The Alphas Daughter

Find him, please

The world starts to shrink around me. Elliotts words echoing in my ears “he’s hurts”

“Riley! where is likely to be” James shouts at me. I can’t reply, I try, but words won’t leave my mouth. Zac Can’t be hurt, he just can’t.

“Ri, you need to focus, where could he be?” James places his hands on my shoulders, I know he’s close but he seems so far away, as if he stood in the distance, his words sound so dim. Everything has slowed down, the world has stopped. But why? Zac can’t be hurt.

I stare at James’ face as his mouth moves but I cannot hear anything. The world has fallen silent.

I feel Elliott’s tiny hand entwined with mine his warm palm flush with my cold hands, when I look down as his innocent face, it’s clear to see whatever he heard in his mind has scared him, his pale face stained from tears that have already fallen and still are flowing.

James must of linked my brother because by the time I look back up he’s also stood in-front of me, an army of guards waiting to be told their mission standing at the ready to be given their next instruction.

“Riley, you need to focus” mark says softly. And with those words reality snaps back in front of me, the world regains it’s normal speed and my ears become overwhelmed with mumbles and talk from the 50+ guards who have appeared.

“Goddings” I whisper.

“Good, okay, we can’t start there” James says as he starts pulling out maps and directing soldiers to their positions, every ounce of him is oozing professionalism or… fear.

I stand and stare, watching as all these men who owe us nothing, are putting their dedication into finding my best friend. Taking orders from my boyfriend and brother.

Zac can’t be hurt

I feel a soft hand land on my shoulder and I turn to see Beth, softly smiling, I hadn’t realised how much I had missed her until I saw her petite little face “Riley, let me take Elliott for some snacks” she says, raising an eyebrow towards my petrified son. I know he’s safe with Beth, I know she would lay down her life for my boy, but for some reason I can’t let go of his tiny hands, his perfect hands wrapped around mine, keeping me safe.

“Riley, you need to help here, and El doesn’t need to see or hear this kind of stuff” Beth reminds me.

I kneel infront of my boy, his face stained with tears and blotchy from his sobs. I lay my forehead on his. “We will find him, I promise. But you need to go with Beth, you need to be safe” I say

“No mummy, I stay” he says sobbing into my shoulder. “You can’t baby” trying to hold back my tears proves hard, something is wrong, very wrong. I need to find Zac!

Elliots snaked his hands around my neck and is refusing to let go, sobbing petrified sobs. Before I know it some huge hands wrap around my tiny child and lift him into their embrace and I look up to see Elliott hysterically crying into James neck and James rubbing our tiny sons back, kissing his wet cheeks, soothing our boy. It’s obviously very clear to not just me but to James too that whatever Elliott heard has scared him to his core.

“Bud, go with Aunt B and as soon as me and mummy are back we will come and get you, we can eat ice cream and stay up late.” Seeing James with our son, comforting him and making him feel safe made me ease slightly. But there was a feeling in my stomach, a dark heavy pit. Something is wrong.

“Daddy stay with me” Elliott wails as James hands him over to Beth. I can see the pain in James eyes. Elliott’s thrashing around trying to get back to us, reaching for us, trying to break free from Beth’s grasp, but she’s a little trooper, she carries on walking towards the pack house, whispering soothing words into my baby’s ear, she’s so strong, and now it’s my turn.

As I watch Beth and Elliott’s figures disappear as they enter the pack house I don’t even realise James is stood in front of me, he coils his huge arms around my waist and rests his chin on top of my head. “We will find him babe, I promise you” I stand rooted to the spot. Not able to reply. Why won’t this feeling of dread leave me. Zac can’t be hurt.

“He called me daddy” James whispers, almost as if he’s scared that if he tells anyone it won’t be true. I half smile up to James, it’s the first time I’ve focused on anything since El told us what he had heard.

James cups my face “I promise you, with every fibre of my being we will find Zac, okay?” He asks staring straight in my face.

“He can’t be hurt” I reply

“I have guards on the way to Goddings now, but is there anywhere else he could of gone” James asks

I’ve known for Zac for 4 years and his whole life for these past 4 years has been in Goddings, I don’t think I’ve even known him go on holiday, and that’s when it dawns on me

“His dads pack” I say standing upright

“What’s it called?” James asks with urgency in his voice

“I don’t know he didn’t tell me, all I know is his dads an arsehole” I say to James

“Think, Riley” james shouts, grabbing the attention of a few guards. The fear becoming apparent

“I don’t know” I shout back, i didn’t even know he was part of a pack until a few nights ago” I cry. Tears have started flowing down my face. James pulls me into a tight embrace “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t of shouted” he says

Hysterical sobs leave my mouth, I can’t form a sentence together, I feel my chest go tight and I can’t breathe, I’m starting to panic.

“Riley breathe” James says concern lacing his words

I’m trying to breathe but I can’t, my body won’t let me.

“Riley, Brea…” but before he can finish his sentence my brother interrupts

“She’s having a panic attack” Marks voice says coming from behind me “she used to have them all the time after my mum died” Mark tells James

Mark stands infront of me and he puts his hands on my shoulders “look at me” he says. I do as he asks and I look up into his eyes and he starts the list

Elliott

James

Beth

Coffee

Your bed

And all of a sudden my brain enters a deep memory that was buried far away. one I had forgotten until this very second:

14 year old Mark stood infront of a 10 year old me having a panic attack. He had read online that a therapist had said, if someone lists all the things they are thankful for during a panic attack it will stop. Their mind goes to a happy place when they recite their happy list. So that’s what he started to do. Everytime I had a panic attack, he made me focus on him and list everything I’m thankful for. I should of known back then that James was my mate. He’s always been on my ‘thankful list’.

As my breathing starts to go back to normal and slow, I take a seat on the muddy floor and put my head between my legs. I need to compose myself. I need to have my head in the game, I need to be able to help find Zac.

A question floats into my head which I didn’t have the answer for… When did i forget how much Mark looked out for me? When did we start being so distant and cold towards each other?

James takes a seat besides me and hands me a bottle of water.

“You scared me” he says softly

“Yeah, I’m sorry. I forgot I even had them, and the thankful list” I smile up at James’ concerned face.

“He adores you, you know” James says as he points towards mark.

“It’s funny. He said the same about you” I smile.

James leans forwards and places a soft kiss on my lips. I kiss to feel thankful for.

“Find him, please” I beg.

“I will, I promise” James replies