The Scandal Queen

Episode One

Two Years Ago

The end of my career came with the chime of cell phones. It was also very public.

When I think about it now, the timing of it was almost as malicious as the act itself. I’ll never forget the hard feeling that formed in the pit of my stomach as I read the text and then the increasing nausea that rose in my throat as I pulled up the headlines and saw the pictures. My pictures.

My body, naked and very exposed splashed all over every social media site, my privacy and humiliation instantly becoming the top trending topic in all of Korea.

I was standing with my teammates, backstage at a broadcasting program, waiting for our call to come onstage and perform with fifty other idols and artists. I watched as one by one everyone in the room, the staff, the managers, every single one of my peers, everyone heard the news. I witnessed their faces when they saw the pictures, caught the shocked and darting looks in my direction. Felt the burning heat of shame in my cheeks as I was forced to witness every person in the building getting a glimpse of one of my most intimate moments exposed in real-time.

Yunseo, Hayze’s leader at the time, turned around from her place at the front of the line and quickly made her way back to me. I don’t remember breathing. At that point, I must’ve gone numb, blanked out in shock. I didn’t hear her calling my name. When I blinked, Yunseo was steering me around by the elbow, hurrying me out of the backstage area and away from the scandalized whispers and shocked and probing eyes on my back.

“Let’s get you out of here.” She said, an arm around my shaking shoulders. Yunseo kept throwing glances back as she led me back to our dressing room. I didn’t even realize the other four Hayze members were following until I heard Soyul behind us as Yunseo gently coaxed me to sit on the couch.

“Should we call the police? That can’t be legal, right?”

Jia was suddenly crouching in front of me, a hard look in her eyes as she gripped my shoulders and made me look up at her.

“Iseul, who had those pictures? Do you know who could have released them?”

I didn’t answer her. I squeezed my eyes shut and dropped my face into my hands, because I did know. I knew exactly who had those pictures, and I knew he had a motive to leak them. I just never would’ve believed he’d do it. That was foolish of me, I realize. You never really know what someone’s capable of. Right up until that moment, I hadn’t realized just how naïve I was to think it could never happen to me.

The dressing room door flew open, bouncing off the wall and making us all jump. In strode Manager Heo, and my stomach sank even lower when I saw the thunderous look on his face.

“Everyone but Iseul out, now,” he growled, brow lowered.

The other girls scrambled up and hurried out, leaving me to my fate. Yunseo, to her credit, hesitated at the door, biting her lip and giving me an apologetic look. I nodded faintly at her and looked down at my feet as the door clicked shut.

“How could let this happen?” Manager Heo began, “How could you be so brash and careless!”

I said nothing. I found I couldn’t open my mouth to reply, the words wouldn’t come. All I could focus on was the hollow feeling in my chest and the angry buzzing sound in my ears. I felt as though I’d been struck by something. I realized only later that was how betrayal felt at first.

Manger Heo began to pace, “You realize how massive this is? This isn’t just a scandal, it’s a f*****g catastrophe!”

I flinched. Manager Heo was normally a mild-mannered man, if a little bossy.

“You’ve ruined the reputation of the whole team. Tarnished the image of everyone that works for this company!”

It wasn’t on purpose. I wanted to say, but didn’t because I knew it wouldn’t help.

“This will cost us thousands in damage control. Not to mention the producers are already talking about cutting Hayze from the show tonight.”

I jerked my head up at that, staring at him. “They can’t! I’ll sit out. They don’t need to cut out the whole team.”

“It’s not up to us,” Manager Heo said, giving me a burdened look of disappointment that cut me to the bone with shame and made me drop my gaze.

He let out a sigh and from the corner of my eye, I saw him run a troubled hand through his hair.

“Go home. Manager Yoo will take you back to the dorms. Stay there until further notice. Don’t go out without a manager. I need to talk to the higher-ups and see what is happening with the board. I’m not sure what will happen from here on out.”

I bit my lip against the tears stinging my eyes and nodded mutely. I got up and gathered my things from the pile of our belongings, covering up my stage outfit and trying not to cry as I pulled pins from my hair and waited for Manager Yoo before I could leave the waiting room.

I kept my arms hugged around my middle and my head down as we walked toward the parking lot and our group van. I could still hear the hushed whispers of everyone we passed as we left. Even if I couldn’t see their faces, I could hear the scorn in their voices. The judgement. Everyone knew, and everyone was looking at me like I was tarnished. Dirty.

I’d never felt so small as I sat in the back of the van alone and watched the broadcast station fade behind us, abandoning the weeks of hard work I’d put in with the girls practicing for that night’s performance. Not knowing I was leaving my dreams in the rearview.

***

Silent words bounced off the walls of the empty dorm as I sat alone for hours reading the headlines and comments. A self-destructive thing to do, I’ll admit, but I couldn’t help it. It was all I could think about, the reality of it not really settling in yet. It was like I was watching the experience from outside myself. Those pictures that kept flashing across my screen couldn’t be of me. Even though I remembered the moment they were taken in startling clarity.

Every headline mocked me from my computer screen.

HAYZE MEMBER KWON ISEUL NUDE PICTURES EXPOSED.

KWON ISEUL’S NUDE PICTURES LEAKED TO MEDIA DURING MUSIC PROGRAM.

STATEMENT FROM HIGH TUNE ENTERTAINMENT EXPECTED AFTER KWON ISEUL NAKED PICTURES LEAKED.

HAYZE PERFORMANCE ON KNBC MUSIC CANCELLED AFTER KWON ISEUL LEAK.

Reading the articles and seeing the pictures, over and over again should have been enough, but in the way of a frog in a pot of boiling water, I naturally went to the comments.

User9987: Wahhh, she’s shameless. Why would you take those kind of photos when you’re an idol??

User00923: This is the end of her career for sure. How can someone come back from that?

User44590: No one’s going to want to pay to see her with clothes on now that they’ve seen her with them off for free kekeke

User8970: Isn’t this revenge porn? That’s a crime to release those photos.

User33567: Why would you take such a risk as an idol? Even normal people know not to take nude photos anymore. You can’t trust anyone.

User23098: I wish the photos were better quality ☹

User77634: She must sleep around a lot. If the police haven’t been contacted yet she probably doesn’t remember who has the pictures XD

User35699: She looks like she’d be wild in bed.

I heard the girls return near ten. And even from my room I could tell they were avoiding me. Despite my absence, their performance had been canceled. I caught a glimpse Jia and some of the others as they passed my room through the cracked door. They avoided my eyes and silently crept past my room. Soyul met my gaze for half a second and then quickly looked away, making me feel somehow worse.

I shut my laptop and got into bed as I listened to the other girls wash up and bed down. I shared a room with Nayoon, so I pulled the covers over my head and turned off the lamp on my side of the room before she came back from the shower. I needn’t have bothered. I was awake when Nayoon came back, and she didn’t even pause before crawling into her bed and turning off her own light. I wondered if she’d even glanced in my direction. I couldn’t blame them, any of them. I’d just put their careers in jeopardy as well. Still, it hurt, a little, that no one had bothered to ask me if I was okay.

Two days later I sat at the end of a long-polished table in a big conference room at the main office of High Tune entertainment, nervously tapping my fingers on the table while manager Heo and I waited.

My gut twisted as the conference room door opened and the board members of High Tune filed into the room taking their seats around the table. They looked down their noses at me, all of them stone-faced and silent old men. I could feel the weight of their judgment on my shoulders as prominent as a physical presence.

The CEO Mr. Hong cleared his throat and folded his hands in front of him, staring me down from the other end of the table.

“Miss Kwon, we’ve asked you here today to discuss—”

“I want to press charges.” I declared, cutting him off and earning me some dirty looks from the other board members. It wasn’t polite, but I wanted to get my piece in before the lectures and condemnation began, and my nerves were making me impulsive.

Mr. Hong blinked and pinched his brows together. “Charges?” he repeated.

“Against the person who leaked my pictures. I know who it is and revenge porn is a crime. I’d like to press charges,” I told them, keeping my spine straight and my gaze steely.

A few of the board members glanced at each other. Someone coughed. Beside me, Manager Heo was grinding his teeth. Mr. Hong frowned at me like I’d said something unnecessary.

“It has already been decided that no legal action will be taken in regards to the photo leak.”

It was High Tune’s lawyer, seated halfway between me and Mr. Hong, who spoke up. I gaped at him and then glanced at Manager Heo, who looked away from me at the ceiling.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Our legal and PR teams have already conferred on the matter and it has been decided that the best way to handle the situation is to let it quietly disappear. We will not be dragging out the issue further by taking any legal action.”

I blinked and took a breath. “But … Those were my pictures! It was my privacy that was invaded. You can’t—”

“The clause in the contract you signed when you joined Hayze allows us to make decisions and gives us legal clearance for any issue that may affect Hayze or the company's image, including the exposure of private content.”

I gaped at them, feeling like I’d been dealt another blow. I understood, quite plainly, that I was being told that I was not even going to be allowed to defend myself.

“Furthermore,” Mr. Hong continued, speaking up, “We’ve called you here to discuss your future with the group and with your continued representation here at High Tune.”

I sat back in my chair, because the weight of those words was unmistakable. I knew what was coming next, even though I didn’t want to believe it.

“The board has decided that the best way to salvage Hayze’s image and the reputation of High Tune is to remove you from the group. To compensate you for your troubles, we will be releasing you from your exclusive contract so you may be able to restart your career elsewhere.”

The air felt as though it had been sucked out of the room. No one breathed. Not a single person at the table would meet my eyes.

“Y-you’re letting me go? I’m being dropped by the label?” I thought I might start hyperventilating.

“You will be given the rest of your earnings from this year’s promotions.” The lawyer seemed to be trying to soften the blow, and I almost laughed. If my earnings looked anything like last year’s earnings after High Tune took their cut, then I wouldn’t even have enough to book a flight back to California.

“This was a difficult decision for us.” Mr. Hong added, fixing his face into something I’m sure he thought was sympathetic. “But you should remove your things from the dorm as soon as possible.”

I sat very quietly for several moments. So stunned that I almost didn’t believe it. I couldn’t find a sympathetic face anywhere in the room. When I looked Manager Heo’s way, he simply looked down at the floor. In the end, it didn’t feel like it had been a difficult decision for them at all.

***

As soon as possible turned out to be that night. I was escorted by a harassed-looking Manager Heo and a hurried secretary from High Tune back to the dorms where I was supervised while I packed, all the while feeling as though I was some kind of criminal.

The rest of the girls were seated in the living room when I came out, dragging my bags and all of my possessions dejectedly behind me.

They watched me being tossed from my home for the last two years in silence. Some of them eyed the whole thing with blank expressions. Others still couldn’t meet my eye. Only Yunseo met my gaze, her expression pinched with sympathy. She tried to flash me a half smile of what I think was encouragement, but I could see even she felt conflicted about that small show of support.

Two hours later, I sat alone in a motel room in a cheap strip on the outskirts of Seoul. Renting the room with the last couple hundred won I had in my pocket. I could hear someone f*****g in the room next door. The walls were thin, and I was staring at a hot tub in the middle of the room from the mattress of a heart-shaped bed.

If this wasn’t rock bottom, I didn’t know what was. I’d missed four calls from my father. Which was unlikely to be a good thing, since I hadn’t heard from him in nearly a year. Someone must’ve told him the news back home. I’d been avoiding it for the last few days, hoping this kind of thing would stay on this side of the Pacific. Apparently, my luck had completely run out.

I sat there numbly for what felt like hours, contemplating my life and the mess I’d made of it. I was twenty-five, and it felt as if the last seven years that I’d spent training, starving, practicing till my feet bled, working schedules till I had to hold my own eyes open, running myself into the ground and leaving everything I’d ever known behind had all been wasted. All because of a man who couldn’t handle rejection.

The more I thought about it, the more my disbelief and despair turned into something sharper, hotter. Fury boiled inside of me. I’d just lost my career, my home, the only friends I had in this country. I had pennies to my name and nothing to show for it. My reputation was ruined, thoroughly. The whole country thought I deserved it and I wasn’t even allowed to get justice.

I wasn’t signed to High Tune anymore, but the contract I’d signed was still valid for anything that happened before I’d been released. So, in short, I wasn’t going to be able to hold the man who’d ruined my life responsible.

Or could I? As I sat there and thought about it, I wondered just what did I have to lose now? I couldn’t go to the police, of course, and honestly, even if I had, he’d only deny it. I had no doubt he would have covered his tracks. Used a different IP address or used some kind of hacker trick to make the source of the photos untraceable. The photos that had been leaked were actually photos of photos on someone’s phone. A clever trick that, if he was accosted, it could look as though someone had taken them from him without permission.

So maybe no one could help me. But I was a free agent now, and maybe I couldn’t get my reputation back, but that didn’t mean I had to sit here and be silent, to disappear like the industry wanted me to. They wanted me to bend my head and shame and slink away quietly. Well, I decided I didn’t want to be quiet.

What I did next, I’ll admit, may have been ill-advised. But I did it with this mantra on repeat: f**k him. f**k them. f**k all of them. f**k it to hell.

Because you know what? Those pictures—I had the originals. That was my body, my private moment, and if the world wanted to paint me as the w***e, the slut. If they wanted me to be shameful, scandalous. Then I was going to own it.

Former Girl Group Member @E-SulKwon

(4 Photos)

“If the whole world is going to see them, then you might as well see them in HD. Should I release the video we made that day too? Just kidding. You have an image to uphold. Imagine how embarrassing it would be if everyone saw how terrible you are in bed. Why do you think I broke things off in the first place? All this trouble for a half-rate lay. At least I can actually get off now. XXX”

The numbers started to roll seconds after the post went live. Twitter was the natural choice, since the messiest things always seemed to happen on Twitter, and I figured i********: would just delete them. I never told the agency about the tape. I knew, of course, the reason the video hadn’t been leaked was because he would have been identifiable. Even if he was able to censor his face out, someone would have recognized his voice. The tape would never see the light of day, but I wanted everyone to know it existed. Because if I was going to be known for revenge porn, then everyone might as well know that I went all out.

User56784: Yahhh, she’s really lost her mind now.

User47389: I guess the rumors about her getting kicked out of Hayze are true. There’s no way the agency would let her post this.

User32890: Oh, she’s seriously mad this time.

User00982: This is kind of a power move actually.

User221998: She’s fighting back now. Good for her.

User32488: Why do I kind of love her for doing this?

User32122: She’s really not ashamed of it, I actually respect her for that.

User998645: Kwon Iseul is no joke. Korea’s never seen anything like this before.