Touched by Smoke

Chapter 3

Elara

Adam hasn’t left his room in hours, and I wonder if he’s okay. I don’t want to suffocate him with my concern. Since I haven’t heard any alarming noises coming from his room, I have to believe he’s fine. Well, *his* version of fine.

In the meantime, I’ve tried to bring a little life into his house. I did a bit of cleaning, gathered a bunch of lilac flowers from outside, and placed them in a vase on the living room table, hoping to change the atmosphere a little.

Maybe one day he’ll understand that he doesn’t have to live as if he’s already dead.

I sit in the armchair in the living room, scrolling through my phone, trying to keep my mind busy with something else and not go after him. I’ve decided to stay a bit longer, just in case he needs anything. I’ve prepared something light for dinner and left it aside.

I hear a faint sound coming from his room, but when I perk up my ears to listen more carefully, it’s gone.

There’s silence for several dozen seconds, then I hear him yelling something—at someone or something. I drop my phone on the armchair and rush into his room. I find him in bed, asleep, tormented by a nightmare that, for him, seems painfully real.

I stop at the doorway. The darkness in the room is thick, like a heavy fog that seems to rise from his very skin. Adam tosses and turns in bed, his forehead damp with sweat, lips trembling as he mutters something incoherent.

— *No… Don’t let them… Not Jared… Not him…*

His breathing grows faster, his chest heaving under his soaked shirt. When he lets out a short moan, like a stifled scream, I don’t hesitate. I approach him slowly and sit on the edge of the bed.

— *Adam?* I whisper gently, touching his arm lightly.

He doesn’t hear me. Or maybe he can’t. His eyes move rapidly under his lids, and his jaw clenches as if trying not to scream.

Then, all of a sudden, he jerks upright, swinging an arm through the air. I dodge just in time and watch him with my heart in my throat.

— *It’s just a dream, Adam! You’re safe. You’re safe here!*

He looks at me without truly seeing me, his pupils dilated, gaze lost in a past I can never fully understand.

— *Elara?* he asks, hoarse, nearly choked.

I nod slowly and take his trembling hand in mine.

— *Yes. I’m here. There’s no one here to hurt you. There’s no more war here, Adam.*

For a moment, he seems to collapse into himself. His head drops into his hands, and he starts breathing in ragged gasps, as if air itself were a punishment.

— *Jared was just a kid… He shouldn’t have been there… None of them should have…*

His voice is torn apart. It hurts to hear it. It hurts to see a man shattered into so many pieces that even he no longer knows his own shape.

— *I know I can’t erase what happened. But I’m here. With you. And you don’t have to carry it all alone.*

He doesn’t say anything. He just lets the tears fall silently down his cheeks. He doesn’t sob. He doesn’t complain. But the pain in his silence is louder than any scream.

I shift slightly and wrap my arms around his body. He doesn’t resist. He rests his forehead on my shoulder and, for the first time, he leans on someone.

Not as a soldier.

Not as a man broken by life.

But as a human being who has carried too much suffering… and who, at least for one night, has someone to hold it with him.