Haruchiro

chapter : 5

"I'll slap you across the face," she retorted. I glanced at her, pondering why I had posed such a question in the first place. She continued, "I'll slap you to bring you back to reality. Don't fret; you won't stray from the right path as long as I'm by your side." She paused briefly, then continued walking, with me trailing behind. "Who cares about such a foolish curse anyway? It seems like a rumour created by some worthless troublemaker," She hurriedly approached the crossing road, ready to cross. "Hurry up, Haruchi! You've been babbling about nonsense ever since Izumi left for his studies abroad." Checking her watch, she awaited the green signal, signaling our turn to cross. Just before stepping onto the road, she glanced back at me and declared, "I'm your family, so stop with the nonsense. I'll scold you when necessary. As long as I'm here, whatever those foolish people say you'll become, you won't. With me around, you'll never stray from the right path." Her words, unexpectedly comforting, left me speechless. She was right. As she prepared to cross the road, Tsubaki.

The last thing I heard was a deafening crash as Tsubaki fell lifelessly to the ground. Numbness enveloped me; my body refused to move. People gathered, chaos ensued, but everything appeared hazy. The only clear image was Tsubaki's lifeless body lying on the ground. From that day, the lantern that lit up my world started to disappear one by one. From that day, I started to believe that all these deaths were because of me, and I was the karma, the curse.

I found myself in the hospital, gazing through the glass at Tsubaki's lifeless body. Later, the police approached me, questioning me and providing details about the incident. It turned out that a Kawasaki Zephyr 400 motorcycle had been speeding. The Kawasaki Zephyr 400 was the motorcycle that struck Tsubaki, abruptly ending her journey. The murderer had not been captured yet, as no one had seen his face. But the investigation was still ongoing. I knew exactly who he was, but I kept quiet. Time passed as I wondered if I should informed Izumi Aniki or not. Finally, I decided not to.

'The death of Tsubaki marked the moment I descended into this chaos, allowing that curse to consume me.'

__________________________

I woke up in an unfamiliar room, my senses half-awake, the surroundings hazy. Pain throbbed in my chest. "You finally woke up?" a man's voice pierced through the dimness. As I turned to look, I saw Hiroshi, smoking and gazing out the window. The room was illuminated only by a dim ceiling light and the moonlight filtering in. "You're hurt pretty bad," he stated, turning towards me. "I've removed the bullet, but without proper medical care, it'll take time to heal completely." I remained silent, gazing up at the ceiling."Leave this village," he abruptly commanded. "What I've sought for years, I've found here. This place is my peace." His words hung heavy in the air. "If you stay, the tranquility of this village won't last. I won't let you destroy my freedom, my harmony."

"Harmony," I murmured weakly, meeting his gaze.

"Why do you wish to die?" he asked, searching for an answer that would satisfy him.

"Because..." I hesitated. "Death is the only place where I haven't looked for what I'm searching for."

"What are you searching for?" he inquired.

"The things you've found in this village," I replied. "Peace."

"It wasn't easy," he confessed. "To leave behind all I loved – my home, my family. To me, the Yakuza was my home, my family, the things I loved." The cold wind swept through the room as he lit another cigarette. "Killing, stealing, committing all manner of crimes – that's what people think defines the Yakuza. And they're not entirely wrong. But I cannot fully agree. Over time, what I once cherished has become a nightmare, consuming my soul, my heart, my freedom, and my peace."He rose and left the room, returning later with two cups of tea. "We have plenty of time," he said, handing me a cup. "Let's take it slow with some tea." I sensed he was about to share his story. I accepted the tea and watched as he settled by the window.

"My descent into this mess began in middle school," he began. "I despised delinquents for their arrogance and violence. But everything changed when I met my hero, Takashi." Memories flickered across his face as he recounted his encounter.

"But that thought of mine soon changed when I met my hero, 'Takashi'. Bruises covered my entire face, and his face was covered in the blood of the people he had beaten. 'You got your ass kicked, huh?' he said with a creepy smile, as if it was fun to beat up people, no matter the reason. 'Hey!' he said, almost yelling, or was that just how his voice sounded? I couldn't tell. 'What's your name?' he asked. 'Hiroshi.''If you don't fight, you'll get killed. In order to survive this crappy world, you need to fight, even if you're not a good fighter. Just keep fighting,' Takashi said. He continued, 'Do you know what ability all living things have? It's the ability not to give up. Pretty pathetic, right?' he laughed. He talked to me as if I were his buddy for a long time. 'Follow me, I'll give you treatment for your bruises.' Well, maybe that's just how he is. Nothing special. From that day, I started to admire him and think about how to live the life he had been living. It would be pretty cool and fun. I kept following him around since then."

"Haruchiro," he suddenly asked, leaving me momentarily speechless.

"why do you kill? For what purpose?"

"Because killing is my desire," I replied.

"Well, I can't recall why I killed," he said with a rueful chuckle, continuing his narrative.

"Takashi embodied true leadership; his presence brought solace to every member of our gang. He was the kind of guy who helped the weak and covered their mistakes. He was the top of the gang, and I just wanted to be like him. Soon, I became the best fighter. He tried to protect everyone. Maybe that was too much for him. But everything changed when our happy home, the gang, became bigger each day and committed criminal acts. Each one of us changed, including Takashi. He seemed perennially burdened by some unseen weight, perpetually searching.I could never understand how the world looked from his viewpoint; I failed to comprehend him."

"However, it didn't take long for my perspective to evolve. 'Takashi's lifeless body was discovered near the train station, his body split in half,' everyone thought he had been killed by someone on purpose, Yet, I alone knew the truth. I witnessed his departure, leaping just before the train's arrival, ending his wretched existence. I yearned to rescue him, to rewind time to a happier era. He, my hero. 'You wanted to save me, huh?' he said, looking at me with his lifeless eyes. 'I'm beyond saving,' a smile appeared on his face as he said that. But that smile was full of pain. He didn't look back anymore as he jumped off, and the speeding train split his body in half."

"After Takashi's death, I became the top member of the gang, or should I say, the criminal organization and I began to see what he saw. My once peaceful home morphed into a living nightmare, prompting me to question why I was still alive and what my purpose in life was. Soon, I found myself caught in a building explosion, as you already know. Miraculously, I survived, realizing that as long as they didn't find my dead body, they would continue searching for me. So, I fled to the military, where I remained hidden during training. I somehow felt safe there and eventually joined the military. After ten years of service, I resigned and stumbled upon this village, which has become everything to me. It is my new home."

As he concluded his narrative, he retrieved a cigarette and began to smoke. Despite his storytelling, I still found myself lost in the search for my own harmony. We inhabited entirely different worlds, his experiences diverging drastically from mine.

"It doesn't help in finding what you're searching for, does it?" he remarked. I remained silent.He continued, "You need to find your own path because it's yours. But what I know is that death is not the only answer."

Death must be a peaceful place. When I killed people, I felt as though I were doing them a favor. Their lifeless bodies falling to the cold ground, devoid of sensation or awareness. It must offer a kind of peace. Yet, while I could send others to that tranquil existence, I could never send myself. Instead, I found myself waiting for someone to deliver me to that world.

Glancing around, I noticed my blood-stained coat had been washed clean and hung beside the door."I noticed a pack of medicine for heart disease," Hiroshi suddenly mentioned. "Don't worry, I returned it to its place after Ishikawa washed it. She was quite worried, and I believe she will show herself here tomorrow," he chuckled as he walked out of the room.