Broken Desire

Chapter 1

I breathed the scent of flowers in the air and put my head on his shoulder. He smiled and reached out his hand to ruffle my blonde hair affectionately. My gaze roamed all around, the blossoming flowers of bluebonnets and primroses in the field were swaying in the wind. I smiled at the sound of wind whispering through the trees behind us. The hill area was one of the most beautiful view that my town had. I spent all my life here, glancing at the hills, fields and woods.

“ I will miss these things in California,” I mumbled softly and lifted my head from his shoulder to ask him, “ Have you missed them too there?”

“ Don’t worry, Avy. I don’t let you miss these things in California,” he responded in a playful tone as his eyes were still on the field.

He was the only person who called me Avy and I loved it.

He faced me and smirked. My breath got stuck in my throat as I stared at his handsome face. His raven black hair was messy, giving him a cute look. His hazel eyes were the most beautiful thing I was staring at. He had sharp jawline and perfect features. Zayden Walker was a wonder for me. Whenever I saw him I couldn’t get enough of him. Every time when my gaze fell on him, my wild heart started to pound in my chest so fast. I had a strange type of relationship with him. We were not friends but I knew him since childhood. I shared a special kind of bond with him. He lived nearby so I came across him oftentimes. We went to same school and he was one year older than me. When he reached the high school, I noticed everyone knew about him, in other words he was popular in the school. I never talked to him there but I felt his attention on me whenever we crossed each other. I came in the field for many years since my grandma had brought me here. One day I’d seen a boy around twelve years old and recognized him immediately. Zayden Walker, the boy who lived in the luxurious looking mansion of the town. I had met him before in some parties and gatherings besides my grandma and his grandma were besties.

That day we had talked for the first time. He was twelve and I was eleven. Since then we had started coming here but we hadn’t talked to each other much. We just used to sit down and stared at the hills and the flowers.

Zayden had been a mystery to me that I’d began to solve once he sat down beside me. I didn’t know when I began to fall for him. All I knew I loved him madly, deeply and passionately.

Last year, on a starry night, he kissed me for the first time. I couldn’t forget the taste of mint as his tongue collided with mine. That night was bliss to me however I knew the next day he was going to Berkeley. He applied for Berkeley and got selected. He went there for college. But we were always in touch. We talked for hours and never got bored. I texted him cute and funny emojis and he laughed on them.

This year, I had applied for Berkeley and Standford. If I got selected for Berkeley, it would mean I would live with my Zayden. The thought of living with him made me excited. I fantasied how would he love me. How would I feel his hand on every inch of my body.

“ Avy, I’ll announce the world that we are going to date each other. So no one could dare to stare at you with desire to get you.” Zayden wrapped his hand around my waist and pulled me toward him. My upper body collided with his and our faces were just an inch apart. My breath got quickened as his hot breath fell on my cheeks. My heart fluttered in my chest as our lips touched. His lips were soft and pulpy. My whole body shivered as his hand tilted my head toward him.

His tongue ran across my bottom lips and I raked my hand through his hair. My mouth immediately opened and he slid his tongue inside into the warmth of my mouth. It felt heavenly and stellar. I moaned into his mouth as heat started to swell into my body. I melt into him and responded back eagerly. Our tongues began devouring each other and he let out a groan. He pulled me closer and deepened the kiss. My hand slid down on his chest and he grabbed a fistful of my hair, hopelessly messing up the hair on the back. We were lost in the continues strokes our tongues were making. I’d never touched a man like this before. Our kiss turned into hot and passionate from slow and sweet. His tongue explored mine hungrily unlike the first time he had kissed me slowly, carefully, as though he would not want to hurt me and made me stop. I had never been kissed by anyone but him. Despite how little experience I had at it. He seemed to enjoy and liked the way I was responding. His hand fell on my waist leaving my head and slowly trailed up my shirt. I moaned again as if his touch set fire on my body. His every kiss and touch could be felt down to my bones, shaking me to my very core.

I could feel my cheeks grow hot and red as we pulled apart breathlessly. He leaned his forehead against mine and we closed our eyes. The silence between us sent a peaceful joy in our minds. I felt him smiling before he pulled himself away.

He stood and pulled me on my feet. I tugged the hair behind my ear as I tried not to blush so hard. He held my wrist and pulled me into his arms. I began to melt against his warmth.

“ You like being here!” he stated grinning. At first I thought he was talking about his embrace but when I lifted my gaze and found him staring at the field filled with flowers, I smiled brightly and nodded.

“ I’ll set our wedding venue near these beautiful field, surrounding by the hills as you like.” His tone was dreamy as if he was imagining what would it be like, our wedding here. We would take vows to become each other’s. I couldn’t possibly response because his word made me forget how to breath for a moment.

Zayden Walker was saying he wanted a life with me. He wanted me to become his bride. Was I dreaming? I pinched myself secretly to assure myself it was real. My chocolate brown eyes scrutinized his face, searching for any lie behind his word. But he looked serious and sincere. He cupped my face as he noticed my eyes were brimmed with tears… happy tears.

“ Avy, I love you so much that I need you in my life for forever,” he confessed. I gasped hearing him saying those words I had been fantasizing for years. Tears slid down on my cheeks as I crashed my body against him. He tightened his grip around my body and placed his chin on the top of my head. My heart filled with happiness.

“ I love you, Zayden,” I whispered softly as a smile played on my lips.

“ I can’t wait to start a official relationship with you.” His tone was bright and jubilant.

I buried my face deep into his chest and the sophisticated and scintillating smell of him engulfed me completely. How could someone smelled so attractively? I broke the embrace and tip toed to place a kiss on his jaw. He smiled and closed his eyes with a heavy sigh. I trailed up the kisses and bit the hard skin at the end of his jaw. A light groan escaped from his mouth and he pushed me away slightly. I stared up at his face and our eyes locked.

“ If that wonderful day comes when you would walk down the aisle as my bride. I’d love to watch you in my grandma’s bridal dress,” he said as his eyes travelled down my body then back to on my face.

“ I know it’s the tradition of your family. Your mom also wore your grandma’s bridal dress,” I exclaimed cheerfully. My mom had told me that it was the most expensive wedding of the town that the local media and newspaper covered. The famous bridal dress designer Estelle Allard came from France to redesign the bridal dress. Walkers were the richest in the whole town now they became one of the richest in the whole country. Zayden’s father, Mr. Thomas Walker ran his business successfully and grew it bigger in all these years that now Walker & Shine corporation reached the top business industries in the country. They sold natural herbs, food, dairy and clothes on the national and international level. They owned many hotels and restaurants as well. My gaze went to his face and I frowned. His eyes were brimmed with sadness and the joy and happiness were long gone from his face. I grabbed his hand and he seemed to snap back from his dismal thoughts. His eyes stared into my brown ones as he took my hand on his.

“ I don’t want you to look like my mother. I want you to be seem like my grandma,” he said as a sad smile appeared on his face. He brought my hand to his lips and kissed my knuckles. “ I want our love real, not the fake one like my parents. My mom doesn’t love my dad and I can’t be sure about my dad too although he shows off how much he loves mom publicly. But I feel it’s just a show for the people because my mom always plays along with him,” he added as his tone was laced with pain.

I gripped his hand and entangled my fingers with his. “ At least they’re holding each other until now.”

“ I wish they would have separate their ways,” he murmured glancing up at the sky. The sun was setting down painting the sky in red and orange hue.

“ You should have not said like that. I know no children want their parents to get divorce, not even you.”

“ You know nothing Avy,” he scoffed and continued, “ You don’t know how terrible it feels when you watch your mother flirting with your dad’s friend and companions she has interest in, at the business parties. You don’t know how does it affect a kid when his parents fight like enemies, ready to cut each other’s throat. My mom doesn’t love my dad a little bit. Perhaps she hates him. My dad isn’t a saint either. I know he also doesn’t care about mom. They’re together just for the sake of their families’ reputation and name. Mom was forced to marry dad since it was an arrangement between their families for the sake of their wealth and business. I heard she even tried to elope from her wedding and I wish she would have succeeded then.” His voice broke at the last sentence.

I didn’t know what to do. It was an infamous rumor that Emily Collins had tried to escape from her wedding on the wedding day and got caught by his older brother at the airport. I didn’t know until now it was true. I couldn’t imagine how much pain Zayden must have felt seeing his parents disliking each other. I couldn’t imagine how would I react if I saw my mom flirting with a strange man at some party in front of me or dad. I was lucky that my parents were like a normal couple. They fought, they loved, they complained, they listened to each other. Zayden had never talked to me about his family besides his grandparents and I understood now why he had avoided to talk about it. He was closed to his grandparents specially his grandma. Mary Walker was a kind and wise woman and not only me but whole town loved her for her kindness.

His eyes were red and face was twitched in pain. I could see his mind was recalling all the bitter and sorrowful memories. I put my palm on his face and brushed his cheek softly.