Fighting For Normal

His Girl, But Whose Heart? (REVISED)

I looked down at the handful of hair, feeling that familiar knot twist in my stomach. This wasn’t normal. Not this much. Not anymore.

My grip on the brush tightened, the plastic pressing uncomfortably into my palm. Don’t panic, I reminded myself, but that thought didn’t help much anymore. It was tough to convince myself it was "just hair" when I knew there was so much more going on.

The brush slipped from my fingers and hit the floor, the sound muffled by the soft rug. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My teal walls, which usually made me feel safe, now felt like they were closing in on me. The cheerful paw print on my Happy Paws t-shirt felt like a harsh reminder of everything I was losing.

I raised my hand, fingers brushing the spot where the hair had fallen out. The skin felt tender, almost raw. Just another side effect, I thought.

Alright, Sloane. Breathe deeply. I inhaled, but the air felt stuck in my throat. The anxiety was always there, just below the surface, ready to explode.

Stage 2 Ewing Sarcoma. Those words kept ringing in my head, like a relentless beat that wouldn’t stop. It felt so unfair. I should be focused on finals, college applications, and the complicated world of teenage love. Evan. Chandler. Even Tahni, with her endless quest for romance, seemed to be doing better than I was.

I looked at my reflection, my eyes wide and filled with doubt. Evan was definitely cute, and we had been hanging out a bit. But were we "official"? Not even close, especially with Tahni making her intentions clear. And then there was Chandler... my brother's best friend. That was a no-go zone. He had promised to give me space to sort things out with Evan, but it was still complicated.

I tried to push those thoughts aside; the last thing I needed was to get tangled up in boy drama right now. I had to get to the shelter. The animals were counting on me. They didn’t care about my hair falling out or the tumor inside me. They needed me, and that was the only thing keeping me going.

But as I tied my hair back into a ponytail, my fingers caught on another patch of loose strands. I gasped. The situation was getting worse, and I felt like I was losing control.

A sudden, loud knock on the door startled me, making my heart race. I quickly checked the clock. I still had a few minutes left. But I couldn’t let Dad see me like this, not just yet.

“Almost ready, Dad!” I shouted, my voice sounding a bit too squeaky. I hurriedly scanned the room, my gaze landing on the beanie resting on my dresser. It was a cozy, knit beanie in a rich burgundy shade, complete with a fluffy pom-pom on top. It was one of my favorites, a gift from my Nonna Val.

I snatched the beanie and put it on, hoping it would cover up the worst of my mess. Taking a deep breath, I forced a smile and opened the door. Dad and Pops stood in the hallway, their expressions a mix of concern and… something else. Was it pity? I quickly averted my gaze, unable to hold their stare.

The sun was shining brightly on my shoulders as I walked along the path, surrounded by a lively group of furry friends. A beagle was trying to make a break for it through a hole in the fence, a fluffy poodle was busy investigating every single blade of grass, and a hyper Labrador puppy was doing his best to trip me with every step I took.

Suddenly, my phone buzzed in my pocket, making me jump. I reached for it, almost losing my balance as the Labrador puppy decided to chase after a butterfly at that very moment. "Easy there, buddy," I said, steadying myself.

A message from Evan appeared on my screen, and I couldn't help but smile a little.

Hey, you free to hang out again after your shift?

My smile faded a bit. Hanging out with Evan was… tricky. It was definitely fun, but also complicated. Especially with Chandler always around. And Tahni, who seemed to be everywhere.

Got a video game marathon planned with some friends. You can join if you want, I replied, trying to keep it casual.

Cool. Chandler gonna be there?

My stomach dropped. Of course, Chandler would be there. He was basically glued to my brother's side.

Probably. He's my brother's BFF.

There was a pause before he replied, I'll be there.

I quickly shoved my phone back into my pocket, feeling a mix of excitement and anxiety bubbling up inside me. This was going to be something else.

My shift finally wrapped up, and as I stepped out of the shelter, I squinted against the bright afternoon sun, with Bernard happily trotting beside me. I looked around the parking lot for Pops' familiar GMC Sierra, but my attention was caught by something surprising. A shiny, Cardiff green Genesis GV80 was parked near the entrance, sparkling in the sunlight. Leaning against it was Evan, looking way too cool for a Saturday at the animal shelter.

My heart raced. I didn’t think he would actually come to pick me up. His mahogany brown hair was perfectly tousled, and his dark eyes twinkled with mischief. His sun-kissed skin highlighted those ridiculously high cheekbones. He had this effortless confidence that could easily come off as arrogance, but somehow, it suited him perfectly.

Before I could fully grasp what was happening, Evan shot me a dazzling smile that could melt ice. "Hey there," he said, pushing off the car with a relaxed ease. His gaze shifted to Bernard, a playful smirk on his face. "Looks like you’ve got a bodyguard."

"He goes everywhere with me," I replied, giving Bernard a quick pat. "It’s one of the perks of working at an animal shelter."

"Lucky dog," Evan said, his eyes lingering on me. Then, with a wink, he added, "Thought I’d surprise my girl."

My girl. The words hung in the air, sending a thrilling shiver down my spine. He had never called me his girlfriend before. Was this a sign? Were we officially a thing now?

A wave of dizziness hit me, and I tightened my grip on Bernard's leash. It was probably just the heat. And the nerves about… everything.

Evan, completely unaware of my swirling thoughts, was already opening the passenger door of the Genesis. "Hop in, beautiful," he said, gesturing toward the passenger seat.

Still feeling a bit out of it, I reached for my phone and shot a quick text to Pops, telling him I was getting a ride home with Evan. When I settled into the plush seats of the car, the smell of leather mixed with Evan's cologne hit me, and I felt a rush of excitement. This was definitely not the way I had pictured my day wrapping up.

As we got closer to Stetson's door, we could hear muffled laughter and some playful trash talk coming from inside. I glanced nervously at Evan. "Just ignore them," I whispered, pushing the door open.

Inside, the usual chaos was in full swing. Stetson and Noelle were sprawled out on the floor, controllers in hand, completely absorbed in a fierce gaming showdown on the huge TV. Noelle was practically buzzing with excitement, shouting at the screen as her character took damage. Stetson wore a smug grin as he celebrated his victory.

Chandler was sprawled out in one of the beanbag chairs.. He wore that signature smirk that always made my stomach twist in knots. And beside him was a girl.

Her hair flowed in chestnut waves, and her bright green eyes were captivating. She was laughing at something Chandler had said, her head tilted back, and I felt an odd mix of emotions. Was it jealousy? Insecurity? I couldn't quite tell.

Maekynzie sat on the edge of Stetson's bed, scrolling through her phone while letting out the occasional gasp or exaggerated sigh. Emory lounged in the desk chair, trying to balance a bag of chips on his forehead. Meanwhile, Tinsley leaned against the wall, watching the video game showdown with a look of boredom.

When Chandler spotted me, his smirk grew even bigger. "Well, well, look who finally decided to show up," he said, his bright blue eyes sparkling with mischief. He pointed to the girl next to him. "Sloane, meet Reighlynn. Reighlynn, this is Sloane."

Reighlynn flashed a smile, her bright green eyes shining. "Hi," she greeted, her tone warm and inviting.

"Hey," I replied quietly, feeling a mix of emotions bubbling inside me. Luckily, Evan seemed completely unaware of the awkward vibe in the room. He was already busy checking out the video game collection, totally focused on the idea of some epic digital battles.

Stetson and Noelle took a break from their game, glancing back and forth between me, Evan, and Reighlynn. An awkward silence settled in for a moment. Then, Stetson broke the tension with a grin, a playful sparkle in his bright blue eyes. "Looks like someone’s got a new girl," he joked, giving Chandler a light nudge.

Chandler shrugged, his cerulean eyes locking onto mine. "Just hanging out," he said casually. But there was a slight change in his expression, a hint of something I couldn’t quite put my finger on.

I forced a smile, trying to push away the uneasy feeling in my stomach. "Cool," I said, shifting my focus to Evan. "So, what do you want to play?" I asked, eager to steer the conversation elsewhere.

Evan smiled back. "Anything you want," he said. Then he turned to Stetson. "Got any good ideas?"

As the afternoon went on, the tension in the room started to fade. Reighlynn turned out to be really easy to talk to, and I found myself enjoying her warm and friendly vibe. She had a quick sense of humor and seemed genuinely interested in me.

But every so often, I caught myself glancing at Chandler, and a sharp feeling hit me. He was sitting closer to Reighlynn than he usually did, their laughter blending with the sounds of the video game. It felt so different from how he used to look at me.

As the sun began to set, casting long shadows in the room, I couldn’t shake the feeling that things had shifted. The connection I once had with Chandler, which felt so safe and familiar, now seemed uncertain and delicate. Watching Reighlynn and Chandler laugh together made me wonder if I was losing him.

The night passed by, filled with laughter, video games, and surprisingly deep conversations. Yet, even with the easy jokes and the familiar vibe of my brother's friends, I couldn't shake off a feeling of discomfort. Every time I glanced at Chandler, I noticed a flicker in his eyes that I couldn't quite understand. Was it regret? Longing? Or was I just reading too much into it?

Later, as everyone was getting ready to leave, Evan pulled me aside. "Hey," he said quietly. "Can we talk?"

We stepped out onto the porch, where the cool evening breeze brushed against us. The familiar smell of pine and freshly mowed grass was a comforting contrast to the chaos swirling inside me.

"So, about what happened earlier..." Evan started, his eyes glued to the ground. "I wanted to say that I think we should make it official."

My heart raced. This was the moment I had been waiting for. But instead of the joy I anticipated, a wave of uncertainty hit me. Was this truly what I wanted?

"Really?" I managed to ask, my voice barely audible.

He nodded, finally meeting my gaze. "Yeah, really. I like you a lot, and I want to be with you."

A rush of relief washed over me, quickly followed by a twinge of guilt. "I like you too," I said, forcing a smile. "A lot."

But as we stood there under the twinkling stars, I felt a disconnect. The ache in my chest grew stronger. I couldn't stop thinking about what Chandler might be feeling. Was he back at his place, replaying the day in his mind, feeling the same regret I was? Or was he with Reighlynn, driving with the windows down, laughing freely, completely unaware of the mess he had left behind?

He leaned closer, his lips nearly touching mine. "So?" he murmured, his breath warm against my skin. "Is that a yes?"

I paused, my thoughts swirling with mixed feelings. Evan, with his effortless charm and good looks, seemed like everything I wanted. But then there was Chandler... the forbidden temptation, the guy who had a piece of my heart I didn’t even realize I had given away.

In an instant, I was back in Stetson's room, staring into Chandler's eyes. I pictured his lips on mine instead of Evan's. Would they feel as soft as I had always dreamed? Would his fingers weave through my hair, sending chills down my spine? Would his kiss be gentle and shy, or would it carry the same fire I saw in his gaze every time he looked at me?

But Chandler had made his decision. He had stepped back, allowing me to explore this with Evan. Maybe this was what I needed - a distraction, a way to move forward.

"Yes," I finally whispered, my voice barely above a breath.

Evan's face lit up with a victorious smile. He pulled me in closer, his lips meeting mine in a kiss that was both sweet and demanding. For a brief moment, I lost myself in the feeling, the warmth of his body against mine, the delightful taste of his kiss.

Yet, as we broke apart, my gaze drifted to the darkened window of my brother's room. The ache in my heart and the persistent doubt wouldn’t go away. The memory of Chandler's imagined kiss lingered on my lips, a bittersweet reminder of what could have been.