Helping my crush

Chapter one - I need better life

Bella's POV:

Hello. My name is Bella Evans. I am an eighteen-year-old high school student. I have a little sister named Emily. She is eight years younger than me. Unfortunately, my sister didn't have the chance to know mom very well. She died when I was ten, and Emily was only two. Since then, I have been taking care of her. Of course, I can't replace our mom, but I am trying my best. If I have to be honest, my sister never cried for mom. I explained to her everything. In kindergarten, mothers were coming to take their kids. Emily started asking questions, and I had to tell her the truth. I didn't want to lie to her. Maybe because she was young, she accepted it very well. The biggest problem is dad. In the beginning, he refused to believe that my mom was gone. He was staying up late, waiting for her to come. After a couple of months, he realized the truth. Mom was never coming back. Then he started drinking alcohol. He thinks that this will help him forget that she is gone. We have argued a lot about this, but he is not listening. Before, dad was a happy man. He used to play with me a lot. Now I barely see him. He is always outside. I have to work twenty-four hours, seven days a week, and I don't even have a real job. It's not like I mind, but sometimes, I need a rest. I wish that dad was helping me. He has already given up. Because of that, he got fired. His boss gave him some time, but dad refused to come back to work.

I woke up with a headache. It's not the first time. Lately, this has happened a lot. That's why I have pills on my nightstand. I drank two and went to get ready. Today is the last weekend before school. I have to go shopping with Emily. Well, not only for her. I also have to pay the bills for this month. The country gives us two thousand dollars every month because of our mom. It depends on how many kids a family has. I give dad only half of them. He doesn't know that we receive more. Otherwise, he will use them for alcohol. With the rest of the money, I buy food and pay bills. I wanted to give him only five hundred, but he found more.

I went to check on Emily and saw that she was still sleeping. I won't wake her now. When breakfast is ready, I will do it. I walked into the kitchen and saw dad. I will like it if he makes us breakfast. Well, I know that he won't. Dad is not helping me at all. I don't want to blame him. For the past eight years, nothing has changed. He is the same. I looked at him and saw that he was drinking again.

- Don't you think that it's too early for alcohol?

- I don't care.

- Dad, we have talked about it.

- I don't want to listen to you.

- But you have to.

- No!

- Will you at least have breakfast with us?

- No, I will go out.

- Please. For me. - I said and looked at him

I still hope that one day he will change, but he is proving me wrong. Dad walked away, and I started making breakfast. I try to cook different things. The thing is that I don't have time to search for new recipes every day. Sometimes I repeat meals. Today I will try to make English breakfast. I have no idea how it will turn out, but I know that Emily will eat it. She doesn't complain about the food. Soon I was done. I went to wake up my sister.

- Breakfast is ready.

- Five more minutes.

- It will get cold.

- Fine, I'm coming.

The only reason why I am putting in so much effort is Emily. Otherwise, I would have given up a long time ago. Because of her, I wake up every day. If I had a real job, it was going to be easier. At least I will have a rest. Here I have to be many things. A teacher for Emily. A babysitter, a cook, a cleaner, a sister, a daughter, a mom, and an adult. Since dad won't be one, I have to do it. Teenagers are parting, drinking, and going on dates while I am stuck at home. I don't have time for all of this. My life is not easy at all. I am getting tired, but I don't have time to rest. Maybe only when I sleep.

- What we'll do today? - Emily asked

- We have to pay the bills and shop for you and me.

- I wish that summer vacation was longer.

- I'm sorry. Some countries don't have one that long.

- Really?

- Yes. So, be happy that you have one.

- I am. - she said, smiling

I wish that she could be like the other kids. I am trying to make her happy. What she likes is to play with the neighbors' dog. Miss and mister Adams are an old couple. They live in the house next to ours. Sometimes I let Emily go there and play with the dog. I wanted to buy one for her birthday. The question is will she take care of it. For me, she and dad are enough. I don't have time to take care of a dog.

After breakfast, Emily and I walked out. Malls are not my favorite places, but they have many stores in one building. That's why we are going there. First, we'll go to the bookstore. They have a pre-school sale. Later, I can buy Emily new clothes. It's not like she doesn't have enough, but I want her to have something new. I don't need this. My clothes are still in good condition. Moreover, I don't care about my appearance.

- Go and take only the things which you need for school. I will do the same.

- Ok. Where should I search for you?

- I will wait for you in the board games section.

Both of us went on separate ways. We don't have many things to buy, so we should finish soon. After all, someone has to make dinner. Only half an hour took us to shop here. Next, we are going for clothes. I don't bring Emily to kid's stores anymore. She is tall enough, and I can find her clothes in stores for teens and adults. Also, I think that she likes it. I let her choose her clothes but on a budget. Many people were shopping, including boys. Some of them were from my school. Emily went to look around. Usually, I sit and wait for her. This time, I will check what's new. It's not like I will buy something. I was looking at a t-shirt when I felt eyes on me. I looked up and saw Chris. He quickly nodded his head. I guess that he didn't want someone to see him. He is the most popular and good-looking boy in school. Well, according to girls. For me, he is an ordinary boy. Soon Emily came back.

- I am done. Can we get ice cream? Please.

- Yes, but after lunch.

- Yay! You are the best.

- Only when I say yes, right? - I asked, chuckling

- No. You always were.

People think that I am normal. They have no idea who I am. The thing is that I don't like talking about myself. I don't want people to feel sorry for me. I am fine. For now, I am doing well. Since none of us died from hunger, I must have done something right. I have told Emily not to tell anyone about our life. I don't want kids to make fun of her. It's not polite, but they are kids. Most of them don't understand these things. Well, I have told her teacher. She needs to know. When there are parenting meetings, I go. I leave her with miss and mister Adams.

We walked to the food court, and I let her choose her lunch. I only had a salad. Lately, I'm not very hungry. Well, this doesn't mean that I stopped cooking. After all, Emily needs food. Dad is outside most of the time, so we eat alone. We quickly got used to this. I told her to sit while I brought her food.

- This is delicious.

- Don't talk while you eat.

- I'm sorry. - Emily said and continued eating

- What do you want us to do this afternoon?

- Can I play with Buddy? Please.

- Only if miss and mister Adams let you.

- We can ask them when we go home.

- Yes, we can.

- Is it a bad thing to stare at someone?

- I won't say that it's a bad thing, but it's not polite. Why are you asking?

- Because one boy can't stop looking at you. - she said, giggling

- What?

I moved next to Emily and saw Chris. I want to say that it's a coincidence, but I can't. I smiled at him, and he returned it. I don't know what is going on with him today. He has never talked with me. I would love it if this had changed, but I don't believe it. Also, I don't have time for boys. They need too much attention. The other reason is that I don't want to mess anyone with my life. From time to time, I noticed that he was giving me looks, but I pretended that I didn't see them. I think that he doesn't want me to know about that. It's not like this is a crime. I have to say that of all the boys on the football team, Chris is the most normal.

- I think that he likes you.

- Who?

- The boy who is always looking at you.

- I wish that you were right, but it's not true. Moreover, I don't have time for boys.

- You don't have time for anything.

- I do. When you go to bed, I watch a movie.

- Only that. What about everything else?

- Which is?

- I don't know. You are the teenager.

- I like my life, ok? Don't worry about me.

- If you say so.

We stayed in the mall for a while, and later I left Emily to miss Adam's house. While she is there, I can make dinner. I walked in and saw dad sleeping on the couch. It's visible that he is drunk. Sometimes I feel sorry for him. He loved mom a lot, and I don't know when he will be ready to move on. I thought that eight years were enough, but maybe I was wrong. I will wake him up and make him go into his room.

- Dad, wake up. Dad.

- Leave me to sleep.

- Why don't you go into your room? You will feel more comfortable.

- I won't move.

- Are you sure?

- Yes, I am. Go away.

- Ok, if this is what you want.

I kissed his cheek and left. I felt the tears in my eyes but blinked a couple of times to make them go away. I won't waste my time with this. After two hours, dinner was ready. Emily came back home. I went to wake up dad. This time he said that he would stay with us. I guess that his money started to get less. I won't give him more. We have only two thousand a month, and I have bills to pay. Luckily, no one questioned why I did it. Well, I am using dad's card. He thought that he had lost it.

At 10 pm, I put Emily to bed. She does it by herself, but I always stay with her until she falls asleep. It became like a habit. Mom used to do this with me. I want my sister to feel the same, even if it's not with mom but with me.

- Can you read me a bedtime story?

- Aren't you too old for them?

- Please.

- Ok, choose one.

- I want the story about the prince who fell for an ordinary girl.

- No problem.

That is a story that I invented. It's not a real one, but Emily liked it. When she fell asleep, I went to check on dad. This time he was in his room. I left two pills that will help him get sober. I don't know if he will take them, but just in case he wants them. Finally, I went to bed. Sometimes I feel this as my second home. I can't wait to fall asleep and take a break. Since I forgot to pay the bills while we were outside, I did it from my laptop. I need to start writing notes. Otherwise, I will forget something. I changed into my PJs and went under the covers. Soon I fell asleep.