Hidden In These Walls

5- Mixed Feelings and Unanswered Questions [Part 2]

//Jason//

I heard my door being opened roughly that it bumped into the wall behind with a loud thump. I could hear his approaching footsteps, arriving so slowly, one at a time until they stand still in front of my weak fragile figure.  

Pain seems to be the reason why I live now. Is it weird if I say that without pain, my life feels kind of wrong? It’s just that pain became a huge part of my life that I find it hard not to have it at all. Call me suicidal, but that’s the truth.

So that’s what I did. I let the pain reach every single part of my body until I blacked out under the merciless hands of my father when I could hear the fading sounds of his shouting, saying how I deserve to die and all the usual painful stuff he says.

I blacked out as the last thought that came to my mind was, please let me die.

“Ughh” I groaned as I felt a huge weight on my body. It’s like I couldn’t move at all and if I try, pain will directly shoot through my whole body. 

I felt something soft caressing my forehead, which made me open my green eyes to find out what it could be. As soon as I saw a hand in my plain of vision, I flinched and tried to move backwards away from whoever is trying to hurt me; which in turn caused every single inch of my body to ache, earning a whimper out of my mouth.

“Hey, relax. It’s just me, I won’t hurt you.” I heard the voice of non-other than my sister.

I looked up to meet her eyes. “E-emma?” I was shocked to see her here.

“Don’t act so surprised and don’t think too much into this. I’m just here because you blacked out and there wasn’t anyone willing to help you out other than me. Other than that, you wouldn’t even see me here.” She quickly explained.

To say I was hurt is an understatement.

“W-What happened?” I asked. 

I was now lying on my bed and I could swear that the last thing I remember was me sprawled on the bedroom floor, gasping for air after each one of dad’s blows.

“After you blacked out Friday night, I- with a lot of struggling- carried you to your bed. Then I just took a look at your wounds and they seemed fine to me, but you wouldn’t even wake up. It’s now that you finally opened your eyes.” She said.

What does she mean by now? For how long have I been sleeping? 

“What do you mean now? For how long-“ 

“It’s Sunday, Jason.” She just said that with a sad smile and walked out of my room; but before she closed the door she said, “And take a look at your stupid phone, will you? It hasn’t stopped beeping for two days!”

Sunday? It’s been two days?! He really went overboard with the beating this time because I never blacked out for such a long period of time. I guess I was really exhausted and needed to shut my body off for some time.

My phone? Who could it be? Is it Helda?

I looked at my nightstand to see my phone there. After much of struggling and groaning, I finally had it in my hands. I was shocked to see that I had over twenty messages, all from her. Mostly, they all said that she was really worried and pleading for me to say something so that she knows I’m fine.

So, I dug deep into my brain to think of suitable words to reply to her. It was hard because I wasn’t so sure if I can trust her with everything. But on the other hand, she did live far away from me and it’s not like I will ever see her. Maybe I can turn my misery into words and send them to Helda after all. 

Maybe.

//Hunter//

He didn’t reply again after I sent him my message, and this left me restless. I couldn’t even close my eyes to try and sleep that night, knowing that Jason might be in deep trouble. 

Morning came by and I was still sitting on my bed, holding this stinking piece of technology, waiting for my angel to reply; but he didn’t.

 I got up and plugged my phone in the charger then entered my bathroom to take a relaxing shower before it’s time to school.

After that, I put on clothes that brings out the bad boy image and fixed my quiff to match perfection. However, looking in the mirror, I noticed that I have bloodshot eyes from the lack of sleep. So, I put on a pair of black sunglasses to avoid questions from my friends which have no reasonable answers.

I put my phone in my back pocket and ran downstairs. 

“Huntie! Are you still taking me out today like you promised yesterday?” My baby girl asked.

I bent down and scooped her in my arms with a tight hug. “Sure, I’ll tell mom that I’ll pick you up from your school to take you with me directly. What do you say?” 

She just nodded eagerly and started yawning. I just have the cutest little sister ever don’t I? I kissed her forehead and placed her back down then talked to mom and agreed about everything. After that, I turned my motorbike on and drove to school.

Since mom didn’t agree on the idea of Sofia with me on the motorcycle, I’m going to have to go home later to get her so that we go buy her what she wants. I just want this day to end already.

I parked my bike in the nearest parking spot and walked through the school doors. I wonder if I will ever see Jason, like face to face. I bet a million dollars that he is beautiful the same way he sounds. Ugh, right now I should worry more about his condition, not the way he looks like!

I was too wrapped up in my thoughts that I didn’t notice Toby trying to speak to me. 

“Hunter! Hunt, are you alright man?! I’ve been talking to you for like five minutes now!” He said.

“Uh, yeah, yeah I’m good.” I replied.

“Uh-huh. I don’t know why I’m not believing that.” T retorted.

“Just forget about it!” I snapped. Toby flinched at my sudden change in tone, instantly making me feel guilty.

“I’m sorry T, I just have too much stuff going on.” I apologized.

“It’s fine Hunt. Come on let’s find Nick and head to first period.”

By the time lunch break came around, I was practically giving up on life. I just can’t take this slow day anymore or maybe it’s just the fact that Jason never replied that’s keeping me on edge. I don’t know anymore.

I am now sitting with Toby and Nick at our usual table when that b***h appeared again from behind me. I felt her bend down to reach my ear level and whisper, “So babe, won’t you ever change your mind about me?”

Now this finally made me lose my cool and snap. She just pushed my last button.

“Listen here Grande, this is one of those days when I won’t mind hitting a girl; especially if that girl is you so you either back off which let me tell you is the right thing to do, or let me show you who the real Hunter Jones is! So, what do you choose?!” I boomed at her in the middle of the cafeteria. 

She stared back at me with fear so evident in her eyes, and then ran away with tears streaming down her face.

“Hunter, man what’s up with you today?” Nick asked.

“Just, just leave me alone!” I said and quickly stormed out of the cafeteria and all the way to the back of the school to sit there under the school’s famous huge tree.

I took my phone out and started to type a message.

-Angel, please answer me. You’re making me sick with worry! Just at least let me know if you’re fine.

After that, I found myself finally heading home to get Sofia. However, I wasn’t so excited for our day out together like I was yesterday. It didn’t feel right.

It was seven pm when Sofia and I finally came back home. She was satisfied by her magazine, candies, chocolate, and every goody she might ever need for a week; and I was so tired, I could probably sleep for a whole month.

So, after surprising Haley with the magazine I bought her and after receiving lots of sisterly kisses from her, I slumped down on my bed; willing sleep to kidnap me towards the land of darkness.

I woke up early on Saturday morning and my mind directly slipped to my phone. I reached out for it and saw that I had no messages. After that, I couldn’t even act like I’m happy cause I was so worried, so worried Jason might be dead. I kept on dodging all the questions from my parents and sisters, not having an answer to any of them. And, by the time nighttime rolled by, I was lying on my bed willing sleep to kidnap me yet again.

Me:-Jason, my angel. I need to tell you something.

Him:- What is it Helda?

Me:-This is actually a confession. I just want to say that I’m so sorry for lying to you about this and I’m sorry for telling you this now after everything that happened. Jason, I’m actually a boy and my name is Hunter Jones. I didn’t tell you that before because I was afraid you wouldn’t want to talk to me when I really wanted to talk to you. Angel, I’m really sorry…

Him:- What?! How could you lie to me all this time?! I thought you said you loved me! I thought you were the only person who was true to me. I thought you really cared! 

Me:-But I do care Jason! I do love you! That’s why I lied. I’m such a selfish bastard who wanted to talk to you and didn’t tell you the truth when you deserved nothing but the truth! Jason, please forgive me! I really love you! I love you so much it hurts!

Him:-No! Stop lying to me! How could you say that?! Just, don’t ever talk to me again!

“No!” I shot up in my bed. I was sweating and I could feel the cover sticking to my body.

I looked around me, searching for my phone to see it laying on the nightstand next to me. This was just a dream? A nightmare?  Oh, thank God! I couldn’t handle it if it was real!

I confessed to Jason and the result was really bad. This left me thinking of whether I was doing the right thing or not. Maybe hiding the truth isn’t so useful after all. Maybe this will lead to further problems that I don’t want to get into.

Maybe I should tell Jason everything.

And that’s when I finally heard my phone vibrate on this fine yet scary Sunday morning.