Hidden In These Walls

13- It's' Goodbye

//Nick//

It is now Thursday, and my birthday was on Tuesday. I am now 19. Yeah I know, I’m old enough to be out of school, but what can I say? When I moved here, they for some unknown reason made me repeat a class. Anyways, I had the best night of my life with my family and friends, especially with my pretty boy Toby. But, I still can’t stop thinking about Mason. Curse Hunter for reminding me of him. Mase was just lying there in the back of my head, but the mention of his brother just brought him back to the front. Now, the reasons of him never coming back to me were swirling in my head and hunting my thoughts. 

“You seem so tensed up Nicky.” Toby said.

“No baby, I’m fine.” I muttered before pecking his cheek.

“You sure? Because if you are, we can fix that.” He whispered seductively in my ear while climbing onto my lap.

“Hmm…We can huh?” I mumbled, looking straight into his pearl blue eyes.

“We can, but we may not.” He winked, and then moved in attempt to get of my lap.

Before he could even move an inch, I clutched him tighter so that his chest hit my own and attacked his red plump lips.

“Where do you think you’re going?” I pressed my mouth hard on his jaw and started to work my lips down to his neck, sucking at his sensitive spot that I became too familiar with.

“N-Nowhere?” He panted.

“Exactly!” I growled.

Our lips smacked against each other once again, relishing the taste of one another’s mouth. I parted his lips and slipped my tongue into his warmth. Our tongues battled for what felt like an eternity, when in fact it was mere minutes.

I tugged on his shirt to take it off, and he quickly complied, taking it off and over his head. My hands directly darted to his torso, running all the way from his shoulders to his chest and delicious abs while our lips never left each other.

Then, he managed to slip my own shirt over my head and ran his tongue from my neck to my left n****e, nipping at it softly with his teeth while pinching my right one, earning a groan from me.

Soon, Toby was butt naked underneath me, sprawled on the living room couch. My fingers ran across his chest to reach his abdomen, tracing the lines creating his abs. My hand then slipped to wrap around his hardened member, stroking it slowly. 

A throaty moan was heard from him as I worked on his hard on. He moved a bit to strip me out of my trousers and boxers and then started to mimic my own actions, doing to me what I am doing to him.

Soon, we both needed to feel more of each other and the moans and groans were so loud. I let go of his member and trailed two of my fingers to his pinkish hole, scissoring into him and stretching him. My mouth found his in another heated kiss while I continued what I was doing.

“It’s enough Nick. I’m already used to you so just f**k me already!” Tobe croaked out. And right then, he looked so hot; it was hard not to comply with his orders.

 So I removed my fingers and with one swift move, I pushed into him filling him completely. We continued to kiss as I stood still to make him adjust to me. Then, he wrapped his arms around my shoulders and started moving more onto me. 

After fifteen minutes of thrusting into him, we finally came out of our high. I pecked his lips again, and then his nose and forehead. 

“I love you pretty boy.” I said, and I meant every single word.

“I love you more, baby. This was incredible. I’m so happy we’re alone here.” He replied.

“Me too baby. And boy didn’t you fix my tensed up state!” I joked.

“You know how I do.” He said, and smirked at me after.

“Oh yes I do. And no one will ever know besides me.” I growled before starting round two.

//Jason//

Hunter and I spent Christmas Eve together, and it was the first Christmas in ages that was pleasant and sweet and fun and full of love. But the past two days went by so quickly, and now in just a blink of an eye, it’s Thursday.

I woke up in the same hotel bed, expecting to feel Hunter’s arms around me, but I didn’t. I let my hand extend to reach Hunter’s part of the bed but it was empty.

“Hunt?”

No reply.

Panic suddenly filled my head, heart and my very soul as I opened my eyes and scrambled out from under the blankets. I looked around but there was no sign of him. The bathroom door was open and there was no one in there. My eyes darted to the floor, and I couldn’t see his shirts that were sprawled there before, and neither his duffle bag. 

Where is he? Did he leave me? He didn’t even say goodbye.

I felt the tears threatening to spill out of my hopeless eyes at any minute. He couldn’t leave me. He said he would leave on Saturday, and today is Thursday. It’s Thursday!

I ran my hands through my curls then clutched them so tightly in my fists that it started to hurt a bit. A tear finally broke the barrier and escaped my eye.

He left me… He left me. He left me.

What will I do now? I can’t go back home now, I’m only allowed to go back Saturday night. He, he just said that he wouldn’t leave me, but he did. I’m left alone again with all of these cruel devilish people. How will I survive now that I depend so much on Hunter?

I thought he was different. I thought he really loved me, yet here I am, left all alone because he walked out on me.

By now, I was sobbing uncontrollably. I was such an i***t when I thought there is at least little hope for my messed up life. I’m the damned boy and will always be this f****d up damned boy of Cheshire.

“Angel?”

And now I’m hearing his voice in my head like a freaking lunatic!

“Angel? What’s wrong baby?”

Wait what? Why is his voice so near and clear and-

I looked up to find Hunter standing by the hotel room door, eyes furrowed and staring concernedly at me.

“H-Hunt?” I chocked out.

Before I was able to realize what was happening, I found myself plunging straight out of bed and running all the way to where Hunter was standing. I directly jumped on him wrapping both my hands and legs around him which caused him to lose his balance and fall back. We ended up lying on the ground with me on top of him, our bodies half in the corridor and half in our room. I let my face fall into his neck while he hugged me tightly to his own body.

“Wow, there angel! What’s wrong? Why were you crying baby? Does something hurt?” He asked while pushing up with me still hung up to him as if he would turn and leave at any minute.

He managed to stand up and walked into the room.  We sat on the bed with me on his lap, and he started to push my loose curls away from my forehead.

“Aren’t you going to tell me what’s wrong Jay? I can’t read minds baby.” 

I stared at him for a while, taking in his every feature and memorizing them. Finally I broke the silence invading the atmosphere.

“Please don’t think I’m stupid Hunter, but I woke up earlier and didn’t find you here and your stuff weren’t even sprawled across the room anymore so I thought you left me without saying goodbye and I couldn’t handle the thought. So, I broke down. I’m pathetic, I’m so sorry.” I said quickly.

“Jason, baby stop saying that! You’re not stupid or pathetic! You were hurt when you didn’t find me and I understand so stop apologizing.”

He hugged me back to his chest where I rested my head and continued, “Look at me, I’m here. I would never leave without saying goodbye and making sure you’re safe angel. The reason why my stuff isn’t visible is because I placed them in the closet over there. And I wasn’t in here before because I was just outside having a smoke.” 

“You smoke?” 

“Yeah, I kind of do. Mostly when I’m so stressed out.” He answered.

“Is the stress because of me Hunter?” 

He kissed my head and said, “Off course not! I love you angel and you would never cause me any stress.” 

“I love you too baby.” I said.

“Say it again.” He murmured.

“What?” I asked, confused.

“Baby, I love it when you call me that.” He stated.

I giggled like a stupid little girl when she gets excited for cartoon shows and said, “Baby, I love you. You’re my baby.” 

“Hmm, and you’re mine angel. Only mine.” He whispered seductively in my ear, altering my body and sending a shiver to run down my spine.

I looked up and Hunter’s face was directly in front of me, just inches away. I then kissed his plump red lips once, but before I could turn away, he captured my lower lips between his teeth and started to nibble softly on my sensitive skin.

A moan escaped my moan, making Hunt groan in turn. 

“H-Hunter?” 

“Yeah baby?” 

“What more do I not know about you other than that you’re a smoker?” I asked. I just want to know him better like he came to know me.

“It’s a rather long story Jay. My life I mean.” He muttered.

“We have nothing to do other than sit here right?” I said.

So we relaxed on the bed which came to know many of our secrets over the past few days, and prepared ourselves for talking.

“Well Jason, I will tell you everything about my life. Promise me you’ll be silent through all of this and never interrupt.” He said.

“I promise, just talk.” I said.

“Okay, so I have three sisters who I can’t live without. I love them so much and they are my sunshine. About two years ago, we all used to live in Bradford, but not this part of it where I’m living in now. We were on the total far opposite part of it actually. You may not believe me, but back then I used to get beaten up just like you Jay. No, not by my father nor by people at school.”

I couldn’t believe what he was telling me! Who used to hit him? Oh my God! I can’t picture Hunter getting beaten.

He stopped and took a long shaky breath before he continued, “B-by my own boyfriend.”

What?! His boyfriend? How could he hit Hunter? And now the way Hunter looked so vulnerable and hurt revealed to me a new side of him. This was a side when he lets his guard to slip away. This was the real Hunter.

“I used to love him before I even talked to him. He was special to me, so special. One day, he was sad and angry so I decided to finally talk to him and since that time we never left each other again; but off course no one knew about us. However, Liam turned out to be possessive and aggressive until one day he hit my head against the wall and I ended up at the hospital. A-after everything, Liam turned out to have schizophrenia Jason a-and he, he k-killed himself after I left him.”

 Oh my God. I can’t believe what I’m hearing now. I don’t know what to tell Hunter.

I felt a tear fall on my head. I looked up to see Hunter crying. He was crying.

I was quick to wipe his precious tears away, and this time it was me who kissed his nose.

“Don’t cry baby please.” I muttered.

He just smiled and kissed my temple. “I’m fine babe. Don’t worry; it’s just that the memories are painful.” He said.

“Let’s change the subject. Don’t you want my number angel?” 

//Hunter//

It was hard to finally speak of all of my past for the first time ever. But I’m glad I told Jason about everything because it relieved me.

Nick and Toby bought me another number yesterday and sent it to me, so I changed the subject of my old life to give my angel my number.

“Off course I want your number Hunt.” My love spoke.

I just took his phone and typed my new number there under the name “My baby ^^”.

I smirked when Jason realized what I did and tugged him near to me. I can’t believe he thought I left him. I would never walk out on him.

I don’t want to leave on Saturday either…

//Saturday, two p.m.//

It’s time.

I’m leaving right now to get back home. I walked Jason to his house to make sure he’s safe before I leave. Now, we are standing here in front of his house, our hands intertwined and foreheads pressed against each other.

Jason’s eyes were closed tightly though.

“Angel look at me.” I demanded.

When he finally did, I said, “This was the best week of my entire life. You were the reason why I had a great vacation baby and I don’t regret anything. I-I don’t want to leave you Jay, I’m so scared of leaving you alone. Just, just promise me you’ll take care of yourself and fight them. Fight them for me Jason. For us.”

Jason’s eyes started to water as he wrapped his hands around my neck and snuggled his face in my neck, breathing into my scent.

“I-I promise you H. I will try, for us.” He said in between cries.

“For us.” I said again.

He nodded.

“I promise you we will talk every day and text all night long. Anything for you baby, and when you need me, do not hesitate at all and call me at any time okay?” I said.

“Y-Yes. I’ll miss you so much Hunter. I love you.” He muttered.

“I’ll miss you way more baby. Way more. And I love you so much.” 

With that, I kissed him quickly for the last time; once on his mouth and once on his nose, lingering there for a couple of more seconds, and directly turned around and ran away. I couldn’t look at him right now. I can’t see how hurt he is nor his tear stained face and puffy red eyes. He’s been crying since yesterday night and I couldn’t do anything about it.

Who can blame him?

I’m leaving him here with half a heart. It’s like I left half of my heart- if not all – with him. And I left him displayed to the whole cruel world too.

It’s Goodbye for now. Goodbye to his touch, goodbye to his precious eyes, goodbye to his kisses, to his hugs. 

I will miss you Jason Miller.

Now you can have Helda back…