Niko’s Eye

Chapter 27.

"Miscellaneous."

Sergio.

Sergio sat in his office, thinking about how his plan would be executed flawlessly. But, he also felt a tiny wave of sadness.

The melancholy gives away the exit even as it pretends it isn’t there, softly calling me away from all that brings real joy. It tells me that I can’t ask for a hug, reach for the sunshine, or take a walk among the soft hymn of trees, hearing how the wind plays in the leaves. This melancholy is a cloak I can’t simply let fall to the floor, and though I hold it so tight I can’t find the warmth I need, yet it clings. It is the anchor to my feet, the reason I can’t find the surface or the sunshine, that feeling of soft joy that lives in memories that can’t rise within.

But although he felt sadness for how things had to turn out between him and Aisha, he was determined to make the right choice. And that was the choice that he believed in.

Choices are rarely a fork of two pathways, yet with eyes a little wider open, many pathways appear. The right path for one person can be different from another and only the inner compass of love and passion can illuminate it for that soul to walk upon.

Good choices are made not on the journey, but in a moment, at a fork in the road. This is how the brain is; it is how we are. Forward motion comes best when the primitive drive and the higher social brain agree on a path. Let’s say there is someone new in your life you would like to get to know better. Well, your primitive drive and social brain agree with each other, the social brain may wish to help them, show empathy and make a loving bond. The primitive brain may see them as a potential mate or ally in difficulty, yet the primitive brain is also ready to hurt them if they become threatening... and this happens regardless of our dominant conscious thoughts. You may have chosen to acknowledge only part of this reasoning, or all of it, or none of it, either way it is there. No choice has been made, it is all potential, as if you were driving down a road toward a fork and had made no choice as to which direction to take. The brain is ready to respond to the environment and chart a new course if necessary. The brain that can see though the lens of its own need and the lens of the needs of the other, open enough to make a loving bond yet able to close the door to the heart if there is emotional coldness from the other, is healthy. And this model of good choices comes up in everything we do.

We travel our road with all options open, yet over time our choices start to build a habitual preference for love or indifference, to bond or not, for acceptance or hostility, and this changes our brain development. So, how can we make more choices for empathy? Well, if we go back the driving down the road analogy, what is playing on your "radio"? What are your background thoughts? Do they hold you to a moral line, a predisposition to love and be kind? Do they excuse you for coldness and selfish behaviour? Are you playing the songs of love or selfishness? Because there is the balance between your higher social brain and your primitive drive. This is the point of choice.

He knew that there was no good in doing bad. He just couldn’t bring himself to support Aisha in her deeds.

What baffled him the most was that, she did not even have any remorse for any of the things that she had done.

As far as he was concerned, he believed that if you really loved someone, then you had to make sure that you looked out for them and helped them in ways that would seem hurtful to them.

Even if he didn’t love Aisha, he at least cared about her.

This was his way of making sure that she knew that.

She needed to be punished for hurting others and that was his way of showing her that he cared and looked out for her best interests.

In this way, she wouldn’t be doing any more harm to herself or others.

He looked at the documents in front of him.

The same ones that she and Alejandro X. Dominic had signed.

He tapped his pen onto the document, with a pensive face.

He knew what he had to do.

He picked up his cellphone, scrolled down to ’D’, pressed the call button and put the phone to his ear.

He had a plan.

Aisha.

Aisha struggled to carry all of the shopping that she had done for that night, as she opened the door to her hotel room.

She wanted everything to be perfect.

In her world, Sergio deserved everything that she had prepared for him.

She sat on the floor and opened everything up, so she could check her list.

"Lingerie, scented candles, essential oils, strawberries, mangoes, chocolates, perfect."

She proceeded to laying everything out and arranging them to her liking.

She stopped and looked at the big rock on her finger.

Smiling to herself, she said, "I killed Archimedes just for this goddamn ring."

She started to laugh sadistically as she brought up her right hand and flexed her finger muscles, which caused the diamond to dazzle.

Aisha Arismendi becomes, Aisha Aroldo.

She smiled to herself as she thought of the empire that would become hers for the taking.

All of the enterprises, the cars, the houses, the connections, the contacts, the jets.

She cackled out loud and sneered at the ring on her finger as she fantasized.

"Time to have myself a milk bath, with some orange essence and these beautiful roses I picked out."

She walked over to the stereo and blasted the very same sermon she had been listening to over and over again, before heading towards the bathroom door.

"...Luke 10:19, The Lord said behold I give unto you the power over all the powers of the enemies. God has given us the power to neutralize our enemies...,

Alejandro.

As Alejandro watched Isis sing along to the hymns, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and excused himself to answer it.

As he made his way out of the church, he could feel all of the eyeballs burning holes into the back of his head.

He shook his head as he took long strides, adjusting his blazer.

"Goddamn, people can’t mind their own business, " he muttered.

He placed his phone to his ear and waited.

"Good day Alejandro, it’s Sergio."

"Mmm-hmm. What do you want?"

Sergio had told Alejandro to move away from "human ears" so he didn’t find it disturbing that there was a little bird sitting on the staircase rail.

The bird wasn’t human right?

He listened attentively as he received what seemed to be a set of instructions.

By the time he had put his phone down, he had been given a way to clear his name from the whole Puebla Viejo mine saga. And that meant that Isis would trust him again.

But, should she?

He thought of Ignatius, and all of the others he had played god with.

He used to think that he was a god, and yet here he was in God’s house. Humbled to his core.

All of his mafia acquaintances and alliances would never believe what they would be seeing.

He was a work in progress and he had no problem with the person he was becoming.

He had accepted that this was his destiny.

He had been so blind before and now, he could see.

He quickly went back into the church, just as the sermon was taking shape.

"Now Saul of Tarsus was persecuting the people of God, until he received his calling. He had been made blind, until he was able to see again. You all know this story right? Go on and read that at home."

This is fate.

I was blind but now...I see. I had been persecuting innocent people and now I’m here, listening to a sermon. Is this my calling?

Alejandro was so deep in thought that he hadn’t heard when the preacher had been calling people to the pulpit if they had accepted Jesus Christ into their lives.

All he knew was that he was being drawn to the pulpit, in his dazed state.

He slowly stood up and began to walk to the pulpit.

He felt a strong whirlwind of emotions inside of him, surprising himself.

He couldn’t help the tears. He felt so weak. His knees buckled and he fell to floor.

Blurring out the multitude, he only saw himself and the cross that was in front of him.

Lifting up his hands, he whispered, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned."