Mistakes
2258 Words
Anthony skipped dinner and the therapist’s appointment. Despite his desperate need to talk, he dreaded the conversation. He retreated to his room and contemplated today’s epic failure. The Queen had left him alone with his silent, simmering passion. From the first day he had laid eyes on her, he knew he was doomed to disappointment. Nevertheless, it didn’t matter. Nothing seemed to matter anymore.
The next day Anthony’s last class was cancelled, which gave him some spare time he certainly didn’t need.
Although it wasn’t going to be the smartest thing to do, and she would probably still be in class, he thought he might call Claire and ask her to do something with him before going to Tommy’s apartment. He knew she wouldn’t mind if they would be alone together.
He swiped through his cellphone and dialed her number.
“Hi,” Claire answered.
“Hey, Claire. Where are you now?”
“I’m about to go to class. We were supposed to meet after my classes, right?”
“Yes, I know. Um…”
“Are you gonna cancel?”
“No. I was … well, what if we do something before that?” He scratched his eyebrow with his thumb. “Just you and me?”
“Really?” she crowed. “Sure. Where are you?”
“I’m waiting for you in the lot.”
“Okay, I’m coming right away. Just wait there.”
Five minutes later she reached the silver-striped Beetle. “Hey, you.” She gave Anthony a hug. “What got into you?”
“What? A guy can’t ask you out anymore? Hop in.”
She giggled as she got into the car.
Anthony pursed his lips as he walked over to the driver’s side. He paused for a second. His slippery grip tightened around the handle. He inhaled deeply. Can’t back down now. Have to do this.
“So where to?” she asked with a huge grin.
“Anywhere. You choose.” He swallowed.
He stretched his arm toward the glove compartment. At the same time, Claire was reaching for the radio to turn it on. Their hands met. She kept her hand there as long as possible. She wasn’t shy or nervous, unlike him, who drew his hand back to the steering wheel.
“Would you get me a piece of gum, please? It’s right there.” He pointed at the glove compartment.
She grabbed a piece from the pack. She held it with two fingers and reached for Anthony’s mouth to put it there herself.
Anthony’s eyes widened in surprise. He stared at the road. Then he turned and glimpsed at her fingers before he grabbed the piece of gum with his teeth, too careful not to touch her fingers.
Claire laughed, unaware of Anthony’s inner struggle, and took a piece of gum for herself.
“It’s a beautiful day. Can’t believe it’s October, not with all the sun,” she said. “How about something outdoors?”
“Okay,” he said, focusing on the road. “We’ll go to our spot then,”
“Really?”
“What?”
“Nothing, it’s just… you know… it’s been a long time.”
“Yeah, I know. I kinda missed it.”
Memories started to flash in his head. He remembered when he used to go there with the rest of his friends, Emma included. He looked at Claire from the corner of his eye. “I don’t think about her anymore, you know?”
“You don’t?” she asked.
He shook his head and smiled. I think about someone else now. His smile turned into a grimace.
Her eyes sparkled as she gazed through the windshield at the wide green hills and the tall trees surrounding them on the sides. “We’re here. Old Berkeley hills.”
Anthony stopped the car and laid back. “This place is so beautiful. We should have never stopped coming here.”
“Yeah,” Claire agreed, staring at his face.
He shifted sideways. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Have I ever told you that you have gorgeous hair?” she said softly.
Anthony took a deep breath and chewed his gum. “Uh… thank you.”
Their gazes held for a while.
“So what now?” Claire whispered. Her eyes dipped to Anthony’s lips.
He gazed back at her glossy lips, leaning closer. His hand reached under her long curls below her ear, his thumb caressing her neck. He felt her minty breath on his face. He held her upper lip between his cold ones. As her hungry lips drew him in, The Queen’s face flashed in his head.
He gasped and stared into Claire’s green eyes. She tangled her arms around him and their lips connected again. He squeezed his eyes shut, his heart fluttering. He kissed her harder, but it was the Queen’s lips he wished to kiss. His hand slid to Claire’s waist, but it was The Queen’s forbidden skin he yearned to touch.
“No.” He pulled away from Claire. “I can’t do this to you.”
Dazed, she stared at him.
“I’m so… so sorry Claire.” He lowered. “I should have never…” He shook his head. “Damn it!”
“Am I that repulsive to you, Anthony?” she asked with a shaky voice.
“No, no, absolutely not…” he answered instantly. “No, Claire… Gosh.”
“Then what the hell was that about?”
“I… there’s nothing in the whole world that could ever justify what I’d done. I can’t tell you how terrible I feel right now.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “Please, I’d do anything, anything so you forgive me.”
“What was that all about, Anthony? You tell me to ditch my classes, ask me out alone, and bring me here for what? So you can do this? Hurt me like this? Were you trying to get over her or something?” she lashed out.
“No, it’s not her. It’s…”
“Not her?” Her jaw dropped. “Who is it, Anthony?”
Realizing that his tongue had slipped, Anthony closed his eyes, shaking his head.
“You said you’d do anything. Now, I demand to know. Who the hell is she?”
“Does it make any difference, Claire?”
“Yes, it does. I wanna know who that girl is, the girl who was able to make you fall in love with her even more than the b***h who destroyed you for months; the one who could make you hurt your best friend to get over her, Anthony,” she yelled.
“Okay, I’ll tell you. Just please, clam down,” he said. “I just don’t want to upset you again.”
“Then speak up.” She burst in tears.
“Okay, it’s… The Queen,” he said, ashamed.
“What? That weirdo? My God!” She gasped, swallowing her tears. “That’s why you came to the audition yesterday.”
His lips trembled, both of his hands squeezing the steering wheel.
“She’s the same, Anthony.” She sniffled. “What do you like in these narcissistic whores, huh? The torture, the pain, the betrayal, didn’t you have enough of that?”
His brows hitched together. “I tried so hard to stay away from her and resist, but… I just discovered that nothing, no matter how radical it is, would distract me from the feelings I have for her,” he admitted, his voice breaking. “If it’s any consolation, she doesn’t feel anything about me. I haven’t even told her how I felt. I mean, I tried but…she simply doesn’t see me.”
“So you decided to use your best friend, who had waited for you for years, just to keep your mind away from her?” Tears ran down her cheeks.
“No, Claire.” He sighed. “Yes, I decided not to think about her anymore, but not like that. I decided to try to be with someone else, but not just any one. I’d have gone with the girl John told me about, or just any other girl, if that’s the case. I wanted to be with someone I trust, someone I care about. I thought maybe for once I’d choose the right girl.” He stared at her. “Claire, I can’t lose you.” He breathed out. “I know I did something unforgivable, but I won’t rest till you forgive me. I…”
“I’ve known you my whole life, Anthony. I know you’re not a bad person.” She drew a shaky breath. “It’s not your fault that you don’t feel the same way I feel about you.” She glanced at him. “We’re best friends, and friends forgive,” she said.
A sigh escaped his chest. “Thank you.”
“I won’t forgive you right now, though. It’s gonna take time.”
He nodded and pressed his lips. “I know.”
“So what are you gonna do now?”
He wiped his hands across his face. “I have no clue.”
She rolled her eyes. “You should let her torture you more. And when you can’t take it any longer, when you’ve had enough, you come to us. We’ll be waiting for you. As we always have been.”
Her words were like drops of acid, corroding at his heart. He glowered and drove to the apartment. When they arrived, they saw Tommy standing outside the building beside the truck delivering his furniture, holding a box.
Before getting out of the car, Claire said, “What happened today stays between us. I don’t want anyone to know.” She swiftly left the Beetle.
Anthony slipped out of the car. They walked across the street together, pretending nothing had happened.
“Hey, you two. Better late than never, huh?” Tommy said.
“Yeah, it’s my fault,” Anthony said.
“Of course, it’s your fault.” Tommy handed him the box he held. “John is upstairs already. There isn’t much left, anyway.”
Anthony and Claire took the elevator together. Silence was their only companion until John appeared from the apartment.
“Finally! You leave me to do all the work and show up in the end, you suckers! Where the hell have you been, both of you?” John asked.
“Stop bitchin’. We’re here, aren’t we?” Anthony looked around. “What’s it that you did all by yourself? Carrying a box or two? The apartment is still a mess.”
“What? Did you expect me to clean the apartment all by myself? You’re delusional,” John replied.
“You know what? Just let’s do this thing. I’m running late.” Anthony began to arrange the boxes scattered all over the place.
As Claire and John followed his lead, Tommy arrived carrying the last of the boxes
After a couple of hours of stacking boxes, cleaning floors, and arranging furniture, Anthony glanced at his watch and murmured, “Oh God.”
“What’s wrong?” Tommy asked.
“Uh… nothing it’s just… I have to go,” Anthony said.
“Excuse me? You came late and now you’re bailing?”
“Man, relax. It’s the study group. We agreed to meet at four every day, so—”
“So what? It’s one day. It won’t make a difference,” Tommy interrupted, shaking his head.
Anthony dashed out of the apartment and pressed the elevator button. “Yes, it will. The research data is all stored on my laptop. They can’t work without it. Listen, I’ll go for just an hour and come back. I promise, okay?”
Tommy turned his back at him and shut the door with his foot.
Anthony snapped at the red button, gritting his teeth. When he heard the ding, he jumped into the elevator. He drove to the library as fast as he could. He grabbed his laptop, which he had kept on the backseat of his car all day, as if he was planning to go to that meeting and not the opposite, and raced to the library.
“Look who decided to join us,” The Queen said.
- Writer
