So Far From I Expected

28

Papa lifted me down from the carriage and swung me around like he did when I was only a wee girl. Theodore helped Mama down and scooped Granny into her chair; a footman wheeled her away with Mama in tow leaving me with Papa and Theodore.

An awkward silence surrounded us as we made our way to the Mama and Granny’s rooms. Theodore bid Papa goodnight and left us in the hallway. Papa took my hands and smiled affectionately at me. ‘You looked like an angel tonight, I could burst with pride. You’re a smart young woman Caireann, and that young man in there has treated us like royalty. He made us feel welcome, as if we belong.’ He shook his head and rolled his eyes. ‘I don’t know how he has changed our opinion of him but he has. You’re mother and I have given him our blessing pet, just make sure and do what will make your dreams come true. And be sensible!’ he winked at me and I blushed from head to toe making him laugh.

‘Goodnight Papa,’ I whispered and hugged him tight. ‘I love you very much.’ He hugged me back and choked back tears, ‘I love you too pet.’ He took my face in his hands and bend down to kiss my forehead. I smiled softly as he entered his suite of rooms and closed the door behind him.

Taking a deep breath outside the suite I was to share with Theodore, I walked into the great room praying that he would be there to undo my corset, I needed to breathe. He was sat, lounging by the fire with a glass of whiskey in his hand. He looked up at me with a small smile on his lips. ‘Can you help me out of this corset?’ I whispered and looked at the floor, embarrassed and unsure of what to do next.

I shivered at his response; ‘My pleasure.’ He stepped towards me and his eyes wre dark. ‘I sent word to Sinead to help your Momma and Granny get ready for bed. We can manage here.’ the tone of his voice was like I had not heard it before, not in a bad way but just different. ‘Hey, Caireann are you ok?’ I nodded and smiled, his voice had returned to normal and he took my hand. He squeezed it gently and led me towards my bedroom.

He closed the door and nervously traced the edge of my dress along my back. I realised then that I had nothing to sleep in and panicked. ‘Um, Theodore I normally sleep in my petticoat or my dress. I don’t have anything to ...’ He laughed softly and twirled me around to face the bed. I gasped at the gold silk and lace edged nightdress and matching robe on the bed.

‘You were saying?’ I shook my head feeling overwhelmed and walked to the mirror pulling off my gloves to take the comb and pins out of my hair. Theodore watched me from the bed post and approached me slowly as I undid the clasp on the necklace he gave me, laying it on the dresser ran my finger across the fine chain. ‘It’s so pretty.’

Theodore pulled the ribbon on the back of my gown, ‘Not as beautiful as you.’  Tugging the ribbon out of each loop until there was nothing left to hold the dress up, the fabric collapsed around me in a pool of red silk and lace.

A finger ran gently from the base of my ear down my neck and over my shoulder where Theodore’s touch faltered and both of his hands suddenly rested solidly on my hips. He exhaled a long breath and gripped my hips tightly before beginning to loosen the tie on the corset that restrained me.

In less than a moment, my slip and the corset was on the floor, a shredded mess on top of my dress; his hands had torn through the boned material leaving my body bare; I felt vulnerable and flinched, startled by the passionate but violent act and covered myself instinctively.

‘No, please don’t cover yourself. I’m sorry I didn’t mean to frighten you.’ He gushed and wrung his hands nervously. Relaxing my body I uncovered myself before stepping away from him towards the bed. Bending over, I shook my head upside down to loosen my hair and reached out to touch the silk of the nightgown.

I could feel Theodore’s eyes on me; studying the way I moved. Sliding the soft material over my body caused my n*****s to harden and become prominent. I lifted the glass of whiskey Theodore had left on the table beside the bed and drained the glass. My mind was racing, what was I doing? What did I want to do? I wanted Theodore, I wanted his hands on me and his mouth, I wanted his mouth on me so much it was painful.

‘Goodnight Caireann.’ He whispered as he moved towards the door. I whirled around, my face full of panic and my voice scared. ‘No! Don’t, don’t go. I,’ I didn’t want him to leave. I needed him to stay. ‘Theodore I’ve never slept in a bed on my own before. I’ve not slept on my own since Frankie was born, first him and now I sleep curled up beside the twins.’ I walked towards him cautiously and whispered, ‘Please don’t go.’

Theodore’s reaction to my outburst surprised me more than everything that had already occurred that evening. ‘You, you want me to stay? Here? With you? All night?’ He stuttered, surprise and confusion etched in his face as he stared into my eyes searching for something.

‘Yes, I want you to stay with me.’ I looked deep in his eyes and stood up on my toes and my nose brushed his. ‘I want you to hold me tonight; I want to wake up beside you in the morning.’ Softly I kissed his lips before stepping back and pulling on his bow tie. ‘I’m not just scared about sleeping alone. I want to wake up beside you.’

He looked puzzled but cupped my face in his hand as one by one I unfastened the buttons of his shirt and un tucked it from his trousers. I ran my hands over his shoulders pushing the crisp white shirt off his strong shoulders. I ran my fingers down his chest and gently kissed the curls that softly tickled my fingers. He sighed and pushed me a step away, his brow furrowed. I felt a stab of disappointment, not knowing what I had done wrong.

‘Wait Caireann, are you sure? I mean I can sleep here but in your bed? I don’t want to take; I mean I just don’t want to rush anything.’ He looked so concerned I couldn’t help but smile at him and shake my head. ‘Theodore, you won’t; you aren’t. I thought I made that clear earlier?’

My mind raced back to our encounter in the bathtub before the ball and I blushed and had to look away. I felt his finger under my chin and I let him lift my gaze to him. His smile was small as he leant in to kiss me. Scooping me up in his arms his kiss deepened and his tongue skimmed my top lip making me moan gently against his mouth.

He laid me on the bed and kicked off his shiny leather shoes one at a time. Watching him undo his trousers made my insides clench and caused my n*****s to pucker under the silk fabric that tickled them. They fell down to his ankles, revealing his strong legs to my suddenly tired eyes.

Theodore clambered onto the soft bed beside me and pulled the warm heavy blankets over my legs up to my waist. I yawned broadly causing Theodore to laugh at me before he too yawned. I fell back against his chest and we giggled at each other before falling silent. We held each other and lay on the bed, comfortable silence surrounding us.

In a hushed voice Theodore broke the silence, ‘I love you Caireann. Thank you for tonight, you proved to my Momma and Papa that you are all I said you were and more. You’re everything to me.’ He squeezed me tightly and kissed the top of my head. ‘I love you too Theodore.’ I nuzzled into him and listened to his heart beating in his chest. His breathing was in rhythm with mine and it gently rocked me into a deep peaceful sleep.