Chapter one: Where rage was born

1749 Words
I was slowly spinning side to side in my desk chair at work, clicking my pen. My boss Matilda had put me on desk duty for a month because I’d accidentally killed a mutt she wanted to be caught for trafficking women, I told her it was an accident, but she didn’t believe me, whether it had been or not, I’d leave for you to interpret. It was f.ucking boring sitting here doing jack s.hit while Rose and Nick got to do the fun s.hit. You ever sit there sometimes and think back on what the f.uck you’d done in your life? I was doing that now, Fenris and Romulus always joked about mum dropping me on my head for the reason I was so f.ucked up, wasn’t true, though. I’d disappeared for two weeks once, never told them the truth about where I’d been or what had happened, I don’t know why. I had just turned ten and was playing in the woods on our property, it should have been safe, no one else should have f.ucking been there. I think I was being an absolute prat, prancing around and pretending I was in wolf form or something, I couldn’t change yet, but I was excited for the day. Some big creep of a dude had grabbed me and without my werewolf abilities yet kicked in, no amount of kicking and flailing helped. The creepiest part was how close he lived to us, I think he only drove for about fifteen minutes before he was parking up in some rundown looking house, the closest neighbour was twenty feet away. I made it as difficult as possible for him as he carried me in, kicking and squirming and trying to bite him. He threw me in a cage and locked it. You would think that would both shock and terrify me, but we had our own big cage at home for werewolves, this man wasn’t a werewolf though, I knew he was just a human, but I was too young to understand why he would need a cage. His house was a s.hit hole, it stank of rotting food and dirt and f.uck knew what else. He lived like a hoarder, piles of rubbish and items towering all over the place. A few days later he returned home with another child, a little girl, and threw her in next to me. I could still picture her now, clear as day, a beautiful blonde and blue-eyed girl, eyes wide with terror, tears running down her face, when she had seen me looking calm, she huddled next to me as if I could protect her, I couldn’t, I was as powerless and helpless as she was, but if it made her feel better I’d play the part. I sat her down on the floor next to me and put my arm around her shoulders to try and make her feel safe. It worked for a few hours, but then the disgusting man with greasy brown balding hair and a beer belly had came and grabbed her from the cage, I tried fighting him, tried keeping her with me, but he pushed me hard enough the back of my head smacked against the bar as I fell. I don’t want to describe the things I heard as he took her in another room. I covered my ears and tried my best not to hear it, tried my best to ignore his promise that I’d have my turn with him after. The fear and trauma broke something inside of me, the trauma brought on my change early, and I clung to it like a safety line, I embraced the wolf, in fact, I embraced it so much, I felt part of my humanity slip away. It’s not something I could really explain, I think as some sort of survival I cut away more of my humanity than was normal, leaving me more wolf, helping me be less empathic and more logical. When the change took me over I had to grit my teeth and growl and cry out as quietly as possible, I knew if I didn’t I’d be dead if he caught me, nothing worse than a terrified human who doesn’t know what the f.uck you are. When the change was over, I lay there, exhausted and feeling a strange thrill I didn’t understand as the last waves of pain left me. I understood now, I’d clung to that pain, knowing it could save my life if I could complete the change, I guess some part of my subconscious remembered the euphoria and thrill at having done it, I don’t f.ucking know, all I know is that was how my love for pain developed. I had enough time to shift back before he returned, so I did, I wanted to wait for a good opportunity where I could save the girl too. I couldn’t leave her. As a young wolf, I found out I was slim enough I could just about slip through the bars, I already had a plan forming, I’d shift to my wolf, slip through and then change back so I could unlock it for the girl, she’d see everything, but it was the best I could come up with. When he brought her back in she was different, quiet, withdrawn, her eyes looked haunted and something came over me. Rage. How dare this f.ucking, disgusting monster take us to use however he saw fit. He hadn’t touched me yet, and there was no way in hell I was letting him. I’d die first. It was into the second week when I got my chance, I’d slowly been hinting at the girl about what I was, just to help the shock when she saw me change, It was usually a very private thing mum was always saying, but I didn’t have that luxury. “You’re going to turn into a wolf?” She whispered. “Yes, so don’t be scared when I do, ok? I won’t hurt you, I promise, just think of me like a fluffy puppy or something.” She giggled and nodded, “ok.” I got down to prepare for the change and then added, “it’s not pretty, you might want to close your eyes or something.” She turned her back on me, and I was glad, I didn’t really care much myself, maybe I was too young to, but I knew it would freak her the hell out to see it. It was better this way. When I was done, I nudged the back of her leg with my nose. She turned around and grinned. “This is so cool! I want to be a wolf too, can I? Oh wait, you can’t talk, can you?” I gave a soft friendly whine and she smiled. I slipped out of the bars, and then I had to force myself through the change again, it felt more painful doing it again, so soon, but I had to, we didn’t have much time. He was asleep upstairs, but every two hours he would set an alarm and come down to check on us. The keys were where he always left them, hanging up on a small hook on the wall. I unlocked the cage as quietly as I could, but it was creaky, and it made noise as I pulled it open. The man was a light sleeper, of course he heard it, I took the girl’s hand, and we ran as the sound of his footsteps came hammering down the stairs. We made it outside onto the grass, I don’t know what that man had been in his life, but he had a f.ucking silencer on his gun, he fired, it hit Rosie in the back, and she fell to the floor instantly dead. I still checked her pulse in case, by some miracle, she was alive, she wasn’t. I cried out in anguish, how dare he, how f.ucking dare he! Rage like I’d never known took me over, a darkness I couldn’t explain, all I knew was that it took any last innocence in me away. I turned back to him, he hadn’t been expecting that, I flew towards him as fast as I could, he fired his gun, but I had my wolf abilities now, I was able to hear the sound in the barrel even with his silencer as he fired off a round, I was also more agile, more fast. I managed to dodge, but knew listening for that small click as he pulled the trigger was the most important part, it gave me time to dodge a second before the bullet left the gun. I was still a kid, stronger than a normal human kid, but still a kid, I don’t know how I did it, but I launched myself at this massive monster and tore into his neck, I was thinking purely on animal instinct at this point, needed to tear his throat out. He yelled and stumbled back, trying to get me off, the harder he pulled at me the harder I bit down, so that when he finally prised me off, he helped me finish the job, a chunk of his throat came away with me in his mouth. He saw it, eyes widening in horror, and then he collapsed, more likely from shock, he wasn’t dead just yet. I grabbed the pen knife from his left pocket, the one he always enjoyed tormenting us with, threatening to use it on us, or describing what he’d do with it on us. I opened it up and started stabbing him in rage and fury, I think I was crying, I felt like a f.ucking failure that I hadn’t been able to save Rosie. Hated it, vowed to never again let a f.ucking monster hurt an innocent, I’d grow strong and make sure that never happened, make sure I never failed again. They say that trauma usually starts off a serial killer, right? A bad childhood, traumatic experiences? I guess you could count this as one, where it all began for me. I was in a frenzy stabbing the man, blood was everywhere, I felt the toughness of his flesh as I pushed the knife in, but I wasn’t afraid, I felt…strange, felt a rush, felt powerful after so long of feeling helpless, more than that, I felt a thrill, felt my d.ick tingle. I liked it.
Free reading for new users
Scan code to download app
Facebookexpand_more
  • author-avatar
    Writer
  • chap_listContents
  • likeADD