dragon raja

Loneliness（1）

Dormitory 303, Area 1.

"In short, the abbreviation of the ability assessment exam is EEEI, and the correct spelling is E×traction Evailration Exarn, which originally means bloodline assessment exam. It is mainly used to identify students' dragon bloodline. Dragon blood descendants have a very obvious resonance with 'dragon text'. The Dragon Emperor and the Dragon King both have the ability of 'word spirit', which means that within his ability, what he says will become a rule. 'Language' is a tool for the dragon race to exert their abilities." Finkel explained to Lu Mingfei in a nagging manner, "Some students have a high proportion of dragon blood, but they inherit the 'junk genes' of the dragon race, so their abilities are insufficient, so they will be demoted after passing the EEE, and those who are really unqualified will be expelled."

"I didn't apply for it," Lu Mingfei said with a bitter face, "I was trafficked, okay? And I was ordered to drop out of school?"

"But we still have to erase your memory of being here. You signed a consent form when you enrolled. Besides, if you go home now, won't you miss this year's college entrance examination?"

“This is an unfair clause! He wrote the consent form in Latin…” No one listened to Lu Mingfei’s words. Professor Guderian was very puzzled that his new student with “amazing potential” had no resonance with the basic ritual spells of the dragon clan. He claimed that he had encountered an academic problem, so he went to the library in deep thought.

The dormitory fell silent for a short time. The window was open. Lu Mingfei sat on his lower bunk, his head drooped, looking at the beautiful full moon outside the window. The moonlight was projected on the red tiles of the church spire, and the comfortable night breeze blew on his body. This quiet beauty gave him an illusion. In fact, all the unpleasant things were illusions. He just came to an American university and was about to start a new student life. Now he just met his senior who was very much like an elder brother. As long as he lay down and have a good sleep, the sun will shine on him tomorrow, which is very beautiful. The dragon, the destructive alchemical weapons hidden in the "ice cellar", the two factions that wanted his life, and Nuonuo's handsome boyfriend... will all disappear.

Yes, it disappeared and everything returned to normal.

He thought about it blankly, and a smile appeared on the corner of his mouth. This was a skill he had practiced for many years. Whenever he felt that something was not going well and exceeded his tolerance limit, he would face the moonlight coming through the window and think that these were all fake. In fact, everything was fine. He could sleep well and wake up tomorrow because it would be a holiday and he didn't have to go to school. Who cares about other things?

"You're smiling lewdly." Finkel lowered his head from the upper bunk, his messy hair hanging down like a dead lotus pod.

"You look like a hanged ghost." After effective self-persuasion, Lu Mingfei entered a noble state of not being happy with things or sad with himself, and he was carefree.

Fight back against Finkel.

"Have you ever tried brainwashing?"

"No, but I can wash dishes and clothes." Lu Mingfei answered calmly. He thought Finkel must be trying to scare him. The best way at this time was to show him a poker face, like Lu Mingze rolling his eyes and saying to Lu Mingfei, "I saw Chen Wenwen and a guy from Class 2 shopping in a bookstore today." He didn't know what to say, but Chen Wenwen laughed so happily. Lu Mingfei would raise his head, put on a dull face and say, "What? Brother, are you talking to me?" Lu Wuze couldn't break his thick skin, so he could only retreat temporarily in discouragement.

"Actually, brainwashing isn't uncomfortable, but after it's over I always feel a little stupid," Finkel didn't follow Lu Mingfei's train of thought at all, and continued on his own, "Didn't a philosopher in China say that people suffer because they have a good memory? Stupid people are good, stupid people don't suffer."

Lu Mingfei was stunned for a moment. “That wasn’t said by some philosopher. It was said by a man named Ouyang Feng in a movie called Ashes of Time… I think I’m stupid enough.”

"If you feel that there is something in your heart that you can't remember clearly but is very important, will you think about it all day long? Are you afraid that if you don't think about it, you will forget it forever?" Finkel had a serious expression, as if he was discussing some important matter about his outlook on life and the world with him. However, Lu Mingfei knew that Finkel was just comforting him by saying that even if he failed the damn 3E exam, it would only be a brainwashing, and then he could start a new life easily. But this question made Lu Mingfei think for a long time. He nodded, "Of course I will think about it. I am most afraid of the feeling of remembering something but not being able to remember what it is.

"

"That's not possible for you," Finkel sighed, "Brainwashing is like that. You always feel like you've forgotten something. If you have a good attitude, it's fine. If you have a bad attitude, you'll rack your brains."

"So what if I can do it or not? I don't know Korean, let alone Longwen. I will definitely fail the exam tomorrow. If I fail, I will be brainwashed and go home to repeat the year. If I don't get into university, I will be unemployed... I hope the brainwashing won't be too painful." Lu Mingfei said softly, sighing for no reason.

Finkel was silent for a while, "You just sighed."

"I know. I've been through so many upheavals in the day. Can't I just sigh at night? I shouldn't have been so impulsive as to accept that admission letter. I know that good things can never happen to me."

"You don't want to go back to China." Finkel said suddenly.

Lu Mingfei was stunned, not understanding what Finkel meant. Finkel suddenly used a very affirmative tone, as if he wanted to remind him of something.

"I don't care. I don't care about many things. Why should I care about anything?" Lu Mingfei put his hands behind his head and leaned against the head of the bed. This bed was really comfortable. Kassel College was indeed an aristocratic school as Professor Guderian said. The environment and equipment were first-class. But he was leaving here.

"You don't want to go back to China," Finkel said again.

"What? Brother, are you talking to me?" Lu Mingfei knew that he was resisting, and he suddenly wanted to cover his ears and not hear anything.

Finkel grabbed the mattress of the upper bunk with both hands, turned over with great difficulty, and slowly sat on Lu Mingfei's lower bunk. "In fact, Kassel Academy is really nothing good. You don't even have dragon resonance. Even if you have dragon blood, I guess you inherited a bunch of useless garbage genes. Why don't you go back to China? It's not bad. You are not the kind of hot-blooded boy in the comics who would shout 'My destiny is to travel around the world and kill dragons', right?"

"Brother, I didn't say it's not good. I can only go back to China, right?" Lu Mingfei didn't know what to say when facing Finkel's silver-gray eyes of Aryan descent.

"But you sigh." said Finkel.

Lu Mingfei was silent for a few seconds, and suddenly a stream of fire rushed up from his sternum. He shouted angrily at Finkel, "You keep nagging, what do you want? Why should I care about you? Aren't you a loser who hasn't graduated in so many years? You are so impressive? You still owe me money? How many cups of Coke did you drink from me? Pay me back or shut up?"

He regretted it the moment he said it. Finger might be his only friend here. Nono, whom he once thought was a friend, is now with a man who is determined to kill him? Actually, Finger just means well. He probably read too many philosophy books, so he is pedantic. But compared to those people who look at you with cold and hostile eyes, isn't a cynic quite cute?

Finkel patted Lu Mingfei on the shoulder and said, "Brother, you are so angry."

Lu Mingfei looked at Finkel's serious face under his messy hair and lowered his head helplessly.

"You've been asking me to drop out of school. Is it too late for me to drop out now?" Finkel said. "I almost thought you were serious."

Lu Mingfei shook his head. “I’m not kidding. I really think so when I say that. By the way, why don’t you drop out of Kassel College? What’s so good about this place? You’ve been studying there for eight years…”

"Will you die if you don't poke someone's scar?"

"Oh, then just briefly talk about your mental journey."

"Because of 'Blood Sorrow'." Finkel shrugged.

"Blood sorrow?" This was the first time Lu Mingfei heard this term.

"When the proportion of dragon blood reaches a certain level, you are no longer considered a real human. This bloodline will give you superhuman abilities, but it will also give you a huge sense of alienation. Only contact between dragons can eliminate this sense of alienation. Therefore, high-purity dragon bloodline will naturally make descendants gather together. This is determined by genes. The dragon race relies on the ability of "Blood Sorrow" to gather together from all over the world. Usually, once the descendants of the dragon race understand their identity, they will feel like their souls are awakening from the depths..." Finkel suddenly widened his eyes, "Wait a minute... Have you never had this feeling?

Never felt particularly... lonely?"

“Lonely, 7” Lu Mingfei looked up at the ceiling, thinking back to the past 18 years of his life, and shook his head blankly, “I’m not lonely.”

Finkel scratched his head. "To judge whether you are lonely or not, we must first see whether you understand what loneliness is. Come, define loneliness."

“Are you philosophical again? Loneliness… is that feeling where you really want to find someone to accompany you, to talk to you, and have a lot to say, but there’s no one there, right?” Lu Mingfei suddenly thought of the “Lonely Snake”, and this mean guy smiled as if he had succeeded in his evil plan under such circumstances.

"The philosophical definition should be that you feel that you are different from the people or environment around you and lack communication channels, which leads to a negative emotion."

Finkel asked, "Do you feel that you are different from the people around you?"

"No, except that I don't have parents. They like girls, and so do I."

"When we were at the Chicago train station, I saw you were just daydreaming.

What were you thinking about when you were daydreaming?"

Lu Mingfei looked up at the ceiling, thought for a while, and shook his head. "Actually, I can't really explain it. I just feel quiet when I look far away. It helps me kill time. I'm like this at home, too. I don't have any friends to play with anyway."

"What are other people doing while you're daydreaming?"

Lu Mingfei was stunned. “I haven’t thought about it.”

Finkel slapped his thigh, "This is loneliness! It's caused by the blood sorrow!"

Lu Mingfei felt a little horrified. He never thought that he had lived alone for so many years without knowing it. His powerful dragon bloodline doomed him to loneliness and desolation. This made him feel very tall and powerful...

“Actually… I really don’t feel lonely or anything…” After struggling for a while, Lu Mingfei felt that he should tell the truth.

"You have no parents, and you don't have any advantages except playing games. You can't pick up girls and your grades are not good. You don't even have a friend who is close to you. How can you not be lonely?" This time it was Finkel's turn to be puzzled.

“But what if you feel lonely? Feeling lonely just makes you feel worse.” Lu Mingfei spread his hands, “No one talked to you before, and no one talked to you even when you felt lonely.”

Finkel was stunned for a moment, and repeated Lu Mingfei's words that seemed like a paradox but also like the truth, "You feel lonely... but no one talks to you... It seems to make sense..."

"In fact, as long as you find a way to make yourself happier, you won't feel lonely or anything. It's also very interesting to be in a daze alone. I used to be in a daze on the terrace of my building at night, thinking about this and that, and the whole night would pass by in a flash." Lu Mingfei seemed to be trying to comfort Finkel.

"You are such a strange animal. May I ask what you are thinking about?"

Lu Mingfei was stunned for a moment, scratched his head and couldn't answer.

In fact, he knew the answer, but it was difficult to say it out loud. If he did, Finkel would only laugh at him and say that this way of killing time was really cold and sad. On those nights, Lu Mingfei would concentrate on his fingertips, use his hand as a gun to point at the traffic lights at the intersection and say "bang", imagining that a spirit bullet flew from his fingertips and the traffic lights immediately changed color, thus proving that he had some kind of magical ability. This little game would occasionally succeed, but most of the time it failed, and Lu Mingfei thought that he was not concentrating enough, so he closed his eyes and thought for a while before using his hand to make a gun again.

Shoot, say "bang".

The virtual gunshots drifted away with the night wind and dissipated into the pitch-black darkness.

He sometimes suspected that it was this habit that made him a talented marksman in shooting, but it was this talent that got him caught in the gap between the two factions the moment he stepped into Kassel Academy.

"So," Finkel shrugged, "although your life was boring before, you didn't feel lonely. You didn't respond to the mystical spells of Dragon King Nidhogg, and 'Blood Sorrow' had no effect on you. You were just an ordinary person... Why don't you want to go back to China?"

Lu Mingfei rolled his eyes and thought, slowly, his head lowered. He felt tired, his elbows rested on his knees, his head drooped, and his hands scratched his head.

"I really think that the 'S' grade is a mistake. I really think I am very ordinary...but at home," he hesitated for a moment and said softly, "I have nothing. If there is nothing at home, will you go back?" He raised his head, frowned, and looked at Finkel with a bitter face.

Finger didn't say anything, just stared at Lu Mingfei silently, and something flashed across his silver-grey pupils. Was it sympathy or some secretion of loneliness? Lu Mingfei couldn't tell.

"Wild lilies also have their spring, and the little wild seeds also want to sprout," Lu Mingfei looked around, "You said that although I am an ordinary person, I also want people to pay attention to me, I also want girls to like me, and I also want to have something to brag about... I can't just be a passerby for the rest of my life just because I have no ability and am ordinary, right? What's the point of that? But I really have nothing at home," he spread his hands, "nothing... I'm hungry, do you have anything to eat?"

Finkel seemed to share the same feeling and nodded slightly. "There's none here. I'll call the restaurant for evening service. Did they give you the student ID? Give it to me."

"Wow! The restaurant has evening service? This is a luxury hotel, right?" Lu Mingfei became a little more energetic and took out his student ID from the plastic file bag.

He handed it to Finkel and asked, "Do all students have this service?"

"This card does more than just allow you to order dinner at night. You'll understand later." Finkel read out Lu Mingfei's student ID number. "Please send two truffle breads, two pan-fried goose livers with lemon juice, and a bottle of champagne to Dormitory 303, Area 1... Yes, an ice bucket and lemon peel, and a roast goose. We're a little hungry. Two herring rolls with cheese."