Love From A Distance

Chapter 26 Packing Up

Millicent's POV

--------hours later-------

It takes hours of gathering my things to prioritize them. Plus many many drinks later, that have helped motivate us to then pack up some of my life into a small number of boxes and bags.. I have never really kept a ton of boxes or extra big bags around.. So I don't have many options to work with by any means in this hard and unexpected situation.

We don't travel much, so not many uses for suitcases or big bags that just take up space.. But I do have one set of traveling bags, just in case he wanted to take me on vacation.. but like I said before they just take up space and never get used.. Except for today apparently.. which helps out some, but not a whole bunch.

As for the extra boxes that we have around, I would like to think I have just the usual amount. They are folded up of various sizes and stored in the back of the garage. Just in case it is needed, you know, for a rainy day.. So obviously I pull every box out to put in the bedroom with me. Since today my emotions are pouring out just as much as the tears are running down my face. Making this the rainest day I have had in a very long time.

I know I don't want to continue to be with Wyatt, especially after everything that has happened to us over the years, plus all that I have found out recently. I deserve better than that and I know it, but I have to be realistic with myself and make sure I'm listening to what I need. So my body and mind are telling me that after today, no more with Wyatt. I really am at my wit's end.

But that doesn't make any of this separating easier for me.. He is the man I spent a good chunk of my life with, so imagining him not there anymore hurts. but at the same time, those thoughts make me feel better knowing the loss of stresses I won't have to endure anymore after today. Things are changing.. I want to be excited about it, but it's completely terrifying to even imagine.

To add insult to injury about my messed up situation, even though the bags and boxes I have are filled.. I'm not even done yet.. But most of it is done, which is great. But I'm out of bags and boxes.. So with there still being a pile of stuff to pack on my bed, and nowhere to put it, I'm now at a standstill point. So what do I do now?

"Bannnnanna?" I lean back, throwing my head with this action as I slur out loudly, trying to get some ideas for this already blurring, not thinking straight, drunk mind of mine. "Ya?" She calls back to me, I look around for my friend, the source of that voice. but I can't see where she is sitting.. I just know she is somewhere in the room. "I'm out of bags and boxes," I tell her my issue at hand hoping for some type of solution from her, that I can easily do sitting in this exact spot. I'm afraid if I stand up, and to fast, then I might throw up.

It's easy to drink in one spot on the floor but to get up and move around is something that could easily work against me. I keep looking for my help but she is still not in my sights at all.

But cheering emerges from the other side of the bed.. maybe under the bed.. but all I know is that I can't see her but I can hear her. "Yea! Were packed!! All packed... packy pack packed.." she sings out between the cheers as I laugh at that reaction.

"Banana? I need help." I say to her as she bursts out laughing even louder, just to say right back. "Funny thing.. me too!" I laugh just as loudly, matching her energy, and joining in her fit of drunken laughter that is contagious at the moment. Obviously, she won't be the one helping me, so I will have to be the one to help her.

I smile to myself as I take a look around the closet that I have been barricaded in by clothing for hours now. I reach up to use the shelves surrounding me to help pick me up to my feet. It takes a second, but once I am standing firmly on my feet, I take a couple of deep breaths before starting this drunken trek across the room and to my friend.

I stumble back and forth toward the singing across the room, using anything I can, to help hold me up and maybe lean against.. depending on the bedroom decor.

Right now one thing is for certain though, standing has shown me how much I really have had to drink. Since I'm not a big drinker by any means, so I know I can't handle much. Not to mention the swaying and stumbling through the now spinning room. So I can safely assume that I drank probably a little too much.. Or way too much.. we will see the end results tomorrow and decide from there.

I keep inching forward until I get to my bed, so I instantly grip the soft comforter tight in my hands. I bend over only slightly, then closing my eyes so I can take a breather to hopefully not get sick in my room. No one wants that and I don't think I could make it to my bathroom in time if I do feel sick.

So I'm using the end of the bed to steady not just my body, but my mind as well. Since the dizziness is hitting me tenfold at my fast transit around the room.. Maybe it's not as fast as I would like to think.. but fast enough to get my head spinning after so many drinks.

I squeeze my eyes tight and take a couple of deep breaths to try to soothe the monster in my stomach, that has been turning and hopefully will not come out, because it won't be pleasant if it does. Once I feel like I can move again. I slowly open each eye, one after the other, until I notice Hannah is on the floor staring up at me from under my bed.

"Youuuu... ok... sweets.. sweetheart.. sweetums?!" She asks me as best as she can to be a good friend but we are almost too intoxicated to be good friends to each other.. neither one of us is sober, so there is no way one can take care of the other right now.

"I'm ok.. just dizzy," I reply as she reaches up for me, but still laying on the ground. I extend my hand to reach hers and she quickly takes hold of it and pulls me down to her. I have no strength or balance to even stop this. So my body just falls next to hers. She laughs as I do the same, feeling better than I thought I would after such a big fall for me in this state of mind.

"What the hell Hannah?" I ask groaning on the floor next to her, trying to get comfortable because I have a feeling I will be stuck down here for a little bit.

"I'm sorry I just knew I couldn't help you from down here but I can't get up since I have been stuck down here for a little bit.. So I pulled you to me.. Besides, you looked like you were going to throw up and I couldn't handle it if you threw up on me." She states letting out a huge breath as she glances over at me and I look over at her to respond. "Yeah, I did feel like I was going to throw up but pulling me down here might not be helping me to not throw up."

She laughs at that as she states almost sounding breathless. "Well as long as you don't throw up on me is all that I care about at the moment.. we can deal with everything else tomorrow." I smile at that comment as I glance up and stare at the plain white ceiling to calm myself down once again.

As we lay on my floor, feeling melted into the shaggy carpet. We decide to take advantage of this moment to catch up.. As more hours pass by we seemed to only laugh and talk like we were 10 years younger.. we haven't done something like this in so long.

"I'm so happy we did this.. we haven't done anything like this in forever and believe me I needed this." I declare to her as she scoffs just to retort. "No.. I needed this."

I laugh and shake my head feeling dizzy with that action alone as I say softly. "No, I'm thankful for you.. I really did need this.. more than you will ever know.. thank you." I explain as best as I can in this state of mind.

"No.. I mean it.. I haven't seen this side of you in forever.. I needed this to feel loved.. I haven't felt like I had a friend in a while and this is something my state of mind needed." She responds as I turn on my side to face her and she does the same looking towards me.

"You haven't felt like you had a friend in a while?" I ask her with sadness in my tone but I understand we haven't done much at all lately.

"I'm not trying to make you feel bad.. But since you have been married in what seemed like the perfect marriage with everything you needed in life.. I wasn't needed anymore.. and honestly, I was jealous that you had it all. I was starting to wish I was you and had everything you had because it looked perfect." She explains further and I nod but have to ask.

"Is that why sometimes you canceled our girly lunch get-togethers?" She looks sad at me before nodding. "The lunches with you are nice.. but it's hard for me.. I mean.. ugh.. Sometimes it's hard to face you when my life is so pathetic and I'm always alone and sad and you have everything going for you.. You seriously have everything I ever wanted. So it made me feel like my life wasn't a good one at all."

"I'm so sorry to make you feel that way.. That's never what I wanted or intended to do.. I just wanted to see my best friend because I missed you. Things were never perfect for me behind closed doors.. they are just always hard to talk about.. It's easier to put a smiling mask on my face than see my problems head-on. But you were always that glimmer of light and hope that has always helped me hold on, no matter how tough things got for me." I say to her as she smiles at me.

We both start to cry endlessly as we quickly grip each other tight into the biggest friend hug I have ever been a part of. "I have always been jealous of you.. Do you know? You do what you want and when you want.. getting any man you want and being with so many men that you can have your choice at the single gorgeous man buffet.. it looks amazing." I state as she scoffs rolling her eyes at me.

"It looks better than it feels.. it's so lonely.. yes I can have hot men around me when I want.. but they won't even want to stay until morning.. I can't even bag a guy who wants to spend more than a couple hours with me without getting s*x. No one just wanted to be with me more than physically. I am the girl they are more than willing to take home but never the girl to commit to and bring home to meet the family.. it hurts.. and here you are with men wanting to spend years with you." She replies to me as I scoff.

"The man I had left me for other women.. and I don't even know how many.. But it sounds like there are multiple women because he didn't want me anymore.. so it was just years wasted. How many women did he waste my time with when I could have been moving on." I spat feeling the anger building up at those thoughts. I know the alcohol is helping these thoughts and feelings.. but whether I was sober or not I would still be angry.

"Did he say there were multiple women?" Hannah asks as I shake my head. "He didn't tell me anything.. it was all Aiden.. but he just mentioned that it was Lacey.. the girl he brought over to the house and paraded around in front of me, before he took her side when flirting right in front of me. . But believe me I'm talking with him and finding out everything and how long.. because this is bullshit. I need to know for my sanity."

"Well don't you think that the truth will probably hurt you worse.. like putting salt in the wound.. when you just need to get closure to be able to move on?" She asks me with concern in her tone. "I know it sounds stupid but I need to know why and who.. and when all this started.. I think that would help me get the closure I need and deserve. I just need to know." I say to her taking another deep breath in as she does the same.

She looks even more worried as she continues to state. "But I'm sure the truth will hurt you.. so you should just leave it alone and learn to move on in a different way."

I look over at her, feeling my brows touch because I'm not liking how this is sounding. "Do you know something that I should know about?" I inquire with her because it sounds as if she is implying that she might know something.

"I'm just worried that a scumbag guy like him would have too many things to count and it will hurt knowing who and when and where.. that will just make you think about all of this over and over again when you deserve better than that." I appreciate her protectiveness and advice but the more she talks about this the more suspicious she becomes.

"Do you know something?" I ask again since she didn't directly answer my question. She swallows the nervousness just to say. "Maybe." I sit up slowly as she does the same mirroring me. "What do you know?" She huffs out as she softly says. "Wyatt has hit on me a couple of times. He was always the one that initiated it though." I stare at her for a moment.

"But that was it though right? Just him hitting on you? Nothing more?" She looks at me and nods. I let out a sigh of relief. "I'm honestly not surprised. Of course he hit on you, he is a scumbag and you're so beautiful, funny and sweet.. but you don't know how much of a relief it is to know you didn't do anything with him.. You're amazing Hannah.. I'm so lucky to have you in my life."

She giggles as she playfully slaps my arm. "I'm beautiful and sweet?! No, you're sweet and stunning!" I laugh as she does the same, so we continue to compliment one another for who knows how long.

This is what girls should always do.. Or at least what we should always do together.. Just boost each other up from the bad times.. not bringing them down to add to the stresses surrounding them.. I couldn't be more thankful for this amazing person.