a dark shade of green

he cared

Every day I had something to look forward to.

My math class.

Truly I never thought I'd be excited for a math class. I could have whatever I wanted like money, and things, but as of right now I just wanted a boy to turn and look at me for longer than 2 seconds.

We didn't have assigned seats, and there were other places available some days, but he still chose to sit on my left side in the same spot.

Now the thought that he could just be pitying the lonely prince, who didn't have someone to sit with in the class.

Did cross my mind, but even if I didn't make it to the classroom before him. He would sit at our table.

Maybe him showing the slightest bit of interest in me has gone to my head, but honestly.

Some days when I walk into the class, it looks as if he was watching the door waiting for me.

I know I've gone mad.

But the thought is nice.

Practice was killing me each morning; besides on weekends, we had to wake up at 6 am and run a mile.

Then proceed to spend the whole entirety of practice being screamed at by Xaden. If I had a dungeon in my castle, I'd throw him in it in a heartbeat.

It was late and my eyes felt heavy with the sleepiness, I check the time 11:20 pm.

but instead of sleeping I lay awake in my bed. my hands ached from holding my crosse but also from that bad habit of mine.

I was going to have to break it if I wanted to continue playing.

But even though practice and classes had drained the energy from me. For some reason I wasn't resting my mind was racing.

I get up, pulling on some grey sweatpants and a large oversized crew neck.

I look myself over and shake out my wet hair from my shower I had just taken and slowly creep out my door, latching it as quietly as I could.

The dorm's bedtime was at 10 pm, but it wasn't strictly monitored. It's not like we could get off campus with all the security or into the girls dorms.

I didn't want to wake any of the other boys.

Some have tried to be nice and make friends with me, but I can never figure out if it's because they like me or my title.

Preferably I'd rather not chance getting the answer wrong.

Walking past a door, I hear the sound of video games making me jump slightly.

Casting my eyes over my shoulder in the empty hall just to make sure I was still alone. I make my way to the dining room.

The boys personal kitchen was connected through another door at the end of the dining room. At breakfast and dinner, they always carried our plates out of it. Letting me catch a glimpse of the large, fully equipped kitchen.

I walk as lightly as possible down the length of the long wooden table.

Opening the door to the kitchen, I slide in without a single sound, leaving it slightly cracked behind me. Sneaking out at home had prepared me for moments like this.

Going to the icebox, I open it and grab a piece with my bare hands, gripping it in my palm.

I exhale a sigh of relief at the cold.

"What are you doing?"

I hear out of the silent air.

Making me yell and clutch my chest. I whip around, my heart about to pound right out of my chest.

"f**k!"

I curse putting my other hand on the metal countertop to balance myself.

Alex stood in the doorway of the kitchen. Looking ever so innocent even though he just scared me so bad I felt like I could have passed away on the spot.

"Holy s**t, Alex, you can't creep up on a prince like that. You have to announce yourself."

I scold him, dropping my hand back to my side.

"What are you doing with the ice?"

He nods his head to the ice chest that was behind me.

I look down and see the water dripping from my closed fingers, a slight tinge of red to it from the open wounds.

"Oh, I had a blister... What are you doing up? Shouldn't you be sleeping? It's past 10:00 pm."

I lie to him, moving my hands behind my back to block a clear view.

"I heard your door open."

He slowly approaches me, his voice low.

"Sorry. I just couldn't sleep, I guess."

I move uncomfortable knowing the attention was on my hands. All of my secrets at the tip of his fingers.

When he gets closer, I reach for a paper towel to dry my hand and hide the liquid that ran down my wrist. But he grabs my arm, pulling me to him.

"Alex."

I say warning in my tone.

I could have pulled away, but something in me made me stay put. It could have been the way

He looks up at me through those dark lashes of his.

Even though he heard my warning loud and clear. His other hand still hovered above mine for a second, deciding his choice.

I knew what he was doing and how weak and vulnerable it would make me seem but I didn't stop him.

I let him peel back my fingers. Opening up my palm to him, I couldn't look away from him as his eyes took in all of the old scars and fresh new ones.

I knew what my palms looked like, and they resembled nothing of a blister.

The slight gasp he gave made my skin crawl. I ripped back, turning around to the ice chest. Trying to fill the air that had now changed around us, I start to speak.

"It's late. You should go to sleep."

"You're hurt."

"No, I'm not."

I say scooping some ice in one of the cups for me to take back to my room.

"Yes, you are Nicoli."

I stopped at my name; he said it in a way that sounded soft and delicate. No one calls my name like that.

"Is your other hand like that too?"

He asks, reaching around me for my other wrist.

I push away from him. Not wanting him to see the other one that was just as bad, if not worse.

He falters a step backwards. I felt bad for pushing him, but letting him see at my other hand would do neither of us any good.

"It is late, Alex. I'm going back to my room. You should do the same."

He sighs, ruffling his curls.

"At least... be smart, Nicoli."

He huffs, walking over and searching in the cabinets.

I watch him as he grabs out a clean washcloth. Taking my cup from my hand, he dumps the ice into it.

Wrapping the melting ice cubes up neatly.

I watch with curiosity.

"What are you—"

I stop talking mid-sentence as he grabbed my wrist again, opening up my palm his touch gentle. And his nimble fingers soft against my rough calloused skin.

He places the clothed ice over the ugly crescent shapes littered across my palms.

"Treat yourself nicely while you're hurt. It was barbaric to put the ice straight on them like that."

I study Alex as he lifts the ice. Checking that my hand was okay before setting it back down.

He's taking care of me like he cared. It made me feel delusional to see him use the sleeve of his pullover to wipe away the remaining streaks that ran down my arm.

I was hallucinating.

"I do treat myself nicely."

I say just barely above a whisper. Needing him to say something back and prove he was real and actually this close to me in proximity. I could hear his heartbeat and smell his smell.

"Does this look nice to you? Hurting yourself and then playing a sport that you don't even enjoy to make it worse."

What he said felt like it had burned me, and his hand was a steaming hot iron. I rip away from him. Taking the ice off, I set it on the counter.

I couldn't stand the cold anymore, the pain in my hand was what I wanted.

"I am fine. No need to make it a bigger deal than it is."

I squeeze my hands closed holding in a wince at the red hot feeling.

"The prince being hurt is a big deal."

He says louder than he should have, my eyes shooting to his. He purposely chose to use the prince instead of Nicoli. If he was anybody else I would have yelled by now. Asked them where they had the audacity, to ever think of talking to royalty in such a way they knew would make them mad.

The content feeling I had felt dissipated fully by his presence.

I was laid bare to him and he knew it.

"Go to bed, Alex."

I said, my voice holding no emotion as I walked away to leave the kitchen.

"Nicoli, wait."

He tried, but I didn't care or listen.

"The prince is tired, and the prince wants to go to bed now, so that is exactly what the prince is going to do."

I hope what I had wanted to communicate came across. My childish take on the conversation is not how I wanted it play out.

But in the moment I'm glad I hadn't said more.

Leaving him in the kitchen was the best choice for me to make.

quickly returning back to my room. I put on headphones as I lay in bed so I wouldn't hear when he went back into his room.

I didn't want to think anymore, just sleep.

Turning the volume up to full blast. I close my eyes and wait until slumber overcame me.

Wanting what I shouldn't have has never treated me kindly before. I don't know why I expected anything different now.