SWEET CONFUSIONS

CHAPTER 5

    Checking my watch I'm 5 minutes early. Thought I'll be stuck in traffic. What a relief, I don't like being late. "Punctuality is giving respect." that's what my father always say. The hostess lead me through the restaurant. I was curious how he looks like. doesn't matter what he looks like i guess, I just pray that he's not a creep. Far across the room I saw the most mesmerizing icy blue eyes I have ever seen. He looked like he just came out of a magazine. Everything seems frozen in time.

"Good evening, Natasha." holding my hand he slowly placed his soft pink lips. Akkkkk I'm never going to wash my hand! Oh no! I'm already love-struck and the date has just started. Okay, just keep it cool. say something cool.

"Helloooo!" my lips puckered on the letter O. Mental slap on face... ugggh that was 'cool', (Clears throat) "Good evening Mr. Monroe." using my bedroom voice.

"Please call me Sebastian." he whispered in my ear helping me to my chair. His breathe on my ear! His breathe ON MY EAR!? My heart is racing, "You okay? You're turning red."

"Oh Ahoohoohoo, no, no, I'm fine." I'm laughing like I had lip fillers! I have to compose myself. I keep on thinking about s*x? my hand was shaking while I sip my water splashing some drop everywhere. ‘You’re Okay, Nat. Just take a deep breath. Think of your composure. "Do you have long... I mean have you been waiting long?"

"Probably 10 seconds before you've arrived. I just want to say that it's refreshing that I'm not going to drink by myself", nodding for a waiter to get their order. "The usual, martini dirty, and the lady would have?"

"Gimlet." I would want to have you but a little bit of alcohol should loosen me up. This god-like man is giving me the hots. Damn, abstinence from s*x is making me h*rny.

"I'll be serving your drinks in a moment. Sir, Madam." the waiter bowing before leaving.

"I was worried you won’t come." the waiter placing charcuterie board with a variety of cheese, nuts, dried fruits, olives, crackers, cold cuts, honey and dips all on a small wooden board. He took a pistachio to his mouth. Mmm salty nuts...

“Why is that?”

"You are Natasha Whitfield after all." Mhmm... I feel hot. do you feel hot? My armpits are super sweaty.

"Are we ready to order, Sir?" the waiter asked.

"Ladies first."

"I'll have the peekytoe crab salad, lamb with extra mint, and the Yuzu tart please."

"Celery root soup, striped bass, and the chocolate cream tart for me. Thank you, George.”

"You come here often? With other girls?" a tinge of jealousy. I’m being possessive and it’s just the first date! (inner me awkward laugh) I think I’m starting to obsess.

"I've been coming here since I was 8 yrs old. This is my favorite place to eat. You are the only one I've brought here." he blushed. oh how cute!

"Appreciate that you consider me your first date here." Batting my eyes several times. I like the way he said 'you are the only one I've dated' My inner diva doing her sashay walk. "You were married before?"

"Yes, I did. She was a lovely woman."

"Did you love her?"

"Surprisingly no. Father always said that love follows. Never did. We live separately."

"That’s sad.”

"Our fathers had a partnership of our companies, since her father died. She sold the company to us and she married someone else that she loves and just eloped. Fixed marriages is an obligation, especially to my father."

”Well anyway, nothing to be sad about. Let’s change the topic shall we? I want to know more about you. Your friend said that you are in the fashion industry.”

    We both took care not to talk about business with pleasure. We were at ease with each other. Talking about what we like and what we want to do. We laughed and told jokes. After dessert we had a little stroll at the park. We had our coats on but I'm still chilly. I shivered. He removed his scarf and wrapped it around my neck. I could feel his warmth through the clothe. My eyes twinkling at him. He's so gallant.

"Thank you." As soon as whispered words came out he kissed me. Soft, subtle, and intoxicating kiss. I didn't want it to end. He pulled away. I whimpered from the abrupt end. Pulling on his coat towards me I kissed him for a couple of seconds more. He was dazed and surprised that I kissed him. well I was just giving back the favor.

"Are you warm enough?" wrapping his arms around me crushing me against his chest. He smells like sandalwood. His lips resting on my forehead.

"Mmm, yes. Thank you." snuggling in his embrace.

"I'm craving for sweets. Would you care to join me at a cafe bar?"

"Do they have chocolates there?"

"All kinds of chocolates from all over the world."

"That's good enough for me. Come on! Let's go." my skirts hiked up I walked faster on the pathway.

"Wait you don't even know where it is... " running after me.

My attitude towards men are the same. I know it's still too early to say that none gave me what I wanted. Everything wasn’t right. Something is missing. Maybe dreaming of love and happiness doesn’t exist.

I should just give up on dating entirely and focused everything on my work... Wait... I have been doing that since the divorce. I thought of nothing about myself. I’ve been distracting myself with work. I was unwilling to be happy.

What about s*x? There’s always the option of gadgets. At least I have a little bit of joy to enjoy. Shameful gadgets and toys, that I have bought and some acquired as gifts from my 2 besties, Bevs and Connor. They said, “It’s for those lonely nights.” I remember that they gave it to me during our Christmas dinner at a restaurant, and yes I opened it not knowing what it is. The packaging burst open and  it fell on the floor vibrating and wriggling like it’s alive. I have to drop my coat just to hide it from the public view. We were all red from embarrassment and we just laughed about it.

“Are you alright?” Sebastian shining his beautiful smile before sipping on his Whisky.

“Yes. I was admiring the flowers, I love orchids.” turning from the garden view and back at him, and taking a small bite of my dark chocolate and Whisky dessert that he suggested I try.

"Our date is about to end. I hope you enjoyed my company as I have?"

"Oh yes, you are wonderful." kissing him on the cheek.

"May I see you again?" 

"Of course. I would like that."