Deerhill

Chapter9 -Indigo

Chapter 9 - Indigo

Indigo dreamed of blood and teeth, until her nightmares warbled and flickered, and she was standing in a motel room.

“How far will you run?”

Indigo turned to see a large coyote, illuminated by the neon motel sign outside. Surrounding them was yellowing wallpaper and tough carpet underneath her bare feet. There were flies on the windows, and one blinking light coming from the open doored bathroom. Indigo glanced over her shoulder at the otherwise dark motel room, taking in her surroundings before looking back at the coyote.

“How many states will you go through?” The coyote spoke again, his voice level, and calm. His tone was nearly mocking, but there was no disrespect. “Even with broken legs, you drag yourself across miles.”

“I don’t understand,” Indigo said honestly.

The coyote gave a quiet laugh and walked over to one of the twin beds, climbing onto the mattress and laying down. “You typically don’t. You trick yourself into understanding more than you know. You’re only hurting yourself by pretending.”

“Where am I?” Indigo asked, looking at the fly covered windows again, the stale motel air making her nauseous. “How long have I been here for?”

“Your death sits in your own chest, and all you know is suffering,” the coyote said. “You don’t even know my name.”

“What is your name?”

The coyote hummed, low and mourning. “You will learn it in time.”

“How am I supposed to know your name without you telling me?” Indigo asked, looking back at the coyote. It offered no sympathy, and watched her with an unwavering gaze. Similar to predator watching prey. Indigo would have been afraid, but she was too stubborn for that. It was familiar, tugging at truths deep inside of her that she was too afraid to dig up and look at. They were in a stalemate, and it didn’t take a genius to understand who was at fault.

“How far will you run?”

“It’s all I’ve ever known,” Indigo said honestly. “What else is there to do?”

“Poor thing,” the coyote cooed. “You are dying, Indigo. You are dying on the side of the highway, with the sun beating down on your dehydrated body, with wildlife and men waiting to pick you up and pull you apart. The fingers near your mouth will nourish you, instead of pulling out your teeth. Do not bite the hand that feeds. Take what you can from this. Let it nourish you. I need you strong.”

“What do you mean I’m dying?” Indigo asked, feeling her stomach drop to her knees. “I can’t be dying, I- I was just at Danica’s apartment. I pulled over because I was out of gas, I stopped because I had nowhere else to go.”

“You ran out of gas miles ago,” the coyote said. “The sun is hot, and you did not stop to rest. You have been dying for a while. You do not even remember laying down to sleep.”

“How do I get back?” Indigo asked. Her head was spinning. The idea of death was as close a friend as any, but it felt daunting to look right at it. She couldn’t feel the pain in her chest, or the ache in her calves. Just the dirty carpet underneath her feet, and the sound of the buzzing flies in her ears. It was her body in this motel room, stuffed beneath the mattress. It was her blood rotting the stale air.

Indigo woke up with a start, sitting up in bed. It had been a day since her squabble with Jeremy, and Helia had yet to apologize for bringing him over. No one had spoken about it after Indigo had gone home, and now she had another man after her- her supposed vampire father. She had no idea why she had never been told about him being a vampire, or why her mother had kept it from her. She could only hope it had been for good reason.

Slowly she got out of bed. A shower might shake her right, she thought, so she headed into the bathroom. Danica and Zoe were both still at work. Danica had a long shift, Zoe worked nights, so it was just her in the apartment. Suddenly the walls were too big, too dark, despite the last slivers of sunlight still peeking in through the windows. After her shower, she stood in the living room, alone, for a moment.

She wasn’t sure what it was exactly she was looking for. Comfort, maybe, but it would not be found in the apartment. She wondered if Leo was doing anything. The coyote’s words hit her again. “How far will you run?”

She grabbed her phone and texted Leo, a simple ‘what’re you doing?’

He responded immediately. ‘I’m sitting at the beach at my house with Helia and Drew. We’ve got drinks, you should join us.’

The offer was tempting, and being around people was better than rotting in the apartment. She could still smell the musty motel room, and it made her sick to her stomach. Maybe Leo could help her decode her dream. She went back to her room and pulled on her leather patchwork jacket, then tugged on a pair of jeans with her boots. She didn’t know if they had actually killed the Crocotta or not, so she tucked a silver knife into her boot for safe keeping- just in case.

Then she was on the road. Indigo drove with the windows down, feeling the breeze whip her hair around the car. Her hair used to be long, when she was a child, but she’d cut it off after the death of her father, and hadn’t let it grow out since.

In the light of her headlights came a woman’s form in the road, and Indigo had to slam on the breaks. Her car screeched to a halt, not used to the aggressive stop, and idled quietly while the woman and Indigo stared at each other. The woman was tall, with long, braided hair that went down to her hip, and she was wearing an assortment of beaded jewelry. A pair of bangles clinked together when she put her hands on her hips, and she walked around the car to Indigo’s open window.

“You better keep your nose where you can see it, missy,” she said. “A hunter in these parts never means anything good.”

“I’m sorry,” Indigo said, annoyance clawing up her throat. “I already got this threat by a vampire’s juice box, thanks.”

“August Iwasaki?” The woman guessed, and stared at Indigo in silence, waiting for a response that would never come. She sighed, after a moment, and folded her arms across her chest. “You’ve gotten yourself into quite the pickle, little hunter. You should go, before you dig up more than you can bury again. Some secrets are meant to stay in the dirt. There’s more than just vampires in this town, Indigo Westick.”

Indigo’s mouth turned to sand. “How do you know my name?”

“I know everything,” the woman said. “And I know when a hunter comes through.”

“Cryptic, thanks,” Indigo said. “That doesn’t answer my question.”

“Ask your friend,” the woman said. “He’ll explain. If he’s feeling good enough to.”

“If he’s feeling good enough to?” Indigo asked. “I’m pretty sure that boy lives in a constant state of euphoria, he’s so high all the time.”

The woman smiled and patted the car door. “You should get going.”

“Seriously, how did you know my name? And what’s wrong with the town?” Indigo asked, craning her neck out the window as the woman walked away. “Hey!”

“Be careful in the forest, Indigo. Find the graveyard of bones. That is where some of your answers will be found.”

Indigo watched the woman walk down the sidewalk, and when she blinked, she was gone. Indigo knew enough about spirits to know that she wouldn’t find her even if she kept looking, and it was starting to get dark. She sighed and took her foot off the break, continuing her drive to Leo’s home.

Indigo pulled up to Leo’s house minutes later, killing the engine and getting out of the car. She knocked once and was bringing her fist down to knock again when Lisa answered the door, all smiles, and waved Indigo inside.

“Indigo! Oh you made it, good! Leo told me to expect you. Please, come inside!”

“Oh, thank you,” Indigo said, accepting Lisa’s offer and stepping inside. Lisa led her through the house and stopped at the kitchen.

“Get a drink,” she said, rummaging around the copious amounts of alcohol and mixers lining the counters. “Please, help yourself.”

“I don’t really drink much,” Indigo said. “Hey Lisa, you know the area pretty well, don’t you?”

“Yes I do,” she said, mixing Indigo a drink anyway. “Why sweetheart? What’s up?”

“Do you know anything the forest around here?”

Lisa’s hands slowed, and her smile became forced. She finished mixing Indigo’s drink and handed it over before answering. “It’s just a forest, silly. Nothing more to it.”

“That’s it?” Indigo asked. “Do, weird things happen in the forest?”

“Oh, I’m sure,” she said. “I wouldn’t go poking around out there.”

“Right,” Indigo said, taking her drink from Lisa’s hand. “Thank you. I can find Leo from here. He’s just out by the water, right?”

“Yep, straight on down,” Lisa nodded.

Indigo thanked her again, noting the stress to Lisa’s smile, and walked down the lawn to the beach, where her friends were hanging out on the dock, enjoying the last few rays of daylight sun before it dipped over the mountains.

“Well hello hello,” Leo said to her as she approached. “I see my mother got to you first.”

“Yea,” Indigo said, lifting her drink. She sat on the dock with them, trying to be normal about Helia in a bright orange bikini this time, having been sun bathing. Drew was in shorts that had bright pink flamingos on them, and Leo was wearing matching sunglasses. Drew was sleeping with his arm over his eyes, laying on his back.

“I need your help with something,” she said, the vulnerability rare and unfamiliar. “I had a weird dream.”

“Oh this is right up Drew’s ally, Drew,” Leo reached over and shook his partner awake. “Drew wake up.”

“What?” He grunted, lifting his arm off of his face. “What do you want?”

“Indigo had a weird dream.”

He groaned and sat up, grumpy that he was woken up from his nap. “Okay, shoot.”

Indigo nodded and launched into explaining her dream. It felt odd, to be sharing something so personal. But it had unnerved her.

“Interesting,” Drew said. “Coyotes are tricksters, and typically when they’re in dreams it means you need to trust your instincts. Interesting that you’ve dreamed of it twice. Coyotes also mean embracing change, and you’ve been through a lot of change in a very short amount of time. I wouldn’t worry too much about it. It sounds like a stress dream.”

“But it felt so real,” Indigo said. “Extremely real. I can still smell that motel room.”

“Stress dreams often feel real,” Leo said. “If Drew’s not concerned, don’t get your panties in a twist over it.”

“Real nice,” Indigo said. “What makes Drew the dream decoder?”

“His mom was a psychic,” Leo said.

Drew smiled sheepishly. “It was a part of her job. I know a lot about the spiritual world.”

“So we have someone who touches souls, a medium, a monster hunter, and whatever it is Helia does,” Indigo said.

“I don’t do anything,” Helia said. “I’m boring.”

“I also ran into this woman on the way here,” Indigo said, changing the subject. “She told me I would find answers in the forest,” she said. “Whatever that means. Something about a graveyard of bones.”

“Lot of monsters in the forest,” Leo saod.

“Your mom got all weird when I asked her about it. Said it was just a forest. But why would someone tell me about it if it wasn’t a hotspot? The lady also knew my name.”

“You’re just getting threats left and right,” Drew said. “Leo told us about August.”

“Oh yea, I’ve got that going on too huh?” Indigo said, sitting back, pressing her hands flat against the dock behind her to keep herself up. “Hey, maybe the forest is where I’ll find our unicorn.”

“A teenager in the middle of the forest?” Leo asked. “Unlikely.”

“We should check it out anyway. Eventually.”

“Deal,” Leo said and took a sip off his drink. “Drink whatever sludge my mother made you, Indigo.”

“She was very persistent,” Indigo said, taking a sip of her drink, something sweet and raspberry.

“She just wants you to have fun,” Leo said. “She wants you to let loose.”

“Foster an alcoholic tendency is more like it,” Indigo said.

“She’s actually really respectful,” Drew promised. “She asked when Leo invited you. Leo told her to get you drunk.”

“I see,” Indigo said. “You’re the culprit.”

Leo smiled, taking a sip from his own drink. “Maybe. Helia’s on her third one.”

“I’m impressed,’ Indigo said. “I wouldn’t be standing anymore.”

“That’s why I’m sitting,” Helia said. “You watched me drink when we went to Seattle. Don’t be so surprised.”

“Drew, come get another drink with me,” Leo said, getting up, and Drew followed him back up the lawn and into the house.

Indigo watched them go, then looked back at Helia, who was watching her intently. She couldn’t help the blush creeping up into her face, and she barely resisted the urge to look away. Helia had a light blush too, red in the face from the alcohol, and the blue twilight made her brown eyes dark. It was going to be too cold for her to just be in a bathing suit, so Indigo shrugged off her jacket and held it out in offering.

“It’s getting chilly.”

“Oh,” Helia said, taking the jacket and wrapping it around her shoulders. “Thank you. It’s warm.”

“It was my mother’s.”

“Where is your mother, Indigo?” Helia asked curiously. “You’ve mentioned her, but none of us know where you come from. Where do you come from?”

“Arizona,” Indigo said. “I told you that.”

“No,” Helia pushed. “Where do you come from? What built your soul?”

What built her soul? Pain, and blood, Indigo thought. But she could never tell that to Helia. She could never make this gentle, beautiful thing know just how evil Indigo’s heart was. How much blood was caked underneath her fingertips. Helia didn’t need to know where the shadows in her eyes came from, or where her mother was buried, or why her sister was living with her uncles, instead of being safe in Indigo’s arms.

“We traveled a lot,” Indigo said, finding some half of a truth in between years and years of lies and new hairstyles and changed names. “I moved to six different highschools between the ages of sixteen and eighteen, and had a different name and face every time. I was expected to just exist, as some figment of a person. I’ve never been real.”

“That’s not true,” Helia said. “What, like you’re some kind of ghost?”

A wandering spirit, was how Indigo liked to describe herself. She shrugged at Helia’s question. “Something like that, sure.”

Helia reached over after a moment, and her hand was warm against Indigo’s cheek. “Nope, not a ghost. I can touch you, so that must mean you’re real.”

Indigo felt her face grow warm. Helia was too close for comfort, right in her space bubble, and Leo and Drew would be back any moment. Indigo cleared her throat, glancing over Helia’s face, trying to admit her gentle reassurance to memory. She couldn’t be real, not in a million years, but maybe pretending would be nice. Just for now. Just for the moment.

For the moment she had friends, and Danica was safe at home, and Ducky wasn’t tucked under her arm for her to protect, and Helia’s eyes were deep with the need for Indigo to admit that she was real. Her head was swimming from the alcohol, and then Helia’s other hand was on her face as well, and the next thing she knew her lips were pressed flush against Helia’s.

Her mouth was warm, and she tasted like something sweet. Indigo’s hands found Helia’s soft curls, dry from the saltwater, and she pulled her head closer to her so she could kiss her better. A soft moan from Helia was what broke Indigo out of it, as if waking her up from a spell. She was not a real person, and Helia had to be more drunk than she was.

Indigo pulled back and let go of Helia, letting Helia kiss her nose before she put a gentle hand on her chest and put space in between them. “Thank you for the kiss,” she said. “But don’t do it again.”

Helia’s face fell. “What? You don’t…?”

“No I, I do,” Indigo said. “Like women. Like, you. But I just can’t..”

“Okay, lovebirds,” Leo said, he and Drew walking down to the dock. “Make out sesh is over, we’re back.”

“I tried to stall him for as long as I could,” Drew said. “But he was determined to ruin your fun.”

“I’m not ruining their fun,” Leo said. “Here Indigo, I need you to get on Helia’s level before you two go making out again.”

Indigo took the drink he handed her, with no real intention of drinking it. If she did, she might not be able to say no next time. If she was going to sleep with Helia, they were both going to be sober, and Indigo’s life wasn’t going to be hanging by a thread and in the hands of a vampire’s feeder. She wouldn’t put Helia at risk. She wouldn’t be one more person to hurt her.

“You’re so rude,” Helia said to Leo. “No drink for me?”

“You, my love, have had enough,” Leo said. “I know for a fact this was your idea.”

Helia wrinkled her perfect face. “Not even.”

“Oh so Indigo kissed you?”

“Whatever,” Helia said. “If she was Jeremy we’d be rolling around the dock already and you two would be banished to the house.”

“I’m sorry,” Indigo said, Helia’s words smacking her across the face. “You’re too drunk to have sex.”

“That’s never stopped him before,” Helia said casually. “I like it, it’s kind of fun.”

“Kind of fun, like how the other night was kind of fun?” Indigo asked.

Helia looked away. Indigo still hadn’t gotten closure from anyone other than Leo about the night Jeremy had attacked her, and although it wasn’t Helia’s fault directly, her blatant refusal to understand the danger she put herself in was infuriating. Anger pulled at Indigo’s chest and she wanted to walk away. Leave, go home. Instead, she took it as an opportunity to grow, and took a sip from her new drink instead. She would force herself into the illusion of being a person tonight if it killed her.

A fire was lit by Rick, who was still home, and the small group of friends huddled around it roasting marshmallows. The last time Indigo had made s’mores had been on the ranch. When she was fifteen, and the world had been one big mystery, and she still wanted to be a cowboy.

“You’re doing it wrong, you’re doing it wrong,” Leo said as Drew lit his marshmallow on fire.

“This is how you eat them,” Drew said, blowing the fire out and shuffling for a graham cracker.

“God you’re such a freak,” Leo said.

Helia giggled. She herself was trying to get the perfect golden color all the way around, staring intently at her marshmallow as she rotated the stick slowly over the flames. Drew squished the marshmallow between the graham crackers and slice of chocolate and ate it messily, not caring about the crumbs falling down his shirt.

Leo gave him a disgusted look. “Remind me why I’m obsessed with you?”

“Because I’m your everything,” Drew said, sliding another marshmallow on his stick.

“It’s true,” Leo sighed.

Indigo smiled to herself, watching her friends and their marshmallows. Her’s was barely hanging onto her stick, and she managed to scoop it onto a graham cracker just in time. Leo passed her a slice of chocolate- something expensive and adult- and made up her own s’more.

“Oh yea, come to mama,” Helia said as she finished her marshmallow, and Leo passed her graham crackers and chocolate as well.

Indigo attempted to eat hers in a less messier fashion than Drew. Helia didn’t even try. Leo gave her the same disgusted look.

“Heathens, all of you,” he said.

“Okay, rich boy,” Drew said. “You’d eat yours with a fork and a knife if you could.”

That made Indigo laugh, the thought of Leo eating a s’more with a fork and a knife ridiculous. “You can’t be that prim and proper, Leo.”

“I’m not,” he said. “Drew’s just mean.”

“Sure,” Indigo said. “What was it like, growing up learning how to put a napkin in your lap when you ate, and which fork to use for salad?”

“Sucked,” Leo said. “I never saw my dad, and my mom was too focused on the kids she taught to pay attention to me. There was always strangers or peers in my house.”

That made Indigo’s stomach twist with pity for him. She’d spent a lot of long nights alone in motel rooms, waiting for her mother to- hopefully- eventually come back. Indigo had often over stretched the small amount of money her mother left for her, and learned to turn tricks in truck lots for extra cash. Despite what her teachers described her as, Indigo could get loud when it came to making money. She knew how to put her mouth to work.

“My mom would ditch us for days to weeks,” Indigo said. “Me and Ducky. I understand being alone.”

“New Indigo lore,” Leo said. “So she’d just, what? Disappear? Doing what?”

“Hunting,” Indigo said. “You think she took me with on every hunt? I was supposed to stay behind and watch Ducky. Keep an eye on my baby sister. That was my job, after my dad died.”

“That’s, terrifying,” Helia said. “What did you even do? That’s so unsafe.”

“I knew how to protect myself. Trust,” Indigo said, watching the fire. “I know how to keep myself, and my sister, safe.”

“You’re safe now,” Drew said, and it made Indigo physically wince. No one commented on it. “You’re not going to be alone again, not so long as you’re with us.”

“Thanks,” Indigo whispered. After a moment she looked up, locking eyes on Helia. “Does Jeremy really sleep with you while you’re drunk?”

She shrugged, shifting her weight. “It’s whatever. I just… want to keep him interested. I don’t know.”

“Why?” Indigo pressed. It wasn’t that she wanted to upset her, but she needed answers. Why kiss her when all Helia wanted was Jeremy. Was Indigo just someone to kiss, someone to touch when she was bored? Or did she have the chance at being something more? She had to know so badly it ached in her chest. Drew promised she would never be alone again. How much of that was true, Indigo needed to know.

“I don’t know,” Helia sighed, and for once Indigo thought she was going to get some truth out of her. “I think that, he’s what my parents want me to be with.”

“But he doesn’t make you happy,” Drew said softly, glancing at Indigo like he was surprised.

“He makes me happy enough,” Helia said, and shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m going to get another drink.”

Drew let her leave, the three of them watching Helia get up and walk across the lawn to the house, then slip in through the door and disappear.

“Don’t,” Leo said as Indigo opened her mouth. “Don’t start.”

“Fine,” Indigo said. “But you’re bad friends for letting it happen.”

“I didn’t know it was constant,” Leo said. “I thought the other night was the first time.”

Indigo sighed through her nose. She couldn’t stay mad at him for it- not really. She let it go, leaning back in her chair. She put another marshmallow on the stick and held it back over the flames, sorting through her thoughts as she listened to the crickets in the distance.

Helia was leaning hard against Leo when the time came to go home. Drew drove, and Indigo helped put Helia to bed. Helia’s hands gripped tight around Indigo’s sweater sleeves, and she pulled herself up into a sitting position.

“You can stay with me,” she said. “Come’re, we can have fun.”

“I don’t think so,” Indigo said, gently pulling the blankets up and over Helia. “I’ll be right downstairs.”

“Okay,” Helia said, laying back down in bed. She shifted the blankets around her and fell asleep shortly after, snoring softly.

Indigo quietly stepped down the stairs into the living room, where Leo handed her a cup of tea. She smiled to herself as she took the steaming mug and leaned against the counter to talk with her other two friends. “She’s fast asleep.”

“Thank you, for putting her to bed,” Leo said. “I think that meant a lot to her. Especially since she kissed you earlier.”

Indigo shrugged, blowing over the surface of her tea before taking a drink. “I don’t mind. As for her kissing me, that was entirely her idea. She was also, way too drunk to be kissing anyone. I let it go on for longer than I should have.”

Leo just shrugged. “Well, me and Drew are off to bed. You can sleep in Helia’s room if you want to.”

“Isn’t she upstairs?”

“That’s not her room,” Leo said. “That’s our upstairs room that she’s converted to another bedroom. But it’s not her room. Her room is right across the hallway from ours. You’re welcome to sleep there if you want to. A bed might be nicer to sleep on than the couch.”

Indigo nodded after a moment. “As long as she won’t mind.”

“She won’t,” Leo said.

Indigo nodded and watched Leo and Drew go to their bedroom. She finished her tea in the quiet kitchen, then went to Helia’s room and gently pushed the door open. The walls were covered in band posters and pictures of her and her friends. The bed was covered in laundry. It was all at once messy and cozy, and more like a home than what Indigo was used to.

Pushing laundry off the bed, Indigo finally felt how tired she was, and she laid down on the soft mattress. She drifted off to the smell of Helia, and dreams of sweet drinks and soft hands.