes are whores for ideas and have no capacity to make sense of them. They will support nonsense with as much force as sense. They will ask for explanations they have no capacity to comprehend... and then blame you, ridicule you, set others against you... unless you become the horde master. It’s a long shot, but you are actually their only hope. Will you come in? Will you put your f*****g suit on or not? We’re waiting."

Alejandro sat with Isis curled up under his arm. They were to watch the film noir but she had apparently dozed off.

Reasoning cannot be achieved if one or both speakers is without emotional and intellectual clarity of the concepts being spoken of. For example, if they speak of love, yet have no deep sense of love, their words are unwittingly spoken as no more than the chimes of a bell. They say their words in a carefully learned order, reciting them as a child holds onto a teddy bear, but the words are disconnected from clarity of concept and thus carry no weight. They run around a maze of words as rats too scared to seek an exit, lashing out at those who try to help. One might as well attempt to reason with the sound of the wind as speak with them. And this is the living death of the zealots, the zombies consumed by a virus we call religion. If they had true faith they would leave their maze, explore new learning, safe in the knowledge that their creator, the God who is love, is the creator of all the universe and not simply the pocket they inhabit and quake in - hoping they are superior and eager to accept the demise of others. Yet there is no small evil, and their hope of the ends of others is a great sin. Love commands we love. And in all this, it is only reason combined with empathy and intelligence that can bring order and peace.

This movie is fricken deep. I can’t watch this alone while I’m sitting here with my girl. I either need to get up and go sleep, and take her with me. Or I need to wake her up so that she watches this too.

Did I tell you about the time I met Marsha? She ran after me and tackled me for stealing her bike. We went crashing to the ground, almost got run down by a cement truck in its way to the new housing development. If I think about it I can still smell the cloud of concrete gas and the burning of the tires. She had me pinned like one of her ward patients. In my defence, it looked just like my bike, same brand, but mine had a bell on the handlebars. That was before we had kids, back went we were young and good looking. Well, she is still good looking; but that’s brown skin for you, it ages way better than white. I have skin envy, boob envy too, but that’s the lot of small chested women I guess. We’re all supposed to be double D with the same waists we had at sixteen. No wonder people go under the knife, it’s a kind of mental torture really. Keep telling people they need to meet impossible beauty standards to be loved, to keep their partners, and they’re willing to risk their lives to achieve it.

"Yeah, no. This movie is getting out of pocket."

He gently moved Isis from under his arm in such a way that he was able to then scoop her into his arms and carry her up the stairs. She didn’t like the stairs much ever since her head injury but she was too impatient to take the elevators too.

He smiled at the thought of her.

She’s so beautiful.

These days he had feelings of retrogration. And he didn’t trust himself around Isis anymore. They should just go ahead and get married really quickly because he could feel his grip slipping. He was losing the good guy mask, and nobody had ever seen or caught it slipping. Only himself. And that’s what bothered him even more. That’s probably why he couldn’t watch any confrontational shows without cringing.

It’s all probably in my head. I’m good, I am, I feel it right into my bones that I’ve got more than it takes to make it. The reason I don’t go for it is that the people running the show right now are so very stupid. If I get there, if I do this, will they have the good sense to listen or will they fail to fight their feelings of recognition and fear? The truth is, high intelligence is so welcome at first, when folks see the great advantage to being given answers they otherwise have to work for; everyone enjoys a gift. But what then of the jealous hearts and the power mongers, what of them? What when the gifts are received and they want the "podium" all to themselves? I can rock this, I can take it home and then some... but you need a bit more self control and then maybe I’ll do it. Because I’m gonna need sometime to fix this mess, not an all access pass for a weekend, month or even a year... you’re gonna need me as long as I live and that’s a fact. So, yeah, I’m confident in me, I suppose what I am saying is... I need to be confident in you.