The Villainess was Loved

Chapter Twenty-Nine: Not My Own

READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED: SENSITIVE TOPICS ON SUICIDAL IDEATIONS HAVE BEEN DISCUSSED.

*

Rheyes lit the cigar then inhaled deeply as he watched the heavy wind sway carelessly the tall trees surrounding the inn.

The bench he sat on was damp, but he was convinced not much else held the ability to sour his already dreadful mood.

The sound of the light crunching of grass drew his attention.

“What did the innkeeper say?”

“That our friend had no visitor.”

“Huh?” he turned to his knight in annoyance, “You expect me to believe that a man content to wear diapers all to cut his bathroom breaks suddenly decided by himself to take a shower?”

“Well, he was a famous painter. Did you really expect him to stay down in the dumps forever?”

“You know nothing of geniuses.” As Rheyes said the words, he frowned, “They always ride a fine line between brilliance and lunacy. Especially the self depreciative ones, those who gaze at nothing but pitfalls.”

“He was one of them. Something changed his mind.” He tapped his foot impatiently on the gravel, “Someone changed his mind.”

“But he had no scheduled guest.”

“The hooded girl with green eyes, did you ask her room?”

“Yes, it was on the same floor.”

He clicked his tongue out of irritation, then dropped his newly lit cigar and squashed it under his heel.

“Everyone is hell-bent on pissing me off today,” he sighed, “do you think you can get the information out of him?”

“Grey? No, his head is no longer on the girl. He is actually talking about going home to the East. Might be time to cut our losses with him.”

Losses.

There it was, that annoying word that plagued his nightmares.

“Send someone to investigate the girl.”

“Already did, she and her companion used the public teleporter to head to the Royal academy. My thoughts are she is in the commoner section. The nobles tend to stay in the capital shoppes or towards the beaches for the weekends. So I instructed Ridely to keep his search specifically in that section.”

“I don’t care, just watch her and let me know if she tampers with another of my puppets.”

*

*

*

Arusei E. Alpensa.

The second I opened the door to my room, I was assaulted by the scent of flowers.

My room no longer had any lingering essence of the last bath oil I used before leaving; instead, it held deeply the scent of fresh roses that would undoubtedly attract interested bees.

“What the hell….?”

There was a giggle in the hallway, so I closed my door instantly before more rumours about the kind of bastards I woo on weekends popped up.

Purple roses lay on my bed, perhaps the only bouquet in the entire room with a card.

‘I hope you adore flowers; I find roses as prickly as you are. Take this as my attempt at a genuine ‘romance book’, well, romance?

With profound fondness

Killian’

“For f**k sake.” I sighed, then tossed the bouquet on my bed to the floor.

I plopped my tired body on the bed then let myself drift into sweet slumber.

When I opened my eyes once more, it was dark.

The usual warm orange glow of the school’s night hummed.

The orange light came from the streetlights. It was mostly for security reasons, but depending on their intensity, they also hinted at the availability of cafeteria supper.

Supper began at five forty-five to seven. By the looks of it, there was still time for me to attend.

I sat upright, then stretched the stiffness right out of my bones.

If I had the option of dining in my pyjamas, I would have headed to the cafeteria, but let's be honest. A bath and a self-made meal in my poorly stocked kitchen would do.

I stood from the bed then drew the curtains to let in more light, more of the soft view of normalcy.

Below me were a group of girls and boys my age laughing as they followed the main track to the cafeteria halls. The visible head of the group had a girl in his arms.

Each time he told a joke, he would sway her a little.

I felt odd watching their normalcy, well not odd; the bitter feeling had a name that quite matched the audacious green of my eyes.

I tore my gaze away from them and turned to my bathroom.

A bath would do.

*

The soothing tea tree bath was quick, perhaps because I no longer had a maid who would scrub be till kingdom come or warm my bathwater beyond lukewarm. Maybe I let her go too soon.

My light’s were still off; I liked the orange light from the outside, so I merely left my curtains open and used the glow to partially light the dark room.

The meal I made was simple; there was hardly anything unexpired or without mould because…well, I had no maid.

“Christ, but when will I get used to this near medieval life?” I said audibly as I picked my watermelon salad from the counter.

It wasn’t that the world was backward. It was just advanced where you would not expect it to be advanced and backward where you expect more.

I pulled my chair to the window, not that I did not wish to watch something from the Crystal broadcast, but I wanted the room to maintain its quiet dignity.

I can't believe I am back.

I thought as I plopped myself on the chair.

Back here, in the past rather than….

A scratchy misplaced sound spilt from my throat before the prick in my eyes gave way to the waterworks.

The pain in my chest felt as though it would consume me, and no matter how mightily I wailed, nothing soothed, nothing changed.

Why didn’t my death take me back home?

Even though it was not the ending I expected, I still soothed myself in prison, knowing this viciously placed role was complete.

What the hell could Aran be doing right now? Was he crying because his sister died stupidly?

How the hell would he continue to live without me?

We were poor, but that bastard wanted to become an idol.

The image of my black-haired and brown-eyed brother laughing in his school uniform popped into my head.

I should have been kinder to him…I should have let him drive me bald.

Aran…

Aran, I miss you…

Fuck! Why the hell did I not just die?

Why did I have to come back and…

I never asked to be in this world, so why...why me?

The tears wouldn’t stop; the memories of my execution were still too fresh to ignore, but, gods!

I hate this world.

This world that only takes, with no intention of giving.

If only, if only it did not exist, then I-

Then I what? I would still have died. Struck by lightning as though it longed to gift me abilities like in the action films Aran worshipped.

The night was calm. Even the fall wind was missing.

“For god's sake!! Why does it never rain when I am in pain? Even at my own execution-…even then, heavens, you did not wail for me.” I screamed to the calm night, then threw my hard made dinner to the polished window.

The mixture dripped messily and unsatisfactory to the ground.

Despite my tantrum, I would be the one to clean the mess later.

Gods but I thought, I thought that I would go back if I died, yet here-

Should I look for a way back? A witch or a warlock might help?

I had no luck before, but I wasn’t permitted outside of central unescorted by Étienne’s knights.

Or what if…what if I cut out the middle man?

I stood from the couch with newfound determination, and after a deep breath, I unlatched the window from its hinge and stared down at the fifteen levels below me.

The fall would kill me.

No, the fall has to kill me.

I took a deep breath, and let gravity sway me in accordance with its will.

{ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR} {ERROR}

The entire system glitched painfully as the audiovisual messages in bold red encoded themselves painfully in my being.

I could no longer feel the rush of the wind on my skin or the cold of the night. Instead, I closed my ears firmly to keep them from bleeding at the frequency and intensity of the system prompts.

The motion halted, and the view of my living space became clearer.

I sat upright on the cool marble floor.

The window was shut, and the spilt watermelon syrup no longer dressed it. Instead, it was still on the counter.

Both my hair and skin were wet, as though I was from the bath.

“What the hell?’

{THE HOST IS NOT PERMITTED TO PERFORM THE PRIOR ACTION.} {THE HOST IS NOT PERMITTED TO PERFORM THE PRIOR ACTION.} {THE HOST IS NOT PERMITTED TO PERFORM THE PRIOR ACTION.} {THE HOST IS NOT PERMITTED TO PERFORM THE PRIOR ACTION.} {THE HOST IS NOT PERMITTED TO PERFORM THE PRIOR ACTION.} {THE HOST IS NOT PERMITTED TO PERFORM THE PRIOR ACTION.} {THE HOST IS NOT PERMITTED TO PERFORM THE PRIOR ACTION.} {THE HOST IS NOT PERMITTED TO PERFORM THE PRIOR ACTION.} {THE HOST IS NOT PERMITTED TO PERFORM THE PRIOR ACTION.} {THE HOST IS NOT PERMITTED TO PERFORM THE PRIOR ACTION.} {THE HOST IS NOT PERMITTED TO PERFORM THE PRIOR ACTION.} {THE HOST IS NOT PERMITTED TO PERFORM THE PRIOR ACTION.}

In overlapping screens, the same message repeated itself.

“Ah!!” I sealed my ears shut as the loudness of the monotone female A.I. voice entrapped seemingly the entire room.

{THE HOSTS PUNISHMENT HAS BEEN DECIDED: SIX HOURS OF TOTAL BODY PARALYSIS.}

The instant the words were displayed in crimson, the rest of the messages dimmed out of focus. After a few seconds, all of the screens vanished from view.

“Wait, no! don’t go! I need! I need something! I need answers!!” I yelled but to no avail.

When it grew undeniable the screens would not return, I screamed out my frustrations.

“f**k you!! I can't even kill myself!? Fu-!”

Before the fullness of my words left my throat, my upper body fell right back to the floor.

I could move nothing but my eyes, and they, for whatever reason, could not stop shedding tears.

Should I thank the gods that the rooms were soundproof, that none outside could hear me unless my doors were open? Or should I cry because of the same reason?

Because I was stuck in the darkness, with a body that was not entirely my own.