Second Chances

The Breaking

I must have passed out, I was jarred awake by Carl coughing and gasping for breath. I opened my eyes and saw people in uniform rushing towards us. Squeezing his hand," Help is here babe. Hold on please." I started to cry again. I could hear the squawk of the radios and see the colors of the flashing lights. "Jesus!" I heard someone say behind me. Then rough hands grabbed me with a gentleness and care that can only come from years of seeing the mangled destruction that accidents leave behind. I gripped Carls hand tighter, and he squeezed back, but with less strength than before. "NO!" I rasp angrily. "It's OK hun. We are gonna take care of him." "NO!" "Jean, you have to let go of him so we can help you both." I opened my eyes to see my friend, Wayne, looking down at me. " You promise?" I saw sadness in his eyes. "I promise to fight for you both. But, you've got to promise to fight too." "OK" I said weakly as I felt my hand start to loosen. Carl's hand tightens briefly, but we release our hold on each other. I hear others talking to Carl the same way. I allowed Wayne to gently lay me back, and I locked eyes with Carl. "I love you", I said quietly. His mouth twitches in an attempt at a smile, "I love you too."

Wayne then tells me that he's going to put a neck brace on me to make sure that I don't injure myself more. I feel a second set of hands on either side of my face, stabilizing my head. Wayne puts the brace on, and I immediately start to feel panic. I don't do well being confined. My eyes widen, and I let out a panicked moan and start to twitch my hands to grab it away. "Jean, I know that you're scared, but you have to trust me OK?" Wayne says, leaning over me, so I can see his eyes, "I wouldn't do anything to hurt you, you are safe. " "Ok" My eyes are starting to feel heavy. I feel them cutting my clothes off of my body. I hear a yelp of pain when they move Carl. My eyes flash open, and I see Wayne looking at me. "It's OK, they're making him safe." When they get to my pants, I scream loudly and see black spots as they move my leg. "Let's get her on a backboard." I feel the pinch of a needle as they get the IV in. Then the sounds get farther away and the bright red and blue lights start to become fuzzy. I feel myself starting to shake and it hurts. Damn, it hurts so much. I think I'm crying again. It's so hard to tell with all this fuzziness I'm feeling. My eyes are getting harder and harder to keep open and everything feels so far away.

I opened my eyes to a horribly bright light and a lot of people around me. The buzzing of equipment is so loud. I catch glimpses of people in my peripheral vision and try to move my hand. I am strapped down. I cn move my hand a little, but I let out a pained whine and I can hear a heart monitor starting to accelerate. A nurse comes into my field of vision, "Hey, hey it's gonna be ok. We will take those off of your hands once we get you moved onto the bed. It's OK." she says gently and touches my hand. I'm still shaking, but I slowly start to calm down. A Doctor comes over and shines a light into my eyes and I scowl. "Hurts", I croak. He doesn't respond. I see a few different people around me and hear "lift" as I scream in agony. "Four more cc's" is all I hear before the fuzziness envelops me again.

The beeping of the monitor is the first thing I hear, then hushed whispers from somewhere close by. I slowly crack my eyes open and see a soft light coming in from a window. Inhaling as deeply as possible, which, it appears, is not very deep. "Ouch" I croak. my mouth feels like I've got a wad of cotton stuffed in it. I smack my lips and try to get some saliva flowing in my mouth. "Ungh." I moan as I begin to become more aware of my surroundings. I turned my head away from the window to the doorway. My daughter is standing there with the doctor speaking in hushed voices. The doctor is the first to notice that I am awake. He smiles and came towards me. "Well, hello there Mrs. Smith, How are you doing?" "I feel like s**t" I croaked. "Water?" I looked at him, hopefully. My daughter Donna came to my side and grabbed a styrophone cup with a straw in it and brought it to my lips. I met her eyes, and she gave me a weak smile. I study her face, the bags under her eyes, the worry, the sadness. Frowning, I looked at the doctor, "How long?" "You have been out for 48hrs. You have had surgery on your left tibia making the necessary repairs. You've got some pins and plates in there. You broke 4 ribs and collapsed your left lung. You suffered a concussion and had some swelling in your brain. Do you remember anything about what happened?" I closed my eyes and the images of the accident flashed before me. I struggled to focus, "Carl?!" I gasped as my eyes popped open. The doctor's eyes darted briefly away from mine, "He is in the ICU. He probably will be for a few days" I struggle to pull myself up. "I need to see him." The doctor raised his hand and said "Slow down, you aren't going anywhere. He is sedated right now, so he won't be aware that you are there," "Oh yes he will. I need to see him as soon as possible!" I say vehemently. "You need to gather your strength right now, please?" I lean back feeling defeated, and exhausted. "Mom, it's OK. We have been taking turns between you two." she says, her voice strained. I looked into her eyes again and our tears began to flow. I reached out and held her hand. "Thank you."