Arranged Marriage that turns into LOVE

Roka Ceremony

29. Roka Ceremony 

Sid wanted to celebrate our first success with me and Pooja but I have to push him away as I have more things on my plate that I am bound to attend to.

I am feeling little bad for him.

‘It is you….who always decline the offers of that poor soul like this only.’

My inner voice yelled at me.

I know but I can't help this.

I told to my inner voice.

Thinking about it I boarded the metro, cautious of keeping the track of my metro station.

I don’t want to miss my station like last time. Again.

As soon I reached home, I started to pack my things in a duffle bag as I have to go to my Aunt’s house.

I will be helping Preet in getting ready for today’s Roka Ceremony. And after helping her, I will be changing my clothes at her place only.

So here I am packing my dress and accessories for today’s function.

“Okay so I am all set to go!”

I said lifting my bag and dangling it on my shoulder and I motioned towards her place.

Function will be at a small banquet hall near my Aunt’s place.

We will be going to Gurudwara Sahib for Ardaas of Roka Ceremony in the presence of Guru Granth Sahib ji and perform our customs and traditions.

(Ardaas—  Ardaas means a request, a prayer, a petition or an address to a superior authority. It is done before performing or after undertaking any significant task; after reciting the daily Banis (prayers); or completion of a service like the Paath, kirtan (hymn-singing) program or any other religious program. In Sikhism, these prayers are also said before and after eating.

The prayer is a plea to God to support and help the devotee with whatever he or she is about to undertake or has done.)

And after that we will go to banquet hall for celebration party and dinner.

After reaching their place I quickly ushered towards her room, where she will be waiting for me.

My Aunt grabbed my arm and paused in between.

“Noor beta, tu hun aa rahi hai… Preet kado di teri raah udeek rhi si.”

She told me.

(Noor my child, you are coming this late…Preet was waiting for you from so long)

“Oh Chachi ji …aaj office bahut important meeting si meri…udhey karke thoda late ho gayi…koi ni….tusi chinta na karo Preet nu mein sohni tarah tyaar kar dwaangi.” I replied her back.

(Oh Aunty…today there was a very important meeting in my office… because of that I got little late…but you don’t worry…I’ll get Preet ready and she will look beautiful)

“Oh te menu pata hai…par time dekh le…ghadi vich 3 vaje ne te mehmaan saare 5 vaje aana shuru ho jangey…tusi dona ne tyaar hona hai…dekhi kittey late na ho jana” she informed me.

(That I know very well…but have a glance at time….The Clock is hitting 3 pm right now and the guest will start coming at 5 pm….you both have to get ready… so don’t get late.)

“HANJI …mein challaan??” I asked her

(YES…Shall I go??)

She just patted my shoulder instead of telling me to go.

I entered her room and loudly said,

“So we have 2 hours to get ourselves ready for the function.”

She looked at me joy-filled eyes as I entered in her room with my bag.

She took me in a warm hug.

“Oh thank God Noor, you came finally …I was so worried thinking what if you will not come??” she said with tears filled eyes.

“Oh …long story…leave it and …let’s get started” said hugging her back.

She quickly changed in her outfit. It was a long navy blue coloured Anarkali suit with churidaar pyjami and beautiful embroidered dupatta.

After she changed in her dress, I did her makeup and hairs.

Because it is her Roka ceremony and wedding is after almost 2 months away. I decided to go with light makeup on her.

I set her hairs styling them in loose curls using a curling iron and the half tied them using a studded hair clutching accessory.

I helped her with her accessories too.

Oh my my…she was looking so beautiful.

When she was ready I decided to get ready. I glanced at the clock and it was already 4:40 pm.

Oh God …I need to rush…or I will be late.

I quickly put on my dress and applied my usual kohl and lip gloss.

I tied my hairs in a pony tail and put on my simple accessories that are few bangles on my wrist that are matching to my dress, a heart shaped pendant with a sleek chain in my neck and matching heart shaped studs in my ears and my lovelies, my favorite Punjabi Jutti in my feet.

Oops!! I forgot to tell you what I am wearing to the Roka Function today.

I am wearing a Baby Pink coloured plazzo suit with beautiful bordered dupatta with it.

And I am ready to go.

Soon we reached Gurudwara Sahib with our presents for the groom and his family.

That includes big tray filled up of Dry Fruits called ‘Thaal’, 7 Boxes of Sweets, 7 small baskets of Fruits, Clothes for Groom and his parents along with Sagan (Cash amount in an envelope).

My Papa, Deep veerji (My cousin, Preet’s brother) and Kamal Veerji welcomed Groom and his family at Gurudwara Sahib.

After they all settled in Gurudwara sahib, Bhai ji (Priest) called soon to be couple in centre in front of Guru Granth sahib ji (Our Sikh Guru, God).

They both stand in centre behind Bhai ji and we all stand a step back behind them.

Bhai ji (Priest) started doing Ardaas to Guru Sahib and asked his (God’s) permission and blessing to do the Roka Ceremony of the couple present in front of them and also ask to shower their blessings for their future life and happiness and prosperity.

After the Ardaas, the Kada Prashad is given to the new would be couple and then to others.

(Kada/ Karah Prashad— In Sikhism, Karah is a type of whole wheat flour halva made with equal portions of whole-wheat flour, clarified butter, and sugar. It is offered to all visitors in a Gurdwara sahib. As a sign of humanity and respect, visitors accept the Prashad sitting, with hands raised and cupped. The offering and receiving of this food is a vital part of hospitality protocols. It has the same amount of whole-wheat flour, clarified butter and sugar, to emphasize the equality of men and women. The Sewadar serves it out of the same bowl to everyone in equal portions. The Karah prasad is a sacred food; if it is not accepted, it may be interpreted by some Sikhs as an insult. It is shared out equally among all. It is a symbol showing that everyone is equal.)

Then the present were exchanged. The Groom’s parents give presents and Sagan to Girl (Bride) and similarly the Bride’s parents give presents and Sagan to Groom.

After this all relatives congratulates the new would be couple and feed them sweets.

After all were done wishing and congratulating them, finally I got my chance to wish them.

“Many Many congratulations to both of you…Hi Jiju, I am Rabnoor, Preet’s Cousin”

I said smiling shyly.

(Jiju or Jija ji is referred to brother in law specifically for sister’s husband.)

“Oh Hi Rabnoor” he said to me and extended his hand for a hand shake saying,

“I am Divjyot…and It is really nice to meet you… Saali Sahiba” he said with a wink.

(Saali – is referred to wife’s Sister, whereas sahiba is used as an endearment for Princess)

Here in India Jija and Saali share a very special relationship. Their relation consists of lot of teasing and fun. Because there is an old saying said by elders that is

“Saali Aadhi Gharwali”

 Saali is Wife’s Sister; Aadhi is Half and Gharwali is Wife. So it means WIFE’S SISTER IS HALF WIFE.

Not actually just to tease each other. They use to play pranks too.

All just for fun…nothing serious.

On seeing him winking at me, I remembered this old saying and I blushed.

And seeing me blushing, laughter erupted from Jiju.

After that I gave them both the present which was packed in a box that I brought for them.

It was a beautiful couple broach set.

They both liked my present and thanked me for the same.

Divjyot Jiju took it from the box and asked me to help him to fix it on his blazer.

I shook my head on refusing what he said to me and said, “Eh kaam te tuhadi hon wali biwi hi kar sakdi hai…main nahi…kyun Preet??”

(This only can be done by your would be wife …not me…what you say Preet??)

“Rabnoor …tu vi kar sakdi hai…tu vi te meri biwi lagi” he said wiggling his eye brows.

(Rabnoor…you can also do it…you too are my wife)

On listening his words, Preet and I were beyond shocked.

We looked each other in shocked face.

“What??” I said with confused tone.

“Oh ho…bhave addhi hi sahi” he said laughing.

(Oh Ho…although only half)

I opened my mouth to say something but realizing his words, I shook my head in disbelief.

And we three laughed hard.

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With this Gurudwara Roka Ceremony is over and now we will be going to the banquet hall for party and dinner.

And one more important custom is to be done in banquet only i.e. ‘Dudh Pilaan Di Rasam’

In this custom, Birde’s mother brings specially prepared milk for Groom and makes him drink it from her hands.

This milk is prepared by bride’s mother only. Milk is prepared by adding dry fruits such as Almonds, Cashew, Cardamom and Saffron.

After groom take one big gulp of milk, bride’s mother passes the glass to bride’s sister, cousins and friends so that they can also make groom drink milk from their hand too.

After this custom, we all headed to dance floor for party leaving would be couple on centre stage where they are sitting on a big couch specially seated for bride and groom.

We took lots of pictures with them.

I was also going toward the dance floor when my aunt called me and instructed me stay by Preet’s side all the time to help her with gifts that all relatives are giving them.

I nodded on her words and went to stage and stand besides her.

Relatives of both groom and bride’s side were coming to stage where new couple is sitting to congratulate them and blessing them.

Some were presenting them with gifts and others were giving them Sagan (Cash in beautiful envelopes)

I was helping her with gifts and all and placing them on a table on corner of stage.

I was standing near the table away from the couch, when I saw a lady coming on stage with Kamal Veerji and Deep Veerji.

‘Who is this lady ??

‘Why my both veerji’s are following her??’

I thought

She blessed the both of them and gave them a square shaped gift box along with sagan envelope for both of them.

After that that lady and my both Veerji’s came to my side.

Kamal Veerji introduced us to each other saying,

“Aunty ji, she is Rabnoor my sister and Rabnoor, she is …um…my boss’s mother...Mrs. Ahluwalia.”

She was one graceful lady maybe in her late forty’s. She was smiling towards me and her eyes were so shining. She had a glow on her skin. She was looking beautiful in her earthen brown Saree which she had draped so gracefully.   

“Sat Sri Akal ji” I greeted her joining my hand together and smiling towards her.

She looked me from my head to toe before taking one step towards me.

She gripped my both arms near my shoulder and stared at my face for a while before taking me in hug and greeted me back with “Sat Sri Akal Beta ji”

(Sat Sri Akal is a sikh greeting and Ji is used to show respect. And Beta is used for Child)

I was stunned on my place with her this gesture.

‘What is going on???’

‘Why this unknown lady…no specifically my brother’s boss’s mother took me in hug??’

‘As if she knows me or I knows her’

I thought.

She releases me from the hug and I eyed her confused about her gesture.

To my utter surprise she reached for my loose strands of hairs that were now falling on my face due to this sudden hug and she tugged them behind my ear before placing her fingers under my chin and said,  

“Bahot hi pyaari bachi hai…rab tenu sada kush rakhey!!”

(You are such a sweet child ….May God keep you happy forever!!)

She said this and I got more puzzled. I tore my gaze from her and looked towards my brothers.

And guess what they did??

They just shrugged it …as if just now nothing happened.

She caressed my cheeks one last time and left the stage leaving me bewildered by her actions.

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Third Person’s P.O.V

After leaving the stage Mrs. Ahluwalia asked Kamal and Deep to take her to their parents.

Noor’s Aunt, her father and mother were sitting on a table along with Noor’s grandmother.

Kamaljeet (Kamal, Rabnoor’s brother) and Hardeep (Deep, Rabnoor’s Cousin brother) both are working in same company under their common Boss RAJVEER SINGH AHLUWALIA.

Do you guys remember few days back when Kamal and Noor were fighting for ice cream and she was about to throw Kamal’s phone. She saw someone calling her brother named ‘Rajveer’. That was the same Rajveer.

As per her request they took their Boss, Rajveer’s mother, Mrs. Ahluwalia to their parents and introduced her to them.

She joined them on table. After a formal introduction and general talk, Mrs. Ahluwalia broke the silence.

“menu ghooma firah ke gal karni ni aandi ji…taan mein sidda sidda boldi haan…mein tuhadi kudi bare Kamal te Deep toh pata lageya si…te mein sachi dasa, menu oh apne bete layi bahut pasand aayi hai… agar tuhanu koi aitraaz na hove taan…mein tuhadi kudi Rabnoor da hath apne bete Rajveer vaastey mangdi haan”

(I don’t like to beat around the bush…so I directly come to the main topic….i got to know about your daughter from Kamal and Deep….if I tell you the truth, I really liked her for my son…if you don’t mind…I would like to ask your daughter Rabnoor’s hand for my Son Rajveer for marriage.”

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Hello Dear Readers,

Here is another chapter from the story about Punjabi/Sikh Customs of Roka Ceremony.

Mrs. Ahluwalia, Rajveer’s mother asked for Rabnoor’s hand for marriage for her son. Will Noor’s parent agree to her or not?? How Noor’s marriage proposal came all of a sudden??

Who is this Rajveer?? No one knows about Rajveer except Kamal and Deep.

Let’s see what happens next…to know about all of this…keep reading

Please comment and let me know if you like it. Your comments mean a lot to me. Don’t leave without a comment.

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