Deerhill

Chapter 4 - Indigo

Chapter 4 - Indigo

Danica let out a slow whistle after parking at the curb, the three of them craning to see the well-lit house up the windy, cement driveway. The house in and of itself wasn't entirely impressive, but the lawn was large, and so was the driveway, and there was still a backyard that they couldn't see that was separated by a large, wooden fence.

"Indigo, you sure you're only into girls?" Danica asked as she, Zoe and Indigo got out of the car.

Indigo shot her a look. "Yes I'm sure. And even if I wasn't, Leo's gay."

"You sure you're not a boy, then?"

"Danica," Zoe said with a chuckle as Indigo shut her door. Indigo chose not to entertain her anymore and made her way up the light, cement driveway to the front door.

Leo must have smelled her coming, because he opened the door excitedly before she even got the chance to knock. "Hello hello!" He said, a drink and a lit joint already being juggled in one hand, his phone in the other. "Glad you could make it."

"Your house is beautiful," Indigo said, and Leo waved her off.

"Oh, you're sweet. Come in, come in. Party's out back."

"Uh, Leo you met Danica, but this is her girlfriend, Zoe," Indigo said as Leo walked them through the living room towards a back, sliding glass door.

Leo turned and took another look at Zoe with a friendly smile, taking her hand and kissing the top of it. "Pleased to make your acquaintance."

"Oh," she said, smiling with amusement. "The same for you."

"So my dad's making burgers and hotdogs," Leo said, letting go of Zoe's hand to push the sliding door open and lead the way outside. "Mom is wandering around. I hope you brought your swim suits."

“Yes,” Indigo said. “Wearing it under my real clothes.”

“Amazing,” Leo said. “Helia and Drew are already in the water, I can take you down.”

Indigo looked behind her at Danica expectantly, but she waved her on. “I’m gonna stay dry, at least for right now.”

“Boo,” Indigo said.

“Indigo.”

Leo laughed loudly, and a woman whom Indigo immediately pieced together as Leo's mother walked over, setting her hand on his shoulder. She had his blonde hair and bright eyes. Her face was so kind and warm it unnerved Indigo, and she looked at the three of them with interest.

"Leo, I take it these are our new friends?"

"Yuh, mom this is Indigo, and her sister and sister’s girlfriend."

"Im Danica, and this is the beautiful Zoe," Danica introduced them properly, and the woman gave them an excited nod.

"Amazing, I'm Lisa," she said, holding her hand out to shake with Zoe first. "It's nice to have you. Leo's been talking about Indigo non-stop since meeting her. Are all of you new in town?"

"No, just Indigo," Danica said. "Zoe grew up here on Westside, and the two of us moved here a couple of years ago, after graduation."

"Wow, amazing," Lisa said. "What did you study? If you don't mind me asking."

"Danica majored in bio-med, and I majored in political sciences," Zoe said. "Which is funny, considering now she’s a CNA and I'm a bartender."

"And a damn good one," Danica was quick to say, giving her a look. "You don't have to be president Zoe."

"I, yes, thank you dear," she said, patting her shoulder and giving Lisa a look that she took with another smile.

“Indigo, this is my dad," Leo said, gesturing to the man at the grill.

"Hey, I'm Rick," the man said, shifting his tongs into his other hand so that he could shake with Indigo and her family. Unlike Lisa, the only similarity Rick had to his son was a golden California tan that could never be replicated artificially. His hair was long, but dark, and so were his eyes. Lisa fit against him like a glove when Rick took his hand back, and the happy way they leaned against each other tugged at a wound not quite healed for Indigo.

"Nice to meet you," Zoe said. "I'm Zoe, this is Indigo. I see you've met my partner, Danica."

"Oh yea," Rick laughed. "This is my other son, Steven, and his wife Jen. As well as Steven's work partner, Angela."

"Who is head detective, mind you," Steven said cheerfully. Indigo noted the way that Angela gave her head a little shake, as if that fact was trivial.

"He's too proud of me for a job he's better at," Angela said. "He does all of our paperwork and that's the only reason anything ever gets done."

Where Leo was blonde and bright like his mother, Steven was all his dad. He had dark hair that was cropped short, but a relaxed stance that seemed to run in Leo's family. Indigo had never seen a cop be so informal, and it made her instinctively take a step back. He didn't seem to notice, but Angela certainly did. Head detective for a reason, despite her modesty, Indigo figured.

Angela had long hair that was tied up in a ponytail that had been wound so tightly Indigo was surprised it hadn't snapped. She didn't have a single flyaway, and it was stick straight, but damaged. Her eyes were so blue they were silver, and she stood like she had spent some time in the military. That at least was more familiar to Indigo, so she wasn't surprised when Angela called her on her hesitance towards them.

"And you're Leo's friend?" She asked. "Indigo. I like that, it's pretty."

"Thank you," Indigo said, meeting her unwavering gaze. Angela was intimidating, but Indigo was used to intimidating. Their stare-off must have looked more malicious than intended, however, because Leo grabbed Indigo's wrist and gave it a hard tug.

"Come on Indigo like the color, our friends are waiting," Leo said and started pulling her over to where his friends were waiting at the dock.

"Um- okay," Indigo said, glancing back at her sister. Danica smiled and waved her on, and Indigo made a mental note to thank her later for entertaining Leo's family for her.

Leo grabbed her arm and walked her down the lawn. The grass stopped and made way for rocky, sharp sand, and Indigo was glad for her sandals. There was a boat tied up to a long dock that stretched to what Indigo assumed was the deep end by a Helia and Drew wrestling each other off the end of it.

“Drew- no!” Helia screamed and fell backward into the water. She had too good of a grip on her friend and he tumbled face first after her with a surprised outcry. They hit the water with a splash and were giggling when they surfaced. Helia splashed Drew when he came up and he coughed up lake water, pushing her shoulder.

“Hey hey heyyy,” Leo said as they approached, standing on the beach.

“Hey,” Helia said, lifting herself out of the water. Her golden blonde hair was plastered to her face, and she was back in her bikini. It made Indigo’s face warm and she turned her head to look at Drew instead, who was waving.

“How did you manage to land a house on the sound?”

"My folks make good money," he said. "Dad's a music producer. And mom, like, never stops working. Mom’s an art teacher for the highschool. She takes in a lot of kids. They come and go, come and go. Sometimes she has so many at one time they sleep on the couch. She just can’t handle seeing any of them miserable at home. So she opens our house for if they need to get away from it all for a while.”

“That's how we got Drew. He moved here our Junior year, and started sleeping on our couch round about december. Then my mom told him to just move in that July, and he never left us.”

“It’s true,” Drew said. “Anyway, I see they didn't eat you alive. They can be a lot."

"Talkative," Indigo agreed with a nod, taking off her clothes so she was just in her bathing suit. Something too tight, and green, that she’d picked out with Zoe at Walmart just a few hours ago.

"Girl you only met them for like five minutes," Leo said. "Just wait until they really nail you down."

"I see where you get it from," Indigo said, and Drew laughed. "Don't you three have to play at the bar tonight? It's Saturday."

"We have a few hours," Leo said. "It's like, four pm. We're not expected to be up on stage until eight."

"And we usually barely get there on time as is," Drew said. "It's not like they're paying us, we do it for fun. Community service. It's fine."

"Oh," Indigo said. "I guess I was being truthful when I called Leo a struggling artist."

Leo laughed as he sat down on the dock. "I forgot about that, that's funny. Come on Indigo like the color, grab a drink, smoke some weed, you're driving me crazy."

"Oh, so you can take her on a hike?" Helia asked, and Leo fixed her with a look over his large, orange circle sunglasses.

"Let's talk about the hike you took today, Helia."

"No, we don't have to," Helia said, her face reddening.

Indigo wasn't sure what was so humiliating about a hike, but if it had anything to do with the blatant scars from repetitive vampire feedings along Helia's neck and chest, she didn't like it. The way Helia almost tried to hide herself from Leo's taunting didn't sit right with Indigo, and she watched Helia closely, trying to find any signs that she was in danger.

"Indigo, as our seasoned man-hater, going on a hike with the man who only wants you for your body is a good idea. Yes or no?" Leo asked.

Indigo broke her gaze from Helia to look at Leo. "Seasoned man-hater? Who said I'm a man-hater?"

"Be so for real. I know what you are, Indigo. There's no way you suck dick."

"I-" Indigo stopped, taken completely off guard. Never in her life had she had a conversation like this, and she wasn't even sure where to start. She didn't hate men- was finding enjoyment in Leo, as much as she hated to admit it. She was weary of Drew, but she had also only known him for less than a day. She didn't hate men, she just didn't trust them. But those two things were completely different.

That being said, when there were men who deserved to be hated, that hatred ran bone deep and white hot. She had done violent, gruesome things to men who were violent, and gruesome people. She kept every evil deed she had seen a man do in a box on a shelf in her mind, and held it close every time she started to trust someone too fast. Men hurt people they hated, and knew, and loved, and adored. Hatred wasn't consistent for her, but unease was.

"It's more... I can't trust them," she said. "Not that I hate them. I hate some men, of course. When they're f*****g evil, or disgusting. But I don't... it's not a broad, intentional thing."

"Sure. So, as the man hating lesbian," Leo continued, completely disregarding Indigo's point, "- answer the question. A hike with a man who just wants to use you, good idea, yes or no?"

"Leo, please," Helia said before Indigo could get the chance to answer, looking at Indigo with wide, sad eyes. "He's a good guy. They just don't like him."

"Is he just using you for your body?" Indigo asked, more concerned with the way she was being treated than Leo's stupid question. When Helia hesitated to answer, that was all Indigo needed to hear.

"No," she said. "No, of course not. It's- it goes both ways. We're, friends. With benefits."

"He has a boyfriend," Drew said, and Helia visibly wilted.

"They're in an open relationship."

"Are both of them aware of this?" Leo asked, and Helia gave Indigo a defeated look, her sad eyes big and brown and hard to stare at for too long.

"I never think that going into the woods with a man is a good idea unless you're well armed," Indigo said honestly. "Well populated hiking trail or not. That being said... it's your life, and your relationship. It's not my place to tell you what is right and wrong."

"Thank you," Helia said. "Seriously. No one is ever on my side in this."

"Oh that doesn't make me on your side," Indigo corrected her. "No, I think messing around as an extra on a movie set you never auditioned for is a bad idea through and through. What happens when you're in this guy's bed and the boyfriend comes home? What happens if the relationship isn't as 'open' as you were told it was? You're putting yourself in a very easy way to get hurt. People are f*****g crazy."

"Wow," Drew said after a second. "There's a lot going on there."

"Told you," Leo said, smacking his chest lightly. "See? I love her."

"I don't think his boyfriend is ever going to hurt me," Helia said, her desperation climbing again. "Besides, I'm never there when he is. Jeremy only-"

She silenced herself too late, realizing her mistake with a squeak. Indigo wasn't the judgemental type, but Helia's friends glanced at each other like they had just gotten confirmation for a lifelong mystery. Helia opened her mouth to save herself, but Indigo couldn't watch her scramble anymore and decided to mercy kill her.

"Tell me about the voice in your house."

It was so off topic that it worked, and Leo and Drew immediately forgot about their attacks they had started to gear up against Helia. They rambled and argued about the mysterious voice, and whether or not it was real. Helia, taking her chance, got up with a quiet excuse neither boy really cared about and went inside the house.

Indigo let them talk about the benevolent spirit for maybe another minute before cutting them off. "Is he abusing her?"

"Hm? Who?" Leo asked. "Jeremy?"

"Um, not... yet," Drew said. "But honestly, he's slimy. Seems real nice, he's handsome. Tall, strong. But he's also an entitled white boy with mommy issues, who only wants to see Helia when his boyfriend's out of town, and when he can be her savior. That's all it is, he's her savior."

"Helia has a lot going on," Leo agreed. "Ever since the office incident a few years back."

"Her parents are, really big on appearances," Drew said. "And Jeremy's the ideal man in their eyes for her to end up with. So he tags along when she needs an escort. Military balls, family events, all that stuff."

"But he behaves," Indigo guessed. "Aside for the obvious cheater aspects aside, what makes him gross?"

"I don't know," Leo sighed. "It's just... this, vibe. You know? Helia really likes her rose colored glasses, but everyone else can see what's going on. My mom says that he has this evil inside of him, this darkness, and it wraps all the way around him and inside of his organs. She said that it squeezes his soul. He's not allowed in this house."

"He's feeding off of her," Indigo concluded. At Leo and Drew's confused stares, she sighed and elaborated. "He's only around when his boyfriend is gone, and he can be her savior. That's what you said. He's feeding off of her, eating up her energy. She probably acts like she worships him. Narcissists love that attention. She's making herself the perfect victim."

"Indigo, marry me," Leo said.

"We've been trying to tell her that for years," Drew said. "But she just won't listen to us. She thinks we're against Jeremy to be malicious, or to find something wrong about her, but we're just worried about her."

"She's our best friend, and we're scared he's going to really hurt her," Leo agreed.

"She's too full of light to be snuffed out by a man like him," Indigo said, glancing back at the house, watching as Helia closed the sliding door behind her. Or drained, more likely. She couldn't find a good way to tell Leo and Drew that Jeremy was, most likely, literally feeding off of her, so the metaphor would have to work.

"She's getting there," Leo said after a moment of silence. "She has a habit of finding ways to suffocate."

"Leo," Drew warned him and Leo held his hands up.

Indigo took too long deciding on whether or not she wanted to know what Leo meant by that, and Zoe was above her before she got the chance. Indigo smelled her tropical, coconut scented shea butter lotion, and knew she was entirely too close to her. She twisted around and looked up at Zoe, who was waiting for acknowledgement with her hands on her hips.

"What are you doing still dry?"

"Enjoying myself."

"Come on," Zoe said, squatting down. Indigo had never expected her to be strong enough to pick her up, so Zoe's arms scooping her up and lifting her came as a big surprise. Indigo barely got out a scream of protest before Zoe was flinging her into the water. She broke through the surface, and the initial shock of the cold water hit her before the sensation of water going up her nose did.

Despite the pressure in her sinuses, the cold surrounding her leveled out quickly, and Indigo opened her eyes to see the sunlight filtering through the surface of the water. It cast pale streams of light around her, and with the water plugging her ears, it was so quiet that even her own, usual racing thoughts were drowned out. The weight of her body was gone, and for a moment, it was just her down there.

'Oh,' Indigo thought as she floated in the water. 'It's so peaceful.'

She stayed under until her lungs told her that she needed to breathe, and only then did she make her way back to the surface. When she popped her head above water, the noise and chill of the wind on her face was a brutal reminder of reality as she sucked in a deep breath. Zoe was tapping her foot anxiously as Indigo pushed her hair out of her face so that she could see again, and it took her a moment to notice that Indigo was back above water.

"For a second I was wondering if I needed to go in after you," Zoe said.

"I can swim, Zoe," Indigo said, swimming to the lip of the dock and lifting herself out of the water. "I just, forgot how quiet it is down there. I haven't gone swimming in a long time. Do not- push me back in," she held her hand up at the mischievous glint in Zoe's eyes.

Zoe nodded and took a step back, holding her hands up in front of her in surrender. "Alright, I won't."

Indigo nodded and sat with Leo and Drew again, looking up at Zoe to wait for her to make any sort of move. She didn’t like Zoe standing above her like this, but she also didn’t want to invite her to sit with them.

“You got that look on your face,” Zoe said, almost sympathetically, and Indigo had to look away from her.

“You gonna stop standing over me or what?”

“Oh, sorry,” Zoe said and went over to the dock edge, crouching before lowering herself into the water.

“So you’re Danica’s girlfriend?” Leo said. “Goddamn, shes a lucky girl.”

“Oh,” Zoe laughed. “Thank you. Really though, I’m the lucky one.”

“You know what, I’m actually going to go check on Helia,” Indigo said, pushing herself to her feet. “You okay with me in your house, Leo?”

“Huh? Oh, yea babe, whatever,” Leo said. “No, I’m gonna invite you to my house and then be mad when you go inside my house. Hello?”

“Okay- I’m just asking,” Indigo said, despite that being a very logical option to her. She wouldn’t want strangers in her house if she was throwing an outdoor get-together. Leo just waved her on, so she crossed the long yard to the house. The adults didn’t stop her, too invested in whatever story Danica was telling, so she managed to slip inside unnoticed.

Unlike the first- and second- walk through the house, this time she was alone, and she felt like it. The house was too quiet, but very full. A spirit lived here for sure. Indigo couldn’t tell yet whether or not it was malicious, but it was definitely some sort of trickster. Fae, maybe. A mimic, definitely.

Indigo found Helia in the dining room, sitting with her head in her hands. She wasn’t crying, but by the way she was sniffling, she definitely had been earlier. Indigo hadn’t had to help someone through grief in a long time, and she hesitated. The last person she’d seen cry was Danica, and Zoe was always quick to swoop in and comfort her. And it was always because of a patient, who was sick or who died. She had no idea what had upset Helia to the point of tears, and she wasn’t sure that she really wanted to know.

Despite herself, she crossed over to her and sat in the chair beside her. Helia looked up at the scrape of wood against the floor as Indigo pulled the chair out, and she hurriedly tried to make herself look decent. The girls sat in silence for a moment, and Indigo glanced around the dining room as she waited for Helia to speak. She was content to take in the decorations on the walls, and the blue and yellow paint splattered designs here and there- mainly along the trims. She tried to imagine what it had been like to grow up here, in a house full of love, and people. To have a gentle mother, and a kind father.

Not that she really knew how Leo’s parents had been. But from what she’d gathered, his mother was so full of warmth it overshadowed her slightly unstable smile. Leo had mentioned that his father was gone often, however, so it made Indigo suspicious. Even if he wasn’t a nominee for world’s best father, Leo was blinded by how much he probably missed him. It was easy to look up to a parent you never saw.

“You don’t have anything to say to me?” Helia finally broke the silence, and Indigo looked at her in confusion.

“I came to make sure you were okay,” Indigo said. And also to get away from Zoe, but Helia didn’t need to know that. “You left in a hurry.”

“I just…” Helia sighed, lifting her head to look at the decorated walls and painted trims. “Jeremy, is a loaded topic. And Leo and Drew love to make it clear that they think I’m an i***t for seeing him.”

“I don’t think they think you’re an i***t,” Indigo said honestly. “I think they’re worried about you. I think they love you very much, and they’re scared that this guy is going to hurt you. Maybe they’re seeing something that you aren’t.”

Helia scoffed quietly. “That’s all I ever hear. Love here, and love there. I don’t know. Why does everything have to do with love? Why can’t I just have fun?”

That confused Indigo again. How could love ever be separated from anything? It was the only thing that humans shared with all of the creatures she had met and fought. Love and spite were the only two drives that sentinel creatures had. And most of the time, spite had previously been love.

“Love is everywhere,” Indigo said. She thought about her mother’s harsh words and heavy hands. She thought about Ducky, sitting alone in motel rooms while Indigo and their mother went on dangerous missions without her. She thought about Margot’s desperation to keep her girls safe. She thought about Danica taking her in without question when her life had fallen apart. “It’s the only constant thing we have, is love. I’m sorry, but you should be very grateful that you’re surrounded by it.”

“I guess,” Helia said quietly. “But I don’t feel very lucky. It feels so… suffocating.”

‘She has a habit of finding ways to suffocate’, is what Leo had said. Indigo thought it had been mean in the moment, but she was understanding what he’d meant the longer this conversation went on. How could someone surrounded with so much warmth and so many opportunities choose to hurt herself instead? How could she stand to drown?

“I think that maybe you like to hurt,” Indigo said after a moment, earning a startled look from Helia. The second time she’d said something apparently offensive. Cold or not, Indigo had never seen the point in placing things gently. That wasn’t how things got done, nor was it the quickest way to prove a point. But Helia had reacted like she’d been stabbed twice now, and Indigo was a little concerned at how easily her feelings were hurt.

“I think that you’re a little rude for opinions in things that you don’t understand,” Helia said, as if Indigo couldn’t fathom being in a push and pull relationship. But that wasn’t the argument, and Indigo wasn’t going to waste her breath going back and forth on how good of a source she was for love advice.

She settled on a shrug. “All I know is what I see. And I see your friends doing nothing but wanting the best for you. I don’t think they’re as much your enemy as you’ve convinced yourself of.”

Helia took that surprisingly well, and gave another mournful sigh. “Maybe. I don’t know. I guess you’re probably right.”

“I usually am,” Indigo said. She didn’t mean it to be funny, but it wracked a laugh out of Helia regardless.

“I feel a lot better. Thank you,” Helia said, standing up. Again, Indigo thought it was strange how quickly her mood had shifted for a five minute conversation. But Helia’s mental wellness wasn’t her issue, despite how big and brown her eyes were, and how nice her hair smelled up close like this. Indigo offered her a nod in response, and Helia stood up.

She patted Indigo’s shoulder and told her she was heading back outside, and Indigo gave her what she could of a smile. Helia left, and Indigo did her best not to watch her go. Once she heard the sliding door shut, she relaxed. It was just her and the spirit of the house, now. Finally, she was back in a familiar environment.