I STILL TASTE THE PAST
1202 Words
0021
AUGUST
“Just like that?” I asked him.
“Do you want to know or not?” he replied, holding my gaze.
“ I want to, it's just- never mind. Let's go.” I smiled as I gripped his wrist, dragging him to the driver's seat.
I haven't had alcohol in a while, and I wasn't going to miss on this one.
I slid into the passenger's seat, buckling up with a dramatic click that made him glance. The corner of his face twitched, before his eyes went back to the road.
The drive felt shorter this time, or maybe I was just thinking too hard to notice the minutes.
I kept stealing looks at his side profile: his. Sharp jawline, the faint scar that cut through his left eyebrow, the way his hands gripped the wheel like it owed him money, pressing hard till his knuckles turned white.
We pulled into a gravel lot outside a bar that looked like it had given up on life sometime in the nineties. River’s End. Cute.
Inside, it smelled like spilled whiskey and regret, the good kind. The bartender—a woman with a long gray braid and zero interest in small talk—slid a bottle and two glasses across the counter the second she saw Levi. No words. No menu. He paid in cash, nodded once, and led me to the darkest booth in the back.
I sat opposite him, watching him as he poured a drink into my glass.
I raised it up
“Too bad decisions.” We clinked.
He scoffed, "Just drink."
I took a sip, the alcohol burning down my throat.
"Okay. Now, can you speak? I've been dying to know what the fuss over the truck was about.”
He stared at his glass, slowly swirling it, and then his eyes moved to me.
"Do you really want to know this?"
"Um, yeah. I followed you cause I wanted to know. So Talk." I said, leaning back.
He exhaled, taking a long drink before setting his glass down.
"When I was six, my parents died. It was a brutal car accident, The officers said the driver was drunk.” he paused for a moment, like he was getting a flashback.
Poor Levi.
“I survived because the back seat belts saved me, but my parents didn't."
I felt goosebumps rise over my body. It reminded me of my parents. My chest tightened.
"Levi," I whispered, "Just let me finish." He muttered.
"They handed me over to a foster system. They shuffled me through various homes. Some wanted me, some maltreated me, some treated me badly. And the last one they took me to, they found out that they did drugs, and then they pulled me out.
Then finally, this one family came. They took me in, and I felt like I had finally seen a new family. Yunno, like maybe I could finally breathe.
It was a big house. They treated me specially. They said I was one of the best kids they've known. They gave me the best education. Everything anyone could ask for. But after a while, they said..." He paused and then took another sip.
Batting his eyes like he was blinking back tears, he finally spoke.
"The truck wasn't actually Lucian's, it was mine." he exhaled.
I gasped.
"I had this truck. It was the favorite thing I played with. It was what kept me-kept my mind away from them. And then, the fire, the fire happened." I froze.
"Fire?"
"Yes." He nodded. "One night I woke up to smoke clouding the place, people yelling. And before they could bring me out, my foster parents didn't make it.”
“They didn't make it.” He muttered again, like he was having a panic attack.
“I'm sorry." The words hit me. The memories just came flooding back. The memories of my parents in the fire, my scream, Atticus' scream, but I managed to pull myself together and block the thoughts.
He just stared at me, twirling his glass.
I gripped his hand for support, rubbing the back of his hands as he continued.
“Then they took me to another family. They adopted me, they treated me like their own, same behavior. But I was still traumatized. The fire had an impact on me. I had bad nightmares, but they were there for me. But eventually, things changed.
They said I wasn't enough.”
I just continued rubbing his hands.
He paused, staring into the open air.
I rubbed his hands continuously. "You're fine, I'm here with you."
He sniffed. “After a while, they said I wasn't enough. I wasn't what they thought I was, so they moved me to the basement. You know, she said it was temporary. Maybe till they get a new kid and the kid fits in, then probably they'll bring me up, or so I thought.”
“They left me there. The only thing that kept me safe was the truck that was still with me. It survived the fire, because I slept with it on the night of the fire, although it was burned. It got burned when I escaped the fire.
I felt really bad. "So they just, what? Discarded you?"
"Yeah," he said, taking a huge gulp.
“I stayed there for a long time, you know? The new kid got my room, my toys, everything. And I stayed there, watching him from the staircase”
Sometimes, I snuck to the kitchen to watch him through the window. It felt really horrible.”
I felt tears prickling the side of my eyes.
I lost my parents too. I lost my friend too. Everything was just so similar.
Maybe that's why he turned out to be grumpy.
“That truck, seeing you hold it like nothing, it hits me hard. That's why I Lied. It wasn't Lucien's own. I only said it belonged to Lucien because I thought maybe if I said it belonged to Lucien, you would give it some respect and let it be.” he said, his voice shaky.
“I didn't know...” My voice cracked.
“I am so sorry, Levi.”
“I'm not...offended, I know you didn't know.” he smiled, pouring more drinks into our glasses.
The silence just stayed there, wrapping us round.
I poured more drink. We both drank, staring at each other.
“You are not discarded. You're not a mistake. You're here. You're strong. Look how far you've come. Look what you've built.” I assured.
He looked at our hands, holding me tighter.
Everything felt smaller. We felt too close.
His knee brushed mine "You're not invisible," I whispered.
He just nodded, staring into my eyes.
Then his eyes dropped to my lips and then…he kissed me, hard.
His hands gripped my jacket, deepening the kiss. And then he pulled away, gasping, “Fuck.” He whispered.
I touched my lips breathless, staring at him. “We shouldn't... We would... ” he stuttered, but his eyes said otherwise.
I could see the hunger in his eyes. The kiss felt too real. “Let's just... We should go.”
- Writer
