Lessons After Class.

Chapter 4

Night always made things feel lighter to me. Like the sun carried too much truth and the dark was kind enough to hide it. By the time the clock on my phone said eight forty five, the room already smelled like perfume and heat and excitement. Melissa was sitting on her bed with one leg crossed over the other, dragging eyeliner across her lid with the focus of someone defusing a bomb.

I stood in front of the mirror in her room and stared at myself for a long time. Not because I did not like what I saw. I just needed to remind myself that I was still here. That the day did not win.

My burgundy leather mini skirt hugged my waist tightly. The gold waist chain sat right on my hips like it knew it belonged there. My halter neck cropped top showed just enough skin to feel bold but not careless. I let my hair fall freely, parted to the side, soft and full. I touched it twice just to be sure.

Gold was my choice tonight. Gold studs in my ears. Gold heels that made my legs look longer than they already were. The gold infinity necklace Yemi bought me during the holiday rested gently on my chest. I touched it without thinking. I stacked my wrists with gold bangles and finished everything with red lipstick. Not wine red. Real red. The kind that says I am here and I will not apologize.

Melissa finally stood up and turned slowly.

Melissa said “So how do I look?”

I smiled, “You look like trouble”.

She laughed and tossed her ponytail. Black leather pants clung to her legs. Her halter neck cropped top showed off her flat stomach. Silver accessories shined under the room light. She looked hot and she knew it.

“Good. Because tonight I want chaos”, she said.

I laughed but inside I knew I needed this night more than she did. Today had been long. Heavy. One of those days that felt like the universe lined up just to test how much I could take. I had not told anyone everything. Only Melissa knew. Not even Yemi. I just wanted to forget. At least for a few hours.

Melissa reached under her bed and pulled out a small bottle.

“Guess what I borrowed from my boyfriend?”

I raised my brow, “Borrowed or stole?”

She grinned, “Borrowed without permission”.

Belvedere vodka. Cold. Smooth. Dangerous.

We took shots straight from the bottle. No glasses. No waiting.

The burn hit my throat and settled in my chest. I welcomed it.

I said, “Okay. Let us go make bad choices”

We locked the door and stepped into the night.

The party venue was loud before we even got inside. Music thumped through the walls. Laughter spilled out through open doors. People crowded the entrance, all dressed like they had something to prove.

It was a speed friending party. The first one I had ever been to. The idea still sounded strange to me. Meet people fast. Talk fast. Decide fast who mattered. Apparently this was how you built networks now.

As soon as we stepped in, noise swallowed us. Everyone was talking at the same time. Some people shouted over the music. Some exchanged numbers like business cards. Some danced like the world was ending. Drinks flowed freely.

I paused and took it all in.

Yes. This is exactly where I need to be.

I tapped my bag lightly, feeling the weight of my flask filled with Belvedere. Insurance.

We grabbed cheap beers first. The kind that tasted like regret but did the job. We danced a little. Nothing serious. Just enough to feel loose.

Melissa disappeared at some point. I did not even notice when. That was normal for her.

Malik appeared out of nowhere with his usual grin.

Malik said, “Hana. You finally came out”

I said, “Barely. But yes. I am here”.

He handed me another drink. I accepted it without asking what it was. It tasted like the good stuff though.

We played rage cage. First Melissa and I VS a random guy and Malik, then random guy and I VS Melissa and Malik. My team lost twice. Drank more of that cheap beer. Laughed too hard. Met people whose names I forgot five minutes later. Exchanged contacts I might never use.

I finally met my handsome Yemi near the drinks table.

“There you are”

I smiled despite myself, “Hey”

We danced. Close. Familiar. We made out a little. Enough to remind me why I liked him. Why things were simple and easy with him.

Later, I met a new girl who had good alcohol. The kind that did not taste cheap or angry. I drank more than I should have.

By the time we decided to leave the party, my head felt light. Not spinning. Just floating. I knew I was tipsy but I did not think anyone else noticed.

The group was small. Me. Yemi. Malik. Melissa. A few others.

We wanted somewhere quieter. Somewhere we could hear ourselves talk. A bar nearby worked.

The bar was dim and calm. Thank God. No cheap beer. Real drinks. I ordered beer and a chicken burger because my stomach reminded me I was human.

We laughed loudly. Talked over each other. Caught up on nonsense.

Then Yemi looked at me a little too closely.

We sat down beside each other. Everyone on the tables were talking to their partner by this time.

“How was your day? You did not reply my texts”, Yemi asked

My chest tightened.

“This is not a good time. Can we talk later?”

Yemi nodded, “Okay”

I relaxed. Slightly.

Less than five minutes later, he spoke again.

“You know you like to dish out what you cannot take?” Yemi asked.

I looked at him. I wasn’t angry. Just disappointed.

Yemi continued, “If it was me that snubbed you all day you would be pissed. But you can easily do it”.

His voice felt too loud. My head started to hurt. It was like my thoughts were flipping over each other.

I stood up.

Yemi stood up too.

Yemi said “Babe. Where are you off to?”

I did not even pause.

I said, “I asked you not to bring it up and you just had to. The one thing I asked you to do and you could not. I cannot”

Yemi frowned, “Cannot what?”

I said, “I cannot do this right now Yemi”

He looked confused, “Do what?”

I felt something snap.

I said, “This. With you. Right now. Right here. You ruined my day again just when everything seemed right. You want to know how my day went. Fine. I will tell you. Because you could not wake me up early I rushed out and bumped into my professor and misplaced one of my forms. After spending time I could not even submit it. I got to class late because of the long queue outside and was thrown out immediately. I spent hours meeting professors again to sign my form in a few hours when I did that for two days before. When I finally got my reapplication approved I had to go see the guidance counselor. She told me I would need to be a professor assistant if I still want my scholarship next year. That is it. That is how my day went. Are you happy now?”

Silence fell hard.

I realized too late that I was shouting.

The bar felt small. Everyone was looking at me.

Yemi said softly, “Ife I am sorry. I did not know”

I cut him off.

I said, “There is no need. I am leaving”.

He stepped closer.

Yemi said “Babe”.

I looked at him straight.

I said “If you follow me we are done”.

I meant it.

I turned and walked out alone.

The night air hit my face. Cold. Sharp. Honest.

I kept walking. My heels clicked against the pavement. My chest burned. My eyes stung.

I did not look back.

For the first time that day, I let myself feel everything.

And I kept walking. My only companion being the flask now in my hand.