My Sin City

Chapter 3

Emily***

Fear, my greatest fear! It engulfed me, and I rushed into the room, crying loudly. It felt like my whole world collapsed on me that instant. Running, my hastily tied towel slipped out, my naked body visible to Mr Phil, but I cared less.

Picking up my phone, my tears clouded my eyes, I couldn’t see properly, and my hands were shaking vigorously.

I felt someone trying to cover my nudity, but I scared him away screaming “Leave me alone, leave me alone!!” It was Jason.

I dialed Sophia’s number and it went straight to voicemail. Second, third, fourth, fifth, all the same.

I crumpled to the floor, crying, hitting myself for not being there with her, blaming myself for not protecting her. I knew it wasn’t my fault, but I still blamed myself, it was the only right thing to do.

I checked the time, 7:58 pm. The police close by don’t close till 9 pm. I hurriedly put on my clothes, dashing out, hearing Jason scream, “Even if you go to the police, there’s absolutely nothing they can do!” I knew he was right, others had also gone to file a missing person report but had never been found. But I shut him an “I hate you look” How dare he say that to me at my most vulnerable moment.

Sophie wasn’t even a missing person yet, it had to be a whole 24 hours.

I flagged down a taxi, and when I reached there, I was marveled. All tables were filled with paperwork, the walls were decorated with missing person posters, and I broke down again. Soon Sophia’s picture would be up.

I explained all that happened to them, and just like I thought, they told me to come back after 24 hours to file a legal report. It was mad with anger, even if I were to come back tomorrow, as Jason said earlier, they weren’t still going to find her.

The tears poured out from me, from my soul, I tried to picture the last clothes she wore, her surprise when the door was broken, her fear when she was being abducted.

“Sophia!” I cried out and in rage, I sent my phone crashing, destroying it. The cracks on the screen were the exact replica of my heart at that moment. Broken and shattered, and I wasn’t sure it could ever be mended.

I bent down to throw up, but there was nothing in my stomach to spill, so I just made gag noises, painful once. Once a green substance came out, once I choked on my own saliva.

When I had drained all the tears in me, alongside my strength, I realized that I had wandered far from the police station. I looked back but the office looked locked. I needed to get home.

I brought up my phone to try and call Jason, so he could come pick me up, but I remembered that I had spoilt it. f**k me!

If I were to wait, I didn’t know how long it’ll take Jason to come and find me. And if I left this place, it’ll make it even harder for him to locate me. But I couldn’t just stay in the darkness.

I tried flagging down a cab, but I guess it didn’t notice me, cause it sped across me. Fear engulfed me. I wanted to tell myself that nothing was coming for me, cause it had already taken a victim that night. But I hated myself more for thinking like that. Poor Sophia, I thought as I started another wave of tears.

Luckily for me, I had managed to jog all the way home. I was sweaty even on the cold night, more from fear than from the jogging.

Because we always went home in the evenings, I had forgotten how scary and ominous the dark could be. It was like something was always reaching out, stretching its hands to grab you. The streets were empty and it felt eerie. All doors shut tight for fear of the night's mystery.

There had never been an incident of this mysterious man breaking into someone’s home. Unless Sophia had gone out to get something, but why? I thought as I reached my door.

Anger replaced the fear in me as I got inside, Jason had left me all alone. Why didn’t he go after me?

But the anger was short-lived, the next scene that played froze me.

There, Sophia was, in Jason’s embrace, their face towards each other, their lips enclosing each other, Jason’s hands were placed on her ass and she was moaning into his mouth.

“What the actual f**k!!!” I screamed, startling them, my head dizzy from hunger and tiredness. I used my hands to dictate a chair and sat down.

Jason stared at me like a robot put on pause mood, while Sophia came kneeling. “It’s not what you think, Emily, look at me, it’s not that,..I had an emergency..my dad was rushed to the clinic, so my mum sent a driver to come pick me up cause we weren’t sure he’d make it across the night, …to say my goodbye…that was…I left in a hurry..and when I was dropped..no..my dad didn’t die..he’s okay…but sick, and when I came home, Mr.Phil told me and I came here..and Jason was shocked so we embraced and …it’s not what you think..Emily he was just scared!!!”

I looked at Sophia, I could see her mouth moving, but I couldn’t make out what was being said. I looked at Jason but I didn’t see him, I turned sideways, and he was holding my legs, begging I guess, but still couldn’t make out what they were saying. It felt like my soul was detached from me.

I stood up, pushed them away, and started walking. I reached the balcony and stood there for a while. And just as if something had snapped inside me, I screamed at the top of my voice. I didn’t mind that it was late and I was disturbing people. It felt like if I didn’t scream that way, I might as well explode.

My relationship of 18 years with Sophia, and that of Jason which was 2 years, all gone to the bin.

A part of me knew I was definitely going to forgive the both of them, though things wouldn’t be like before, I’d forgive them. I wasn’t the type to keep things at heart. But I couldn’t help but wonder if she had had eyes for my man ever since the day we started dating.

“How could she?” I heard myself say aloud, walking. I felt the rain pouring on me, and I said “Yes, wash away that picture,” the picture of my best girl, perfectly embraced in the arms of my man. But I knew that it was already embroidered into my heart.

I felt cold, the rain had beat me enough, so I turned to go back, wondering if I’d sleep in the same bed as Jason. “No!”

I was almost home, I could see my house when something, a towel, pierced my nose, the smell emitting from it was sharpening. So sharpening that it blocked out my brain, leaving everything pitch black.

And I wondered before I went out, “Is this what it feels like to not think of anything?”