SAINTS DON’T MOAN

Chapter6

• Penelope •

The hot California breeze hit my face as I contemplated my next move. Maybe I should’ve taken Miguel up on his offer and let him drive me back to the convent. But the last thing I needed was more whispering. Especially after the last blow-up with one of the Sisters.

That woman had eyes like a hawk and a mouth like a stupid megaphone.

I adjusted the shopping bags in my arms, watching Miguel’s car shrink in the distance. He didn’t look back.

Of course he didn’t.

I sighed and turned toward the bus stop, but then paused.

It had been six months since I joined the training, and two years since the accident. Two years of therapy, all kinds of therapy.

Maybe I deserved one evening of fun.

I scrolled through my phone, my fingers hesitating over names I hadn’t called in forever. People I left behind without a proper goodbye. People who still thought of me as the wild girl who snuck tequila into Bible camp and danced barefoot in warehouse raves.

I tapped Kendra.

Kendra: Pen? Is this really you??

Me: Still breathing

Kendra: If you’re in town and don’t come out tonight, I’m filing a lawsuit

Me: I have like… two hours max

Kendra: We’ll make it count. Cafe Reverie. 8 PM.

I stared at the screen for a second too long.

Cafe Reverie was just like I remembered cozy, loud, and a little chaotic. Music drifted through the air, something jazzy and warm. The lighting was low, all amber and gold, and the scent of espresso clung to everything like a memory.

Kendra spotted me before I could chicken out.

“Holy shit.” She barrelled into me, nearly knocking the bags out of my arms. “You look like a nun.”

I laughed, actually laughed and it felt good too. “That’s kinda the point.”

“God, I missed your weird-ass sarcasm,” she said, dragging me to a corner booth already filled with familiar faces.

Jason. Raya. Even Taye who once tried to convince me to run off to Vegas and start a kombucha bar.

I turned toward the window, my stomach tightening for no reason at all.

There was no one there.

But I still felt it, that slight heat at the back of my neck. The same one I always felt when Miguel was nearby.

Maybe it was just nerves.

Or maybe I shouldn’t have chosen that stupid pale blue dress after all.

“Okay, no offense,” Kendra said, sliding my drink over, “but you vanished. Like, fell off the planet.”

“I didn’t vanish,” I said, tucking my hair behind my ear. “I just took a break from everything.”

Jason raised a brow. “You changed your number, deleted your socials, and didn’t come to Raya’s birthday. That’s not ‘taking a break,’ if I didn't know any better I'd have sworn you were taking into the witness protection system.”

I sighed. “I was figuring things out. That’s all.”

Raya leaned forward, resting her chin on her hand. “Figuring what out? You look like a nun now. Are you a nun?”

“God, no.” I paused. “Not officially.”

“Oh my god, you are,” Taye said, half-laughing. “What—like, no random hookups and no clubbing?”

I flushed. “It’s more like community service and loads of praying.”

Kendra tilted her head. “And you’re happy doing that?”

I hesitated, fingers tightening around my cup. “I think? I needed to get away. From everything, from who I used to be.”

The table went quiet.

Raya gave me a soft smile. “You do seem calmer.”

Jason nodded. “Yeah. Less ‘let’s jump a fence and skinny dip’ and more ‘let’s not give into temptations.’”

God, if only they knew how many temptations I've given into since I met that cursed Doctor.

“Hey, growth,” I said, laughing. “I still curse, you know.”

“Good,” Taye said. “Would’ve had to stage an intervention if you turned full angel on us.”

Raya swirled the ice in her drink, her voice softer now. “Hey… I’ve been meaning to ask. That night—after the party. The accident.”

The atmosphere became calmer, I hadn't talked about it with anyone besides my therapist.

It was hard to hold myself accountable and then forgive myself for being careless.

I looked down at the rim of my glass, tracing it with my thumb.

“Are you okay?” she asked. “I mean… really okay?”

I nodded slowly. “I’m alive.”

Jason looked at me with warmth in his blue eyes. “What exactly happened? All I remember was us drinking and you rushing to leave.”

The others looked at me too, like they’d all been wondering but waited for someone else to say it.

I set the cup down. “Mom kept blowing my phone up and I was downright getting agitated so I left and I crashed, like literally crashed.”

“God,” Raya said gently. “We are so sorry, we should have followed you.”

“It wasn't your fault,” I said. “I shouldn’t have been driving in the first place, I was f*****g wasted, pissed, and the fact my mom kept blowing up my phone made it all worse.”

Jason’s smile faded. “Shit.”

Kendra leaned in. “Was anyone else in the car?”

I shook my head. “Just me.”

“What’d your mom want?”

“To scream at me, probably,” I said with a dry laugh. “She found out I was out drinking again.”

Taye tilted her head. “Did she ever see you after the accident?”

“Eventually,” I murmured. “She was at the hospital before they even wheeled me out of surgery.”

“Is she still mad?” Jason asked.

I shrugged. “She’s out of my hair now, she probably thinks she talked so much sense into me that I chose to hideaways in St. Judes.”

“Did she?” Raya asked.

I paused. “Not her. The crash did.”

There was a moment of silence. Then Jason cleared his throat. “Damn. And here I was thinking you joined a convent because the wine ran out.”

I laughed. “That was part of it.”

“No, but for real,” Kendra said. “You scared the hell out of us. Then you disappeared.”

“I needed to,” I said honestly. “Everything felt loud. I wanted peace.”

“Did you find it?” Raya asked.

I thought of the orphanage, the kids and then the image of a man with pretty ombre eyes and silver hair flashed through my mind.

“Kind of,” I said, swallowing the rest of my drink.

Raya raised a brow. “What does ‘kind of’ even mean?”

I smiled. “It means I found peace, but peace comes with waking up as early as 4 am and sharing the bathroom.”

Jason leaned back. “Damn. So, what now? Are you staying in California long?”

I shook my head. “Actually I’m leaving tomorrow.”

“What?” Kendra blinked.

“Where are you going?” Raya asked, lips parting.

“Oakridge.”

There was a beat of silence. Then—

Jason whistled. “Damn. That’s hours away?”

“Isn’t that where that fancy doctor is moving to?” Taye asked.

I blinked. “What?”

“Dr. Miguel Ramirez,” he said, grinning. “A total eye candy, tall and freaking handsome. Basically looks like a hotter version of Lucifer?”

My pulse did something it had no business doing.

Keep it together, Penelope.

Kendra’s eyes widened. “Wait—is that where you’re going? Because I follow his clinic on i********:. Girl, everyone practically adores him. There are several fan pages of him.”

I almost choked on my drink. “That’s… excessive.”

“No, you don’t get it,” Raya said, laughing. “He’s like absurdly hot. And super off-limits. Apparently he doesn't care for anyone or anything, I heard he had few affairs but it was never serious but to be honest, I wouldn't mind being a fling to a Greek god that heals people.”

Jason grinned. “He always donates to churches, and his donations magicslly makes women donate too, yeah they are obsessed.”

“Okay, why do you all know so much about this man?” I asked, trying to sound casual. I failed. Badly.

“Because he's Miguel Ramirez. Not just any man. Damien Black and Miguel Ramirez are like the most eligible bachelor's, Miguel is more like a sugar daddy. From what I heard? He's in hus late forties.”

So I've been f*****g myself to the thought of a man old a enough to be my father?

Good Lord, save my soul from eternal damnation.

Kendra narrowed her eyes, teasing. “Look, I get it you’re reconstructing your life but f*****g check i********: or something, how can you not know him? He's like the Messi of medicine.”

I stared down at my glass.

Yeah right, I knew him plenty. A lot plenty and I might get to know him even more for the next three weeks.

“I was asked to go at the infirmary there,” I said quietly. “I doubt I'd bump into him.”

Lies, pure lies. I'll bump into him and he'll try to seduce me and I'll go back to my room and moan into my pillow again.

Jason gave me a look. “Penelope, you’re going to live the dream of others, loads of women would kill for this opportunity.”

“Seriously,” Raya chimed in. “Forget Jason and listen to me, Miguel might be hot hot but he's a filthy dog from what I've heard. He's a no commitment man, and you my love aren't the same Penelope we know. Whether or not you cross parts be careful.”

I gave a tight smile, already knowing it was far, far too late for that.