The Wolf Within

The Reading

** Lia’s POV **

“Goddess of the Moon, we call you forth to shed your silvery light upon us and protect us as we proceed. Ancestors of ours, of the pack and of the Alpha’s beloved mate; come forth and grant us your wisdom! Speak to us through the cards!” Strega Tali called out to the universe. She waited for a moment with her eyes closed, and inhaled slowly.

Her eyes opened and fell to me, “The spirits of our ancestors surround us. They are ready. Are you?” She did not bother to ask Al or Frankie.

“Yes Strega, I am ready to hear what they have to tell me.” I was more than ready, I needed to know.

With that she began.

Her frail fingers picked up the tarot deck and gently pulled the string, placing it neatly in front of Al. The cloth was unwrapped, then folded gently and placed in front of Frankie. Her practiced hands shuffled the deck, as her eyes remained closed, waiting for the ancestors to tell her when enough was enough. As she did this, she murmured under her breath, “Tell us what we need to know, I’ll shuffle the cards, you make it so,” and after a few moments she straightened the deck out and laid it flat on the table.

In the process of doing so the top card stuck between her fingertips as the rest of the deck produced a small ‘thud’ as it fell to the table. “My, my, the cards are certainly charged today.”

She examined the card briefly before laying it on the table next to the candle for us all to see. “This is the Two of Wands,” She stated, her eyes back on mine. “You can see how the maiden in the picture looks pained and sad. This is because your beloved is suffering from a kind of injury or an illness of the soul. She will never progress in our world if she is to continue without belief. Belief in her wolf and in lycanthropy. My dear Alpha, you and your friends here are destined to help her find that belief.”

Her eyes were glued to mine, emphasizing the importance of this task. It was certainly up to us to show her that she was a wolf, but not only would we have to find a way to do that; we needed to find a way to make her believe in wolves as a whole before we could begin to convince her she was one of us.

Frankie spoke, asking “What could have caused such a strong denial of herself, this injury or illness I mean?”

Strega Tali again reached for the cards, though this time she did not shuffle. She guided her fingers upward, along the sides of the deck until the ancestors stopped her. She cut the deck where her fingers landed and drew the top card from each.

“This answer requires the voices of two,” she stated. As she laid them down in front of us, atop the previous card, we saw both the Five of Swords and Queen of Pentacles, both drawn upside-down. The Five of Swords held a picture of two women, both sad and downtrodden. The Queen of Pentacles held a generous goddess resting before a full moon and giving gifts of charity to those around her.

“I see a battle,” Strega Tali started as she touched the Five of Swords, “warriors fighting hard but beaten back, made to submit. They bow their heads in shame, they have lost their lands and in turn, their freedom and power. Utterly defeated, the people lose the will to continue the fight, the war is over; they have lost.”

She then touched the Queen of pentacles and began, “What has been given, has too been taken. The Moon Goddess has rescinded her gift from her once faithful warriors, who in their failure to remain true to her and continue a united fight, lost their blessing. My dear, I believe this is referring to the Native Wolves of this land. I’ve often wondered what had happened to them. Their lore is rich and in it, the wolves were many, but still we have never seen one. Perhaps it is they that the cards speak of.”

This time Al turned to Strega Tali and asked, “If that is so, how can Dakota still have a wolf spirit inside of her if the Moon Goddess stripped that from her bloodline?”

Again, Strega Tali reached out to the deck. She joined the two halves together and shuffled again, still leaving out the previously drawn cards. Again, she laid the deck down and split it where the ancestors said. However, this time both of the cards were drawn from the same half; she laid the Two of Chalice and the Four of Chalices side by side.

“The Moon Goddess has been torn between rekindling the sacred power and abilities she had gifted your beloved’s bloodline, and forsaking that very same bloodline as eternal punishment for their betrayal. Our Moon Goddess had been deeply hurt, long ago, by your beloved’s ancestors; however, she has seen fit to restore the gift to your beloved on the condition that she prove worthy of it. The Moon Goddess wishes to see if she will stand up and fight for the gift she has been given. She is on borrowed time, dear Alpha. She must not only accept her gift and make the oath as each of us have done, she must also prove her intent to keep the promise her ancestors did not. To fight for and protect these sacred lands. If she does not, her gifts shall be stripped from her and she, along with the rest of her bloodline will be mortal forever.”

Strega Tali’s statement caused a large lump to form in my throat. Her gifts shall be stripped from her? Does that mean… would I lose her if she doesn’t prove herself to the Moon Goddess? How could this be happening? I begged the moon goddess to send me my mate and was so happy when she did but now… she could just as quickly be taken away? Before we could even be truly together? No, this I was not ready for.

Even so, I was determined not to let such an ill fate come to fruition. “What must she do to keep her gifts?” I asked, looking Strega Tali in the eye. She read my worry but remained calm, apparently undisturbed by what she was reading.

She repeated the same process as before, joining the deck, shuffling it, setting it down and splitting it. This time the card she laid was Judgement and it was lying upside-down. The card’s image depicted an Angel standing before the blazing sun, surrounded by the faces of the damned beneath her. However, it appeared the deck was not finished answering the question as Strega Tali’s hand reached for yet another card. It was the Ace of Swords, and this too was upside-down. The image on this card looked to me like death itself was blowing in the wind.

“Your mate’s rebirth comes with a strict condition; she must be impeccable in her behavior,” Strega Tali started.  

“That makes sense, doesn’t it?” Al asked, before the Strega finished. “She is supposed to be our Luna after all.”

Strega Tali raised her hand to silence Al, “This is not just asking for the normal behavior of a Luna. She is to be virtuous and strong, not merely as a beacon for the pack to emulate, but as penance for her ancestor’s transgressions.” Strega Tali could see our confusion and she closed her eyes, inhaled deeply, and began to speak again, “I see the native wolves of the land, hurt and licking their wounds from the fierce battle they have lost. They have moved to new lands and are weaker for it. Their clan is torn, some wish for a peaceful life, others are filled with hate, and determined to make their brothers and sisters fight again. Their world is on fire, they fight against each other, brother against brother, sister against sister, wolf against wolf. A flash of light bursts forth from the moon. All is calm, yet the wolves are no longer. As humans they walk the earth once more.”

With this Strega Tali inhaled sharply, her chest rising and her shoulders relaxing as she again opened her eyes. Again, she peered deep into my eyes, this time with a demand, “The ancestors are demanding she atone for their mistakes. That she would stand firmly with our pack, binding us together, unwavering and absolute in the face of our enemies. She must be ever vigilant, and emulate the Moon Goddess herself if she is to be successful in the challenges ahead which the cards are alluding to.”

“What challenges?” I inquired, my voice holding a hint of anger as I thought about all my mate will have to go through. To think that she must bear such a great burden, all because her ancestors had made a mess of things. To say I was upset would be an understatement.

Strega Tali, again, laid out two cards. The first was Death, drawn and laid upside-down. My heart sank immediately, but I just got her. The second was the Five of Cups. “Do not be afraid my Alpha, this card does not mean your wife will feel the cold touch of death.” She looked at me, her wrinkled face smiling as she reassured me. “The death card, in any other deck, normally depicts a terrible monster covered in a beautiful disguise. My deck, however, is the reverse. It is the mask that is terrifying and beneath it hides a beautiful face. Your mate will go through a powerful and life altering transformation; no doubt, the embracing of her first shift. However, the Five of Cups is very clear; this transformation is only possible if she acknowledges and reconciles her past. Time is ticking.”

“You keep implying that we are short on time. How much time does she have and what happens when that time ceases?” I couldn’t stop myself from showing my panic. I had just found my mate, not more than a few hours ago had I had a wonderful conversation with her. Now, I was being told that our whole connection hangs in the balance between whether she acknowledges: not only that werewolves exist, but that her ancestors screwed up so bad that they were punished by the Moon Goddess herself, and she atone for those sins by proving directly to the Moon Goddess that she means business; or she chooses to not acknowledge those things and leaves behind all werewolf kind, and me, to be a human.

Strega Tali reached across the table and laid the Emperor card in front of me. “As you were thinking, my dear Alpha, the cards pulled this for you. In a tarot deck there are four kings, but only one Emperor. This is the Alpha card, and this deck wishes to speak directly to those thoughts you just held in your mind’s eye. They caution you to be patient, all things will happen in their time. You’re love will be true and long lasting; but you, Alpha, must be calm, ever watchful, and patient. As far as your mate's time-line is concerned; that is not for you to know.”

A silence washed over us as I sat, just trying to process what had been said. Frankie was the one to break that silence, “Is there anything else we need to know Strega?”

With that Strega Tali laid a final card: The Knave of Swords. “You know all you need to, my dears. Your quest has been given, the path cleared, all that is left is for you to begin the journey. Help her to discover her history; this will, I imagine, help to establish her connection with her wolf. It may, too, ignite the fire inside her which she needs in order to prove her sincerity to the Moon Goddess and help protect our lands. It would appear, my young Alpha, that you have your work cut out for you.”

With that, Strega Tali stood and walked to her kitchen sink and began humming to herself as she started to prepare her dishes for a late-night snack. Frankie, Al and I all said our thanks to her as we stepped out of the hut, back into the fresh night air.

“Lia,” Frankie said, tentatively, “do you think the cards were implying that we need Dakota to help take down the Wolf Hunters?”

“I think you’re right Frankie. I think that’s exactly what the challenge is for Dakota.” Al replied to Frankie for me.

“I mean, we can’t seem to track those hunters one bit, even with our best trackers.” Frankie said. “Maybe Dakota can do something we can’t.”

“I don’t know guys,” I replied. All I could think about was how all of this had just gotten exponentially more complicated. “We’ll figure it out I’m sure, but right now, I need to take this one step at a time.” I let out a sigh as we walked back to the pack house. “First things first, we gotta figure out how to break all of this to her.”

I was filled with a sudden and desperate need to see her after that reading. It felt like every second I had with her was precious. It felt like I needed to protect her in case one of the many challenges she was promised showed up before she was ready. A million thoughts raced through my mind but at the center of that storm of thoughts was her. Her smile. Her blush. Her warm inviting eyes. I had barely had a few hours to memorize that face, I needed to see it again.