The Wolf Within

What A Strange Dream

** Dakota’s POV **

As I walked back to the cabin I began shaking.

Maybe its adrenaline? I thought to myself as I walked past the still smoking bonfire, I had attempted to put out earlier. It looked like it was getting ready to ignite again. I glanced down and saw the bucket I had used was still half filled with water. As I mentally processed what had just happened, I picked up the bucket and poured the water onto it.

Again, I fell into a bit of an argument with myself about whether or not I should report that strange event.

AB: We should call the Rangers.

HB: What are they going to do about it? It was just a cute, cuddly black wolf.

AB: Correction, it was a HUGE, black, shadow demon that wanted to eat us.

HB: Wolves have been here longer than we have. Besides, the Rangers know that, and we scared her off anyway. We already did what we were supposed to do. It’s fine.

AB: I think you are missing the point. Yes, we scared off ONE wolf; but don’t you remember the ARMY WE HEARD?

CB (Conspiracy brain): The people have a right to know!

AB: I agree. It’s time to tell the people so they can be safe.

HB: …

AB: All in favor say “Aye”. Aye!

CB: Aye!

HB: Nay.

AB: Sucks to be you, we’re already dialing.

My hand finished pressing the buttons and I brought the phone to my ear. It was two in the morning now and I wasn’t sure any Rangers would even be at the station: most preserves don’t even have overnight staff. I decided to hang up. I would just go sleep for a bit and call when I woke up the next day. After all, I hadn’t heard anymore howling or seen any weird things outside of that bizarre encounter.

I got ready for bed, kissed Silvy goodnight between the ears and walked up the stairs to the loft. As I got into bed, I kept thinking about that wolf.

HB: Was I dreaming or did she look... happy to see me?

AB: It wasn’t happy to see you, it was happy to find its next meal

I waved both thoughts away and urged my brain to quiet down so I could fall asleep.

Before long though I was thinking of her howl before she walked away.

HB: The sound was… well, it was so gentle and warm. If I didn’t know better, I’d say it sounded inviting.

AB: That was the sound of being declared her next hunt.

Why was I even thinking about this so much? I mean no matter how much my animal lover brain wanted to just take her home, cuddle her and take care of her it didn’t matter because it just wasn’t possible and I was probably imagining things. I tried to focus on falling asleep but the wolf just wouldn’t leave my mind.

Even as my body, exhausted from the adrenaline rush and the surge of emotions, drifted to sleep I kept thinking about what it would have been like to have her with me. I’m sure she would be the kind of animal who just cuddles up right next to you and makes you feel safe all throughout the night… I thought, before slipping into a dream.

***

I was there again. There at the edge of the prairie just before it meets the forest. I was there with a wolf staring at me. No, not at me, into me. It was looking deep into my very soul. She was… familiar, I realized but not the wolf I had seen earlier that night. An impossibly large wolf with a great, strong, dominating stance. Proud, I thought to myself and, as the thought occurred to me, pride filled my own chest though I didn’t quite know why.

She kept staring at me, as if waiting for something. I didn’t feel at all threatened but wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do. Finally, I opened my mouth to say “hello”, but no sound came out. The wolf looked from me up to the full moon, the bottom of it hidden behind the clouds, then back to me.

I simply stared at her, puzzled and waiting for some kind of clue. Her silver fur seemed to sparkle in the light of the moon. It had such a beautiful sheen, like it was reflecting… no, made… of moonlight itself.  Again, she looked from me, to the moon, then to me, and back to the moon again.

I looked to the moon then, trying to understand. The wolf turned to face the moon now, so I did the same. As I stared up at the moon, I heard the wolf howl. It was like no other howl I had ever heard before. It was strong and it seemed to pour out of her with an undeniable force commanding all to hear it… commanding me to hear it, I thought. I felt goosebumps ripple across my skin in waves. Our eyes met again. She stood, still facing the moon, waiting and expectant.

I looked back to the moon, and back to the wolf. Only now the wolf was gone, it was just me standing in the prairie grass with the only howl coming from the wind as it blew past my ears. I didn’t feel alone though…

Suddenly I heard a new howl from far off into the woods. The memory of the wolf earlier that night flashed in my mind and I felt certain it was her. I felt a sudden chaos starting to build inside of me.  A storm raging and ravaging from deep within me, clawing its way to the surface. The distant wolf let out another long, desperate howl, like the call of an animal searching for its lost mate. Again, I felt like my insides might explode, and I opened my mouth to scream in pain but inexplicably an uncontrollable howl burst from own lips. A strong, commanding howl that sent waves of goosebumps rippling across my skin…

***

I woke up drenched in sweat and looked around the room. The moonlight was still pouring in and I wondered how long I had been asleep. I reached for my phone and found it was only three in the morning. I had only been asleep for an hour.

I jumped out of bed, parched, and went down the stairs for a glass of water. Silvy was now stalking a small fly that had gotten into the cabin. As I got my water, she looked at me and jumped back, as if afraid.

“Hey Silvy girl, did I startle you sweetie?” I said, as I moved to pick her up and give her cuddles. Her head tilted, as if confused for a moment, then she seemed to calm down and she jumped into my arms. She began smelling my face all over, like she needed to be sure it was me. Her big eyes, staring cautiously at me as she did so. “It’s me silly, that drive really messed you up huh?”

I wondered why she was acting so strangely, she was normally tired after a long drive, but never confused about me. I nuzzled her face with mine and she calmed down and began purring. “You silly milly.” I giggled. “Want to go to bed now?” I asked as I grabbed my glass of water.

She let out a small meow in reply and I made my way toward the stairs. On the way I peeked out the window to see if I could see the moon, and froze.

The moon was exactly as it had been in my dream; large, full, and with the bottom part covered by the clouds.  For a millisecond my body tensed as I half expected to hear howling in the distance. Nothing happened and to my surprise I was actually more sad than relieved. I smiled gently to myself and thought about how common that moon’s look is and gave a playful and joking howl in its direction. It came out stronger than I intended and it actually sounded pretty good.

As I did so, Silvy’s eyes widened and her ears focused on me. “Oh, it’s alright sweety.” I cooed to her, nuzzling her face with mine again. “Mommy’s only playing.” And she relaxed, jumped down from my arms and found a cozy spot on my bed.

I climbed under the covers and let my thoughts wander as I drifted back to sleep.

HB: My howl certainly sounded better!

AB: Hopefully it doesn’t bring any wolves to the yard.

HB: My milkshakes won’t bring any wolves to the yard. I mean… oh boy… time for bed.