Hidden In These Walls

10- Kiss Me Better

//Hunter//

I woke up to something hard hitting my side. I could feel something moving next to me so I opened my eyes to meet Jason’s pained face. His eyebrows were scrunched together showing how annoyed he is, and my poor angel was sweating. I could see beads of sweat running down the side of his face.

“N-No, no please stop! P-please!” He was mumbling in his sleep.

“H-Help me!”

It was the most heart-breaking sight I ever witnessed. His voice was so broken, pleading for help. He was scrambling left and right, trying to desperately escape this horrible nightmare. I’m sure he was having a dream about his father.

“Jason!” I whispered while caressing his flushed cheek.

He didn’t wake up, so I repeated my previous action. Then, I put my arms around his shoulders and tugged him closer, cradling him in my safe arms.

“Jason, Jay shh. Wake up babe; it’s just a dream angel. Wake up.” I whispered in his ear. I ran my fingers through his curly hair to sooth him and calm him down.

“Angel, please wake up. It’s just a dream. You’re safe.” I muttered.

Suddenly, his fists started to connect with my hard chest, sending me off guard. “No, get away from me! Leave me alone! I didn’t kill him! Please don’t hurt me!” He started to yell while kicking and thrashing in attempt to get away from my hold on him.

“Jason! Jason, look at me baby. It’s just me, I won’t hurt you. You’re safe with me okay? It’s just me.” I said after hugging him closer to my body. I ran my hands from his curls to his back, caressing it softly.

“H-Hunter?” He asked, trying to calm his fast breathing.

“Yes, it’s me angel. Relax, it was just a dream.” I whispered against his exposed neck.

“Please don’t leave me, Hunter. Please don’t leave me with him; he wants to kill me, Hunter. Don’t let him hurt me.” He pleaded while tightening his hold on my waist.

“I won’t let him hurt you, baby. I’m here, not going anywhere.” I reassured him even though I am one pathetic liar. I don’t know how I’m going to tell him that I’m leaving after a couple of days. He’ll be scared and afraid again of being all alone, with no one to look after him and help him survive this town’s sinful thoughts and actions.

I kissed his neck and then wiped his tears away. “Stop crying. This face should only smile and laugh. When you’re with me, I never want to see you shed a tear. Okay?”

He just nodded and pushed his face further into my neck. I could feel his soft cold lips against my skin, making tingles erupt through my whole body.

“Thank you. I could never make up to anything you’re doing for me. I’m so happy I met you, Hunter.” His raspy husky voice flooded through the walls of the room. The way his lips moved against my skin was driving me crazy. I was really fighting too hard to control myself.

You won’t be so happy when you know who I truly am. A liar.

I tightened my grasp on his shoulders and kissed his forehead, “I’m the one who is happy because I decided to come here. You have no idea how much I’m happy to have you here right now.” I mumbled.

“Me too.” He muttered.

I love you.

I desperately wanted to say those three words, but I didn’t want to freak him out. If I say them, he’ll think that if he doesn’t share the same feelings, I would leave him. And I most definitely don’t want him to think in that way. I’m fine with having him here with me as a friend than knowing I won’t ever have him as a boyfriend.

“What time is it?” He asked.

I looked at the clock on the night stand by the bed to see it was around two in the afternoon.

“Two pm.” I answered.

He just nodded. “Sorry for keeping you here with me when you obviously came here on a vacation.” He freaking apologized again.  If he only knew that he is the reason I’m here in the first place.

Wait, he said vacation. Then, he should know that I’ll be leaving soon.

“Angel?”

“Hmm?”

“You do know that I would be heading back home soon, right?” I asked him, my eyes closed, waiting for his reaction.

I felt him tense in my arms as he took a long sharp breath and let it out. “I-I know.”

I played with his curls, curling them around my finger. “But I really don’t want to leave you.” I declared.

“But you have to.” He said.

“I have to.” I confirmed.

“When?” He asked, shakily.

“Saturday.”

“After five days.” He said.

I nodded. I really couldn't say anything at the moment.

“Well, five days with you are better than none.” He muttered.

I smiled at his innocent words and asked, “What do you want to do now?”

“I don’t know. I don’t really go anywhere so…” He replied.

“Um, I’m hungry. Do you know any nice restaurants around here?” I asked.

Jason suddenly gulped and after a few minutes he answered, “Y-Yeah, there is a small pizza place around the corner.”

“Brilliant! Let’s go! If you want, you can take a shower first and relax after your um dream and then we can leave.” I said.

“Okay, thanks.” He said, but his mood suddenly changed. He looked like he wasn't so excited to go out at all.

“Hey, what’s wrong? If you don’t want to go out, it’s fine; we can stay here. But I thought we could get out of this room and have some fun.” I said.

“I-It’s just that, I don't want people to talk about you, Hunter. I would feel guilty and-

“If this is the reason, then I'm not buying it. We’re going out so get ready.” I interrupted him. He said he’d feel guilty from the mere thought of people murmuring useless words about me! Imagine the guilt I'm feeling for everything then!

“Uh, actually there is another reason.” He said.

I gestured for him to continue.

“The pizza place. Well, they hate me so much. Um, the owner’s son was my best friend previously, but after he heard what I did; which I didn't, he hated me.” He continued.

I can’t believe this! Even his best friend left him? I swear to God this town is crazy! It’s going to turn me crazy as well!

“Well, if they even dare utter a simple bloody word towards you, they’ll regret it.” I assured him.

“Hunter, I don’t want you to get in trouble because of me!” Jason blurted.

“And I already told you that I don’t give a s**t about trouble. If I have to beat them up for you, then I would!” I answered.

Jason shook his head and then sighed. “I wouldn't be able to ever change your mind, would I?” He asked.

“Never.”

//Jason//

I couldn't stop the tingles that ran through my spine when he held me the way he did. When he kissed my neck, I couldn't suppress the shudder which invaded my body. His kiss felt so right, like his lips were meant to be on my skin. And oddly, I wanted to feel more of his warm tingly kisses.

No! Wake up Jason! You are straight! Hunter is a guy, so stop thinking in that way. He is just your friend.

Ugh, but why did it feel so right?

I felt so safe with him, like no one could ever reach me and hurt me. He was someone special and I didn't want to lose him.

But he’s leaving. My mind kept on repeating those three words. He will be leaving on Saturday and I would be all alone once again, getting some beating from Damon, Luke, Shane, and mostly dad.

Will I ever see him again? Do I want to see him again?

Yes I do. If it was up to me, I wouldn't even let him leave.

But why am I feeling this now? He is a freaking guy and I’m a guy too; yet, I want to hug him and touch him and k-kiss him?

Does that mean I'm gay now?

No, this means that I'm loving the attention, the feeling of being cared for. That’s it, yep.

“Now come on, go get ready already!” He ordered, and who am I to decline?

I reluctantly moved my body away from his and stood up and out of bed.

“Wait!” Hunt stopped me.

“What?”

“Take your shirt off.” He ordered.

I stood there, dumbfounded. “W-What?!”

“I want to check your bruises, just take it off.” He said.

“B-but why?” I asked, confused.

“Oh, for God’s sake Jason!” He snapped and quickly grasped the hem of my shirt and lifted it up and over my head.

“Hey!” I yelled while covering my torso with my hands.

“Just let me examine them okay? I want to make sure you’re fine angel.” He said calmly.

I looked into his hazel eyes and saw how much he truly cared about my bruises. He is genuinely concerned about me.

I gulped as I moved my hands away to reveal my whole chest and abdomen. His eyes directly darted to my body, making be feel uncomfortable. I’m ugly and he is seeing how bad I look like. I don’t want him to see that.

So I turned and ran towards the bathroom, closing the door behind me and locking it.

“Jason! Come on, just open the door. Why did you run away?” He was talking to me from behind the door.

I stared at myself in the opposite mirror and felt the tears threatening to spill out of my dull eyes at any minute. I am ugly and always will be.

“Angel, please answer me. Open the door.” He pleaded.

“N-No, I don’t want you to see me like that. I-I'm ugly.” The tears finally ran down my flushed cheeks.

“Are you crying?! Jason, open the damned door or I swear to God I will break it down!”  Judging by the tone of his voice, he was serious.

 I placed my shaking hand on the door knob and closed my eyes. After a few seconds, I opened the door; my eyes still closed.

I felt two hands cupping both of my cheeks and wiping my tears away. And then, my heart just stopped; or did it go overdrive? I don’t even know.

I felt him press his lips onto my own, lightly at first; like he is afraid he might hurt me. They were soft, grazing against my own cold ones. After he acknowledged that I wasn't pushing him away, his wavering lips pressed harder to mine; his hands travelling to the back of my head, running his fingers through my curls. I slipped my hand to the back of his neck, pulling him closer. Our lips rubbed against each other in perfect harmony. The kiss was sweet and passionate.

What was I doing? Why did I kiss him back?

It feels right.

But then, his tongue traced my lips, prying my mouth open slightly as his teeth grazed my lower lip, nibbling on it teasingly. So, I broke the kiss. This was too much for me to suppress.

“You're beautiful, Jason. Don’t ever think that you’re ugly because those bruises aren't you. Don’t let them change your mind about yourself angel. You’re beautiful.” He breathed out, his lips still so close, moving against my own. I could feel his warm breath fanning my face, making me shudder.

“I…W-What was that?” I was at a loss for words.

“Oh, I'm sorry?” He apologized, but it sounded like a question.

“I-I don’t know.” I muttered.

“Did you like it?” He asked, while cupping my cheek again.

I stared at his plump red lips and felt this urge to kiss him again. I guess this means I did like it, right?

My eyes kept on darting back and forth, from his lips to meet his eyes and then his lips again. I didn't know what to do then. I felt helpless, in a daze.

He griped both of my arms all of a sudden, and tugged me closer to him again. “Kiss me already.” He whispered seductively, sending shivers down my body.

I felt my heart pounding in my chest, I was sure he could hear and count the rapid heartbeats. Then, our lips connected yet again, pushing harder against each other this time. Our lips seemed to slot together in a perfect pair, Hunter’s lips being soft but hard at the same time, as he pushed more against my lips. I wrapped my hands around his neck, while his remained caressing my arms.

He started to nibble on my lower lip like before, trying to part my lips and I let him. However, as his tongue entered my welcoming mouth, it didn't last longer than a second.

“What’s that?!” Hunter broke the kiss to stare at my arms, his fingers lingering over my scars.

“O-Oh, um it’s nothing.” I said, in a low voice.

“Did you do those, Jason?” He asked, looking me straight in the eyes.

I nodded. “Yes, but I stopped when Helda talked to me.” I said quickly.

“You shouldn't have started from the beginning.” He spoke so slowly, so I got the impression that he is angry.

“I-I couldn't help it okay?! You’re not the one who’s been suffering at home for four years. You’re not the one who has to live with his family who hates him. You don’t know how much I feel worthless, like I shouldn't have been born in the first place. They always make me feel like I deserve to die instead of my brother. They make me feel guilty. And that’s why I do it. You can’t just be angry at me now!” I screamed at Hunter even though it’s not his fault.  

“Shh baby, I'm sorry. Please calm down.” He whispered, engulfing me in a hug, his hands sliding against my naked torso.

I didn't realize that I was shaking until now, so I forced myself to relax in his arms and took a long calming breath.

“I'm sorry. I have no right to be angry at you. I'm so sorry angel.” He kept on apologizing.

“It’s fine. I got to take a shower now.” I said, while untangling myself from his grip.

He just nodded and exited the bathroom, leaving me alone.

After I got out, we headed out of the hotel and on to the street with me leading the way. I remember when I used to walk those streets with my best friend Jared. We would be so excited to get to his father’s restaurant to stuff our faces with delicious pizza. We really were inseparable. Too bad I didn’t know what kind of a friend he is back then.

“You’re still mad?” Hunter interrupted my thoughts.

I looked up at him to see his pouting lips and furrowed eyebrows. He looked so cute at this moment so I couldn’t suppress my laugh.

“Hey! What are you laughing at?!” He yelled, but it was obvious he was joking by the funny look on his face.

After my laughter finally subsided, Hunter grinned and then pecked my lips quickly. My eyes widened at the realization that he kissed me in public, so I quickly backed away from him and started walking again.

“Don’t kiss me in public Hunt!  Everyone would see that and I can’t afford the chit chat that will come after.” I said.

“Oh, then I can kiss you when we’re alone right?” He asked, a smirk forming on his pouty lips.

I could feel the blush forming on my cheeks, so I avoided any eye contact with him and I didn’t answer him.

A couple of minutes later, we arrived at the destined place. I looked inside to see Jared helping his dad and delivering the plates to their clients on the tables. I had this sudden urge to turn around and head back to the hotel, but I felt Hunter’s hand around my shoulder which made me relax a little.

I have Hunter.

Hunter pushed the door for me and I entered with him following behind. The slight “ding” sound was heard by everyone in the restaurant, so everybody was staring at me now. The damned boy just entered a public place.

Hunter led me to a table in the corner of the place and we sat down facing each other.

“You didn’t answer my question.” Hunter stated. He was leaning back in his chair, staring at me with those beautiful eyes of his. Wow there, beautiful?

Well, they are…

“Uh, what question?” I faked dumb.

Hunter put on his playful smirk, and just when he was about to answer, someone interrupted our conversation.

“Well, well, well. Look who decided to show himself. Is this guy here your next kill?” Jared sneered.

I glared at him, wanting to scream in his face, but I know I couldn’t. Everyone would stand against me if I did.

“What? Cat cut your tongue? Did I blurt your mission out loud? Abort mission, abort mission.” He was making fun of me and I was hurt. I can’t believe he of all people would mock me like that. He was like Mason, my second brother.

And then, in just a blink of an eye, Jared was sprawled on the floor with Hunter’s fist connecting with his face.

“Hunter! Stop it! He’s not worth it! Just move away from him!” I yelled while clutching onto Hunter’s waist from behind and tugging him backwards towards me.

“Just leave me, Jason! Who the hell does he think he is?!” His loud voice boomed inside this small pizza place.

I turned him around and placed my palm on his stubble full cheek, making him look at me. I then kissed his jaw in attempt to calm him down, and thankfully it did.

“Just calm down.” I muttered.

He engulfed me in a tight hug before he released me and said, “I’m going to head to the toilets, I’ll be back in five.”

He gave a last warning glare to Jared and left.

“So, you’ve become a pathetic queer now?” Jared asked; his tone bitter. I didn’t even bother answering and just stared at the table in front of me.

“Answer me you freaking damned boy!” He yelled while grasping my shoulders to make me look at him. I just glared at him, shooting daggers into his stupid face.

The next thing I know, he started punching me making me fall to the floor at the impact.

“I have no old friends as fags!” He boomed.

He started kicking my stomach and legs and shoulders non-stop.

Hunter.

I winced as his foot connected with my head, making my vision turn blurry. The last thing I heard before I blacked out was Hunter screaming my name.

//Hunter//

“Jason! Jason, wake up angel! Jason, please open your eyes!” I pleaded for Jay to wake up and tell me he is fine, but he didn’t. He looked lifeless, lying here on the hard cold ground. I felt helpless myself, looking at him and knowing there is nothing I could do. It’s my entire fault. I was the one who left him all alone with these cruel heartless people.

I was sitting on my knees next to him, caressing his face and kissing his forehead.

I looked up at his ex-best friend, wanting to rip his throat out and beat him till he was finally dead. But, Jason needed me. I already let him down once, I won’t do it again.

“You should be ashamed of yourself. Keep your eyes open because you don’t know what you just got yourself into.” I spoke, my voice so low and steady, ready to erupt at any second.

My heart was beating erratically as I placed my arms under my baby’s lifeless body and picked him up. I tugged him tighter against my chest and started walking out of this stinking place.

People stared at me as I walked down the street with Jason placed in my arms.

If Jason doesn’t wake up today, I don’t know how I’m going to live with myself. It’s my entire fault, I shouldn’t have left him!

And now, it was the first time I let my tears run down my face since I met Jason. I let my guard down because I couldn’t stand looking at my love in that way. He was hurt, he was bleeding.

In one way or another, they will pay.

They all will.