The Long Road Home

Chapter Seventeen

Fin hesitated, turning on the light. He stood at the threshold of Gus’s childhood bedroom. It was stately, dark and lacked any sense of the boy and man that once called it home. There were no posters or art on the walls. The color was neutral and nothing was out of place.

Fin frowned. He was already embarrassed enough that he had to ask the staff where his brother’s room was. More disturbing was the fact very few seemed to know the answer. They were twins, but while Fin’s room was close to their parents’, Gus’s room was almost in another wing. It was shuffled off to the side and forgotten. Had it always been there? Why?

He vaguely recalled complaining to his parents that his own room was too dark and far away when he had a nightmare. His parents moved him closer, but did they not move Gus too? It would have made sense to move both rooms, but did they just leave Gus alone?

Fin shook his head, moving to the closet. He had come there for a reason. The closet was smaller than he expected, maybe only half the size of his own after it was remodeled. It was surprising how empty it was, considering how many clothes Fin kept in his own. He wasn’t sure if it was because he stayed at home more often or because Gus hadn’t been around for a long time. Not wanting to dwell on the thought, he turned his attention to the shelves.

There was an alarming number of boxes. With a sigh, Fin took them out and checked the contents. Most of it seemed to be overflow from his parents’ belongings. Confused, Fin moved on to the next box, then the next. Were his parents really using Gus’s room as another storage space? Where were his things going to go if he decided to move back?

Finally, Fin found the box he was looking for. He carried it out of the crowded closet, not bothering to put away the rest. Carrying it to the bed, he set the box down and opened it to peruse the contents earnestly. Inside, there were trophies, medals and certificates detailing Gus’s many accolades throughout school and college. There were awards for spelling bees, chess tournaments, debate clubs and, of course, track and field, which was what he was looking for.

Fin frowned as he took each medal and award out. There were so many and most were first and second place in varying long-distance races. Fin had focused on sprints during his brief time on the track team because there was less work. At least that was his perception. But Gus never minded tasks that took time to complete. Laying his brother’s accolades on the bed, Fin looked over them with a pensive expression.

His parents had several display cases for all of Fin’s various endeavors. There weren’t many trophies. Mostly, they were filled with Fin’s jerseys and equipment alongside photographs of him playing. Not all his teams were failures, but he never stayed with any for more than a year before moving on for one reason or another. If he was being honest, it was mostly because he caused issues among his teammates.

It turned out Fin wasn’t much of a team player. He always wanted to be the person people listened to, but coming up with strategies wasn’t his strong suit. Yet, Fin was also loud and tended to drown out the voices of others who knew what they were talking about.

Gus was much better suited for teamwork and leadership. Maybe that was why Fin was never satisfied with just being part of the team. He wanted to prove himself, but lacked the skills. Fin ended up causing strife among his teammates who wanted to win, but also didn’t want to offend someone from a prominent family.

Fin sighed, sitting on the desk chair as he stared at the bed. He was regretting poking through the past now that he was facing his own. Fin wasn’t even sure what he was hoping to find. Did he want Gus’s statement to be wrong?

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Fin struggled with the unfortunate truths he was learning. Life was so much easier when he viewed the past through rose-colored glasses. He had always viewed his childhood as perfect and happy with all the attention his parents showered him with. Fin never questioned it, and he never considered the fact Gus’s experience wouldn’t be the same.

“Oh, Fin. There you are!”

He looked up to see his mother. She frowned, stepping into the room and looked around as if it was her first time seeing it. Maybe it was the first time since Gus was a kid.

“What are you doing here in this—room?” she asked. “It’s so dusty in here. It’s not good for your lungs.”

“Mom, you do realize this is Gus’s childhood bedroom, right?” Fin asked.

“Gus? Oh, is it?” she looked around, studying it. Her gaze fell on the bed. “What’s all this? Are these some of your trophies we didn’t have room for?”

“No, these are Gus’s trophies.”

“What? Gus didn’t have any trophies.”

“Yeah, he did,” Fin frowned. “Spelling bees, debates, even track and field. Did you really never go to any of his meets?”

“Well, I’m sure we did…sometimes,” she hesitated.

“You never went to a single one, did you?” Fin asked. “You only went when I was at the meet too. And you left before you saw him run, right?”

“Oh, we would never do that,” she nervously waved off his accusations.

“Not even if I lost, and you wanted to cheer me up with a lunch even though Gus had yet to run his own race?”

She frowned, trying to recall the specific memory he referenced. Something seemed to click, and she shuffled her feet as she said, “I can see you are upset. Let me clean this up. I promise you won’t have to look at it again.”

“No,” Fin stood and quickly packed up the box himself. “I’ll take care of it.”

Fin carried the box to the door and hesitated. He looked back at his mother, who seemed confused and lost. After a moment, he spoke again.

“You know, if you ignored Gus his entire life, maybe we shouldn’t be surprised he decided to just disappear from ours.”

Fin hurried out of the room and to his car. He stored the box in the trunk, not sure what he was going to do with it but wanted to keep it safe. But why did he think it was in danger in the first place? Fin couldn’t shake the feeling that if he had let his mother take it, nothing inside would ever be seen again.

* * *

Fin sighed as he sat at his desk. His gaze went to the box he set on the coffee table in front of the couch and chair. He wasn’t sure why he brought Gus’s medals to the office, but it seemed the safest place. When he first took it, he had thought about hiding it in his condo, but decided against it. For some reason, he didn’t like the idea of hording his brother’s things there, but he also couldn’t leave them at home.

He wasn’t sure what to do with it now. His brother deserved to have his accomplishments on display. Certainly, little Jake would want to hear about his father’s academic and athletic pursuits. But would Gus want to be reminded of his less than stellar childhood? Fin wasn’t sure.

Nervously, he looked out at the city beyond his office windows. It was difficult to know what was right, and he didn’t have much time left. Gus had promised to arrive within a week and that time was rapidly running out. What was he going to say to his brother?

Should he admit that even after all Gus revealed he had his doubts and, looking into them, was his attempt to prove his brother wrong? He was sure Gus would have something to say about that. Fin was also sure he didn’t want to hear about it.

Given his mother’s reaction, though, it seemed he wasn’t the only one who was in denial about the past. Did he blame Gus for leaving? No. It was obvious his brother had enough of the treatment he received.

But Fin didn’t want him to disappear again. Maybe they didn’t have the most ideal childhood, but they were still brothers. Fin admitted he didn’t cherish that connection when he was younger, but he wanted it now. He wanted to be able to see his nephew and spend time with his brother and sister-in-law. She seemed an interesting person, down-to-earth, nothing like the women he met at galas and events. Gus was lucky to have her.

Fin had to admit he was jealous. Considering everything he now knew, Gus deserved his happiness. But was it too much to ask to be allowed to be a part of it?

Would Gus even allow it?

Fin was certain the answer was no.

Was there really no hope for the brothers?