The Wolf Inside

Why can't I accept?

Today is my 18th Birthday and the time to become a Fully-fledged alpha wolf. I'm excited yet I suddenly felt anxious. All of our Family is here Including Gun's Family I am very close to them, the same goes with Gun to my family, our friends in school are here too, but Gun is still not here, why is he late? I accompany my guest and sat down to where my friends are

" Damn, Let's welcome the Alpha!!" My friend Max, a beta. Told my other friends too who are sitting at the same table with him, I don't know if they were teasing me or just happy because I have become an official and fully fledge alpha that can rule our pack and can access to communicate via mind link to any forms of existing packs.

I sat down and just smiled at them

" Hey, alpha Nix are you ready to meet your mate?" max Teasingly ask with a funny face

" I am not in a hurry, and there are many girls here maybe I can find it later nor wait for it to approach me first" I answered naughtily

"eh? what if your mate is not a girl? what will you do about it?" Sheila asked that made me stop thinking

"well, that's impossible, I'm not gay, I can't afford to have a male mate" I said while shaking my head

"well we can't tell, the deities don't base on gender, as long as you are destined you are destined" she continues the topic

"I agree" max nodded that I just slapped the head of max out of my frustrations

"you're agreeing because you are not on my heels" I said and awkwardly laugh

"no, dude it doesn't matter to me too, having a male mate is not bad too, and Sheila has a point" Max said I just stayed silent and thinking about what-ifs, I am not anti-Gay but I am just not Gay and all my life I did not accept Gays in my Life even friends tho Gun has various kind of Friends including gays, I just think I can't handle a male mate.

"oh, GUN!" Max shouted and turned my head to where he is shouting Gun's name, my eyes sweep all over the crowded place trying to find Gun. I felt he is nearby but I still can't find him, and I suddenly hear an inner call... My eyes suddenly fell on the boy standing next to Max.

Gun's eyes were interlocked with mine, his scent was so sweet that I might collapse! the desire I have wanted him near me, I, wanting him close to me is very powerful but I restrain myself! He's a guy!

The next thing I know I felt horror myself and darts out running out the door to avoid this freaking awkward situation.

But I felt Gun is following me I vigorously run in flash and shapeshifted I didn't care about my suit being torn out after I transform as long as I Can't be near him, I can't accept it!

I can't think straight this is too much! what did I do wrong to the deities to punish me like this?

THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!

' Nix shift! we need to talk' I heard him but I am not listening.. he commanded me via mind link? huh! I'm an Alpha he's only an Omega I am more powerful than him! who do you think you are compared to me?! commanding this alpha to shift?

wait does he already know?

' *groans* Nix, please hear me out!'

I stopped running and glares at Gun who was panting running after me and suddenly out balanced runs above me and we landed in the dirt

'shift' I commanded he shift into human form panting while catching breath.

I can't hide the anger, confusion, and pain I felt all over my body especially I express

"let's Talk" he softly said to me, I wrinkled my nose and pushes him away from me, he just yelped

"you knew didn't you?!" I spit " you knew you were destined- no you knew all this time that we're mates? and you did not dare to tell me?! the Hell gun!" I said and stood up brushing off all the dirt in my body and angrily stares at him, he seemed shocked at the way I'm behaving right now, well you should be! I am very Angry

"I know you will act like this If I told you sooner Nix, I wanted to wait for you to feel the connection between us even though I am suffering from this heat alone within me whenever we are so close, It's also hard for me, Nix! If you're the one who'll want me and felt this connection then I'd concluded you'd understand my feelings for you" he explain but what left me Hanging is the last statement he stated.

"feelings?- your feelings?" I asked confusingly " The only feelings we have for each other is only friendship dude, you know I don't say harsh things to you, but this is too much. We're Friends! nothing more!

" you knew that is false! it's not a mistake and we're mates Nix, we are destined to be together you know that that's what the deity planned and blessed us" he stated, his sweet-scented aroma that I refuse to smell is now lingering in the tip of my nose that makes me want him, but my mind is rejecting it! He's a friend! I can't afford to lose a friend Like him.

"I also thought I knew how The deity works, but I guess I'm wrong"

I said and run my hands through my hair out of frustration

"if you mind me helping you, nor give me a chance to make you accept me as your m---"

"NO! That will not happen, the 'we' you are expecting aren't and will never gonna happen. I am not Gay and so are you! so stop- please"

I begged and looked at him in disbelief as he roam his eyes around avoiding me gazes the place and met mine accidentally and a sudden confession made me in surprise that my mind went blank

" But I think I am," He said as he look at me with those eyes, I can't deny how beautiful his paradise is but what he said made me freeze.

" I know you'll say that you've known me entirely but I knew what concerns you about gays, you think I can't sense you can't accept my gay friends? but I think it's true I am gay and I think I am attracted to you since day one since I felt the comfort and warmth you've given me when I think I was lost and left me"

what is he saying? The sincerity in his words and His eyes want me to embrace it and comfort him in the pain he felt just... because of me

"no, I'd rather have no mate than risking our friendship in line Gun, I am not Anti- Gay I just Uhm--- I'm still in shock "

I said and run towards home did not care about how miserable I looked and how many eyes were looking at me running as I recklessly ignore all the things that hinder me from running and lock myself in a room.