Natasha's POV
I feel like a mess. I couldn't stop crying when I told Jade everything. She was in pain. I knew that I kept it a secret because I didn't want to feel pity. But not just because of that. I was afraid to hurt Jade. And telling her everything just made me live through everything again. I was crying so much they both could hardly calm me.
As I was telling everything, I started my old habit to dig my nails into my flesh. It's as painful as I want it to be. I want to feel its pain. I want to feel physical pain. I can't deal with the emotional pain only. It kills me. If I can feel physical pain, I calm myself that at least I feel physical pain not just emotional. Sounds awful. I could never describe it normally. Maybe because it's not normal.
As I was hurting myself, Leo came nex
