The Lover

Chapter 5

If she doesn’t blurt it out quickly I swear I will smash something.

‘It’s just that… I’m moving out.’

She won’t look into our eyes, choosing to study the carpet as if she had something awkward to say. I go totally numb; it takes a few seconds until I realize what she’s aiming at. Moving out? Why? And why now? Where? And what’s this whole nonsense anyway?

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Amina is staring at the floor, so I blink at Dylan with a shock, to find out if he knows anything about the issue. His chin tightens, and I can almost sense the dark cloud that suddenly engulfs him. He turns inwards as always in similar situations. He has also been taken by surprise.

‘What are you doing?’ I ask, gulping.

‘Moving out,’ she repeats quietly, almost apologetically.

Shit. Then I heard it well.

‘I don’t get it. Why? I thought…’

Nervously, I begin to pace up and down the living room and try to recall the recent days. Greenhaven was fantastic, not just for me but for all of us, I bet. And even since then, there have never been any problems between us. Life has returned into me; I keep drifting in this f*****g heaven like some smitten teenager. I thought Amina felt the same. I thought she liked it… with us. Or did something happen last night? I quickly move my eyes to Dylan, but his face is dark, undetectable. I only got home late last night, and I immediately spotted that they were both in the guest room. Since there was no sound of a conversation or any other noise, I didn’t join them but chose to sleep in my own room. Sometimes Dylan loses control and he’s not exactly famous for his tenderness in s*x, that’s for sure. He’s never too delicate with his women, but Amina is somehow different. I’ve never seen him act like he did in Greenhaven. If I had had the slightest suspicion he was causing Mina any pain, I swear I would have prevented that.

I nervously run my fingers through my hair again and turn to look at my bro. True, he’s a rude d**k, nevertheless the girls are crazy for him. I simply can’t imagine him ever hurting Mina. She means more to him than any other woman he has had a relationship with. He only protected his mother and little sister so vehemently in our childhood. Then what’s going on, damn it? Have I screwed up?

‘I want you to know how thankful I am for…’

My stomach jerks. I lift my hand in the air and wave her off before she would even start. Thankful? Is this serious, damn it? She goes quiet at once, and begins to chew on her mouth. I can see Dylan’s eyebrows run up to his forehead.

‘I think we’re over that, Mina. Don’t give me the I’m so thankful piece, or I swear I’m going to get sick,’ I say nervously.

She heaves a deep sigh, puts down her cup and looks at us severely.

‘You’re right, we’re way over that. The situation is, a lot of things have happened in the recent past. Great things,’ she adds with a little blush, which eases my tension somewhat. ‘When I set foot into this country a few months ago, lonely and broken, I never would have thought that I would experience such amazing things. Okay,’ she lifts a hand, and laughs out loud with embarrassment, ‘I won’t beat about the bush. I never meant to meet men, not to mention all the rest. I didn’t plan to fall in love, yet that’s what happened.’ I don’t want to fall on the floor, so I just sit down on the sofa, trying to look intelligent. But since the word love has left her lips, I find it hard to breathe. ‘I’m in love with both of you,’ she says, shrugging sweetly as if she was sharing about some mischief. The words are leaving her mouth so naturally that I am absolutely stunned. ‘Don’t ask me how this is possible, because I have no idea, but that’s the situation. I never believed I would be able to have s*x without romantic feelings, and I turned out to be right about that. What happened between us, only happened because I love you both.’

‘Amina…’ Dylan interrupts her menacingly with his deep voice, but she won’t stop. She goes on.

‘I thought I might be enlightened in Greenhaven’ she says, lifting her eyes to the ceiling and pulling her face, ‘and finally I can sort out my feelings, but it didn’t happen that way. I love every single moment we spent together,’ she continues, her voice dying with emotions, ‘but I feel that I have to keep a distance so that I can think.’

‘Did you say that you love me?’ the question slips out of my lips, because I’m still stuck on that part of her monologue.

She goes quiet and hangs her head with shyness.

‘I did say that. Because it’s the truth.’

I was dying for her to say that, because this confession was hidden in her gaze every time I held her. But the fact she states so bravely that she loves us both, completely sweeps me off my feet. I have never met a woman like her in my life. I can’t hold myself back any longer, I get up from my seat, step up to her and hold her tight. She cuddles to me at once, I can almost feel the tension easing in her body, from second to second. I’ve been aware of my own feelings for a while, and the only reason I haven’t confessed love to her before was that I didn’t want to frighten her. It has never been hard for me to show my feelings, I actually have a need to do it, but with Amina I have been cautious, considering her background.