To Love A Curse

CHAPTER 3

Slowly but surely, I had made it to my sixth year, and before I knew it, I was only 5 days from graduation. We’d all been on low hair cuts which was a strict requirement for admission. But as graduation neared, most of us started secretly keeping our hair a little higher, just enough to look more beautiful for the final day, especially for pictures. It was our own little act of rebellion, to feel like we were finally becoming adults.

That afternoon, some girls from my class approached me in the dorm room.

“Dina, what do you think about braiding our hair into cornrows?” One of them said, excitedly.

I had to look behind me just to be sure I was the one they were speaking to, no one had ever asked for my opinion on anything.

“Cornrows?” I repeated, unsure.

“Yes,” another girl replied, “We’re graduating in a few days. Don't worry, we no longer go into the school compound so there's no way we can get caught.”

“Come on, this is our last chance to bond together as friends.” a third girl added with a smile.

That word, friends, should have been my red flag, my sign to yell no and run away. But I had wanted this for so long, the sense of belonging, of having people refer to me as friend, especially these girls that I had spent 6 years admiring.

“Okay,” I heard myself say, with a shy smile. “Let's do it.”

We all braided each other’s hair into cornrows, talking endlessly and laughing heartily. For the first time, I felt important.

That evening, a junior approached me.

“The principal wants to see you in her office,” she said, looking nervous.

My heart dropped. I immediately begged loudly, “Can anyone help me loosen my cornrows? The principal is calling me.”

No one answered.

In the office, two of my classmates were already seated. Their hair still braided, their eyes darting around in fear.

“So,” the principal said, arms folded, “You’ve decided to turn my school into a hair salon.”

Before I could say anything, one of them blurted.

“It was Dina, ma. She convinced us to braid our hair. She said no one would find out.”

“Yes, ma.” The other girl added immediately, “She convinced everyone in the class.”

I stared at them, stunned. “That’s a lie!” I yelled, “They came to me and —”

“That's enough!” The principal cut me off angrily, “Do you realize how grave this is? Braiding your hair is a direct violation of the school rules. This is grounds for expulsion.”

I felt my knees buckle under the weight of the word, expulsion.

“Ma, please,” I fell to my knees and begged. “I didn't plan anything, I just joined. Please believe me.”

In my head, I was panicking: These girls had planned all along for me to take the fall, and they didn't mind if it meant me getting expelled. Was I really that bad of a person? Why did they hate me so much?

The principal stared at me for a long moment. “Stand up,” she finally said. “ I know you don't have that sort of influence over your peers. But this is your first and final warning, I will not hesitate to expel you even on the day before you graduate. Go.”

I left the office trembling. Later that night, I overheard two other girls giggling in the bathroom.

“I can't believe she actually thought she was one of us.” one said.

“What a foolish scapegoat.” The other replied.

They both burst into another round of laughter.

Something inside me shattered. I felt heartbroken, betrayed, and used. Right there and then, I swore to myself, that from the moment I stepped out of the school gates, I would have nothing to do with any girl from this forsaken place.

Fast forward to university. I entered with the strong belief that my university experience would mirror my high school years, so I resolved within myself to keep my head down, mind my business, and avoid interactions with people. However, that wouldn't be the case.

I had now developed into a young woman, my body had changed, and I was now a lot more endowed. This drew a lot of male attention.

Coming from an all-girls school, I was very naive. I fell for the traps of boys like a bee falls for honey, I was just super happy to finally be gaining the attention I felt I deserved, not realizing that these boys wanted only one thing from me, s*x.

I started to notice that guys would stop speaking to me or responding to my messages once I had slept with them, but then again, more guys would reach out to me almost immediately. I never questioned it, I had just felt it was finally my time to shine.

It was not until my third year, when I met Chris, that I finally found out the truth.

Chris was a fun-loving, kind boy in his third year as well, he was always there when I needed a helping hand or a shoulder to cry on. I became so fond of him that I started to see him as a very good friend, until one evening, Chris and I were hanging out, taking a stroll like we usually do, when out of nowhere, he leaned in to kiss me.

“What are you doing?!” I asked in utter shock.

“Come on Dina, I like you, I’ve always liked you. I want you to be my girl.” Chris spoke confidently

“I'm flattered Chris, but I see you as a friend. Nothing more.”

Chris flared up immediately. “This is so unfair, I’ve spent so much of my time giving you attention, the same attention all these other boys gave you, probably even more. Yet you slept with them and you refuse to sleep with me!”

I froze, “I…don’t understand, what are you talking about?”

“Come on,” he rolled his eyes. “Everybody knows. Guys recommend you to their friends. They say you’re easy. All we have to do is show you a little attention.”

I instantly felt the blood drain from my face. Nothing could be more painful. All the pain from high school mixed with this new humiliation. It felt like my life had no meaning. Girls had used me. Boys had used me. No one thought of me as a human being, they all felt they could do whatever they wanted with me.

It was at that moment I made a very dangerous decision, if the world wasn't going to deal me a good hand, I would force a good hand myself.