Dangerous To Love

Chapter 11

Kyle's POV.

"How is she?"

 Jade just burst into the living room. I knew she is so worried, but I can understand her. She can be as worried as me but not so able to control it as me. Sometimes I would be glad if I could just show emotions better. And have friends like Natasha has.

" She is asleep, Jade but she is fine. Okay. Not entirely fine but she is now getting some medicines which we wait major effects from."

Then I told them everything how these swelling influences Natasha's brain and I couldn't help but seem extremely worried as I actually told them how dangerous this is. All in all, this medicine puts an even higher pressure to her by trying to dissolve that swelling. So yeah putting pressure to an area that already has too much of it, is dangerous. I am glad that I could talk to them about this. I just needed to get it off of my chest. We talk a bit, how they could help, and I need to stay clear.

"I wouldn't need help, I wanna be next to her. She needs you mostly. Of course, I must also tell that I would be glad if I could sleep some hours if you would look after her. "

 Jade answered immediately:

"Of course Kyle. We wanna be next to her too. We can take some hours off of your shoulder. And you need rest too. I can imagine not being able to properly sleep while worrying and watching her every move. We'll stay now as well."

Leo didn't say anything, but he nodded to say that he is absolutely staying. We will always have tension I know it, but Natasha needs him as well. More than ever.

They just sit there and watch her sleep. I can see that Jade is crying. I would comfort her, but she needs those tears. She will feel better. Leo also knows it and just holds Jade’s hand. Leo is also an excellent friend. What he has done for Natasha is exceptional. Breaking a promise to tell someone these secrets just to make that person's life better is heart-breaking. He must suffer. And I hope they can speak through it with Natasha. I just leave them to be and go to the living room and as soon as I hit the couch, I quickly fall asleep.

It's been some time that I am asleep, but Jade woke me up to help calm down Natasha.

Yeah, just as I could imagine. She must have taken up and seen Leo there. But what needs to be done, it will be.

I can hear Natasha crying and speaking in a defensive hurtful voice:

"Why have you done this? Why did you betray me? I counted on you, I trusted you Leo. I f*****g gave my life to your hands."

I could hear Leo as well. But Leo wasn't shouting at all, he tried to speak at a calming voice. He knows what Natasha needs at the worst times.

"What could I do? Let you start building your walls back up? Be around and watch you suffer? Sorry, I watched you suffer enough."

Leo truly loves Natasha. I can tell it. And he was really next to her whenever she needed. But Natasha misunderstood her sentence again.

"If you watched me suffer enough, why are you here? It must be hell boring to watch over a wreck like me who you already had enough of."

But Leo got irritated as well.

"Why are you doing this? You know that I didn't mean it like that. But you need to give all my sentences the meaning YOU wanna hear behind them. I had a rough time with you. We lived that through together, you forgot that? I did EVERYTHING that I could, and I even nearly lost you. I never let that happen again Natasha. You can't keep up with another shot of pain like that. I only wanted to help you. To have Kyle help you as well. You are the one who should have trusted him more than this. And you should f*****g be honest to everyone not making my life full of secrets. You know these secrets burden me like heavy rocks? Did you ever thought of how is it for me? That I was the only one who knew that you wanted to kill yourself? I had no one to talk to about it, but it's not me who is important. I had no one to look after you when I wasn't around. Do you know how it felt when I was blaming myself all the time when I wasn't with you that if something happens to you, it will be me who is responsible for it? "

Leo was getting angry too, and he raised his voice, so I went in. I won't let him hurt Natasha, he knows well what state Natasha in. As is I went in, Natasha was already crying. I wasn't looking at Leo at all, just went next to Natasha.

"Shhh.. It's alright babe. Don't get upset. You know you mustn't stress yourself. Heey, look at me."

She was just looking down, crying silently. Leo looked at her sadly, but I could see that he couldn't take this anymore. He stood up and left the room. I could see how Natasha's heart broke.

Then she looked at me and just said:

" I didn't mean it Kyle. I love him and I don't wanna lose him, he is my best friend. "

I am trying to calm her down. She needs to calm down because of her own state. 

"He knows it babe. He just needs time.  But he loves you, no matter what.  He is just confused and worried. But he also wants you to get better.  So, you should want to get better as well. First, calm down.  I am here with you.  Everything will be fine. Just give him time. He will be back. He loves you too, he doesn't wanna leave you alone. And never forget that everything he has done was for you. He broke your heart and his own as well for you to get better. To not let you be stubborn enough not to let me into your past. But now, you must have rest, you already overstressed yourself."

I could see that she is in pain. Not just emotional. But she reassured my thoughts:

"My head hurts a lot. Could you get me something for it?"

She can't have any meds, but the ones James prescribed for her but it's already time for that too. And as I thought, she got the medicines and fallen asleep nearly immediately. We are one day closer to end this pain. And to start build her up again. But damn I will be next to her, not letting her push me away.