'Pray' For This Dude

Chapter Three

Craig -

"Yes, dad?" The Rev fixed his vest and smiled, he was clueless.

"Well, look at this. It's good to see y'all getting along now," He nodded his head then looked at Ray, "Ray, my son, I need you to meet someone, I think she's a sweetheart!" I quickly turned around, "She?" I rose my brow at Ray.

She's a sweetheart?! More emphasis on the SHE part. I finally found a guy who took interest in me and now you mean to tell me that this little new fantasy that I took part in is going to be shot down really quick and his dad doesn't know he's-he's gay. Damn. He's in the closet. They're always in the f*****g closet! How could I be so stupid? Of course, the Rev's son would be in the closet.

"Father, I told you, I don't want you finding any more dates for me. I can find one on my own." Ray said gently, but with a pinch of seriousness.

"Oh, son! That's going to take all day. Your school's ball is right around the corner! And plus, she's a big factor, her father is the Preacher of the biggest church, LAKE WOOD!" The Rev yelled as he went into the hall to get the daughter. He stuck his head back in and looked at me.

"Oh, and little brother Crippen there are other lovely girls out here you should try to talk to, maybe you could take one out on a date as well."

"Only if their crouch is nine inches," I spat back at him as he finally left the room with a grunt and a disturbed facial expression.

Ray snickered a bit.

On the other hand, I am still not happy about this whole girl situation with him. I didn't even turn to look at him. I'm just so embarrassed. I feel used, I feel kind of stupid. It seemed like every time I try, I always get shot down.

The black hole in my heart seemed to increase every day. If it wasn't gay slurs towards me, it was the stares. A bunch of careless kids with black eyes, all looking, pointing, laughing. How could my sexuality be such a joke to everyone? So, now I have to forget about even trying. Why would I keep doing the same pattern over and over again? I began to walk off, but Ray quickly grabbed my arm. I jerked my arm back, not interest in anything he was going to say. I am so over this s**t. No one in this f*****g town can just be honest about themselves.

"Crai-" He reached for my arm again. "Stop."

"Craig, Listen-"

"JUST STOP!" Ray obliged. "And let go of me, bro." I snatched my arm back into my possession.

I turned around to look at Ray. I didn't want too, but I wanted to show him my face. Not my normal face, but the face of a strong, black, gay boy who's been through a lot. I couldn't stand being one of those people in the world who couldn't find love, even if I tried. Even if I did do stupid s**t like this. I don't want to hide my feelings, I don't want my partner hiding me, while they go on and f**k a girl to please society. Tears began to come out my face like little droplets, then the waterworks was slowly turned.

"I'm sorry..."

"Sorry for what? You don't even know me, you're the reverends son, you're not even out, so I might as well get the f**k out of here before I throw my sins at you!"

"Stop saying that."

"I don't want to bring you down to hell with me-

"Craig shut up..."

"I don't want your father to see you sticking your d**k in my butt hole!" I said crying now. I became so angry, angrier than I have ever been. I just wanted, I wanted to hit something. I don't know what came over me, but I went over to the wall, punching it furiously. I must have thought I was stronger than I actually am because I didn't even make a dent in the wall.

"f**k!" I yelled. I ended up hurting myself more than hurting the wall.

Ray frowned a bit. He knew that if he liked me, he would have to go through a few obstacles, and I know damn well I won't wait for him to finally come out; that might take years. I know it took me a while too. Ray smiled as I tried to wipe away every tear then looked at him.

"What are you smiling for?!" I huffed at him, sniffing the little snot back into my nose. He took the palm of his hand to cup my cheek, rubbing the outer skirts of it with his thumb.

"Wait for me?" He asked gently.

I looked around and breathed in deeply, "yes, Ray, I will wait for you. I am very against it, but I have a good feeling about this relationship." He smiled and leaned in, wrapping his arms around me in a big bear hug.

"You won't regret it, I promise." I hope I don't regret it, the last time I was in a relationship with a someone who was in the closet, it didn't turn out good and I got my heart broken. It's the worst feeling ever. "Here, for your nose," Ray said handing me some strips of toilet paper. "Thanks,"

"Ray, my boy, what's the hold-up?" Rev screamed from downstairs. "Ha, uh, I guess I have to go."

"Yeah..." He grabbed my hand and I looked up at him, "come on, let me walk you out." I followed his lead, trying to wipe my face so it's not obvious that I've been crying. After that encounter, I stayed at the party for a little but watching Rev Smith force Ray, to talk to that big nose, toothpick chick, it only ignited the fire in me more, so I decided to leave.

Ray-

After the party, and after my dad introduced me to the girl I was going to the ball with- well, I mean, he's making me take her, I don't even give one flying f**k about her. I would take Craig if it was up to me. I started to help him clean up all the trash, leftover cake, barbecue, a paper plate, and cups. I grabbed the chairs and put them all back into the garage. I bet my dad only had this get together to hook me up with girls. He's so sneaky and annoying when it comes to me dating.

I mean, I love my dad, but I hated the fact that he treats me like his little puppet. I have the grades, the looks, the manners and now he wants to me to have his taste? Hell no! As I picked up empty soda bottles, my dad, well the Rev started to preach, and it wasn't about God. It was about Bethany and her very rich father. I could care less about that right now. While he talked, all I could think about was the face Craig made when he founded out it might not work out. I didn't mean to upset him, I honestly didn't know my dad was going to make me talk to some random girl. Anyways, I'm scared of the whole outing thing. How will my dad react? How will my friends act? Craig came out not too long ago and I heard it from the grapevine and no one seems to be supporting him.

"And they could promote our church and, and, son, it would make us bigger, we could be on T.V, do you understand? TV Rayan, and." He kept talking but then stopped. He must've noticed my look. He might talk a lot but he sure notices facial expressions.

"Son?"

"I'm fine dad," I answered. Thinking I already knew that was what he's going to ask. "Okay but, no, I was going to ask are you listening? This is important son. You need to listen and take notes." My dad said. My jaw slightly dropped. I could've just smacked him in the face, he doesn't even care if I'm okay. To be honest, he only cares about the money, not the blessings and not the people, not even our gay people. Also, if you don't donate anything to the church, he'll have his little church followers harass and shame them.

"Just promise you'll be a gentleman to his daughter? She very beautiful, smart, and is currently working on five different organizations, she's perfect, Ray."

"Then why don't you date her dad?"

"Rayan! That is very inappropriate, I am twice her age. Go to your room and ask God for forgiveness, I can't believe my son would say something like that." Then you must not know your son at all then, pastor. He pointed upstairs. I sighed, dropping the black garbage bag and headed upstairs. He'd probably disown me if he ever found out I'm gay.

Things were much easier when I was at the all-boys Cristian boarding school, far away from my father. Plus, everyone was gay there, we all hooked up with each other and it was normal, no one thought about the consequences of going to hell. No one here knows I'm gay, except for Craig and I guess the boys from the Cristian boarding school. That place wasn't what made me realize I was gay, oh no. I've come to terms with it for about three years now. I figured it out when one of my friends gave me a blow job as a dare. After that, I knew I was into guys and never saw myself with a girl again. Before then, I had my suspicions about my sexuality, I didn't want to accept it, I even had little arguments with myself about it.

'No, you're not gay,

Yes, you are!

hell no!

Bro, you're gay,

Alright, I am.'

It was too much of a pain to argue with myself about that even though I always knew. I start to remember from when I was fourteen, boys always got my attention better than girls did. I just, well- I liked the way d***s looked, better than what a p***y looked like. I'm not going to lie, I've looked at sites before when my dad wasn't around, he usually goes on trips for the church and I always make excuses like I have loads of homework to do when I really mean c*m loads I needed to release. Those were the good old days.

I really hope Craig and I can make this work.