Love Me Or I Die

CHAPTER 19

She put her clothes on and kept the gown she had worn last night carefully hidden. If it was possible, she did not want to wear it again. She felt disgraced and embarrassed when she wore it. It reflected the current state of her reputation.

After mocking herself, she tied her hair up and walked out. She had not forgotten that there was no one else around. There was no maid because she was one.

The door opened, and it stunned her for a moment. It was spick and span outside. Even the floor had been mopped and there were still traces of water.

But who could have done everything?

“Ahh, Mrs. Daniel. You are awake?” A young woman ran in from outside as she wiped her hands on her clothes. Her round face showed some anxiety.

“Mrs. Daniel, I-I am new here. You can call me Helen.”

She lowered her head and smiled shyly. There was a tinge of simplicity about her, not one of complexed mind.

“Mhm, I understand. You can carry on.” Lucia turned and walked back to her room. Sally had left and Helen was her replacement. She had nothing to do.

She sat by the bedside, took her sketchbook out of the drawer and started a new sketch. This time, the man in the drawing was not aloof or smiling. There was a weird confusion about him.

She still couldn’t recall what he had said before he left.

She stood up and drew the curtains back. She gazed out in a daze—the misty autumn colors was a warm yellow and tea. But her heart remained gray.

With her eyes closed, they gradually deposited a sense of indescribable loss.

‘Daniel, what was it you want? What was it you really want?’

When Daniel returned, he saw her eating and his eyes dangerously narrowed. Did she not take his words seriously? He had pushed Justin’s invitation away to rush back home. Yet, here she was, eating. Did she not think about him?

“Do you want some?” She asked once she saw him. She was slightly surprised, but she remembered to move away and offered him her seat. She had not been a fussy eater and would eat whatever was available. However, looking at the table of a few simple dishes, would he be able to do the same?

“Have you forgotten what I said?” He advanced towards her. This bloody woman. To think he had wanted to treat her better. She really doesn’t know what was good for her.

Did she have to do the opposite of what he said and provoke him?

“What did you say?” It confused her. She put her chopsticks down, feeling weird. ‘Did he say anything?’

“Lucia!” Daniel definitely raised his voice a notch while Lucia merely stared at him with her innocent eyes. She really couldn’t recall or maybe she did. But what exactly did he say?

Daniel closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Otherwise, he might have strangled the woman to her death.

“I told you we are going out for dinner. Now you’ve eaten, what am I supposed to eat?” he said between clenched teeth. This was the first time he lost all poise before a woman. It was also the first that a woman had not taken his words seriously.

“I’m sorry. I really couldn’t recall. If you want to eat, I can fetch you a pair of chopsticks.” Lucia stood up and walked into the kitchen. No one could see the look of disappointment as she turned around. She seemed to have missed something. She wondered if she would have another chance.

A bitter laugh. Some smiles were meant to fall helplessly.

She put a pair of chopsticks opposite her. She had not cooked a lot of dishes, and she wondered if it would be enough for him. After all, she had already eaten half of them. Would he like it?

Daniel’s eyes remained narrowed and directed at her as if he wanted to burn a hole in her body with his stare.

“I will go and change. Shall we eat out?” She did not sit as she wondered if it was too late to change.

“No.” The voice sounded cold, and she cowered at its tone.

Daniel sat down and lifted his chopsticks. All of a sudden, he did not feel like going out. He took a bite with his chopsticks. It tasted bland, with minimum salt and spice. It did not have an overwhelming flavor. However, to a man who had been starving, it was a delicacy.

Lucia turned around. With her curved eyelashes slightly fluttering, she stared—unmoving—at the man who was eating the dishes that she had cooked. She could feel her eyes turning misty. She felt moved.

As it turned out, they could co-exist peacefully like a normal husband and wife without mockery, hurt, or hatred.

“Do you think I’ll be full?” he looked up abruptly and stared at her, right into her pure and beautiful eyes. The corners of his lips curled up slightly. He seldom saw her look so silly.

It was easy to guess what went through her mind.

“Remember to wait for me tomorrow. Or else, you don’t ever have to eat again.” It was clearly a threat… but somehow, it was lacking.

Daniel had chosen to be a paper tiger in this instance.

She hurriedly nodded and sat down. She picked up her chopsticks and began to eat only the rice in her bowl.

“Why aren’t you eating with the dishes?” Her head was almost buried into the bowl. Did she think it was tastier to have just plain rice?

“There wasn’t much left. I was worried that it might not be enough for you.” She looked up and started counting the dishes left. It was indeed insufficient. She had eaten some, and so did he. If she continued, there won’t be any left.

“Remember to cook more next time. With so little, do you think you’re feeding a cat?” His fingers paused for a moment. Very seldom had a woman cared for him like this. Around him, women would refuse to eat because they were trying to slim down. Not because they were worried that he did not have enough. As for Sophia, he was always the one to care for her and pamper her. Naturally, she did not have to do this for him.

This was care without any motive. She had really thought it was not enough. He had the impression now: if they had only one bun now, she would rather starve to death and let him have the whole bun.

He gripped his chopsticks tight. Without knowing why, he felt more conflicted with his feelings now compared to earlier.

He had held onto some things stubbornly and consistently. However, gradually, little by little, they had started to loosen.

“Come here.” He put the chopsticks down and reached out. Lucia bit on her chopsticks and looked at him, bewildered.

“Woman, do not always make me repeat my words.” His voice deepened. Lucia finally stood up and walked over to him. However, she did not know what he wanted.

He pulled her easily with a backhand. She landed on his lap, and her cries for help were muffled between their kisses.

His kiss was extremely forceful as if he was going to consume her soul. She could only accept his plundering. They were like this from the start—him capturing and her succumbing.

He finally let go of her and placed a hand on her cheek, gently tracing her slightly swollen lips. He was the one who had made her lips rosy red. His eyes darkened slightly.

“Lucia, remember, this is mine.” He put his hand on her lips. “Only I can touch them.” Then his hand shifted down to her waist. “Your body is mine, too. Only I can look. And…” Did something flash across his dark eyes?

His fingers went to her upper chest. “This is mine, too. Your whole being, your soul, your life. All of you belong to me.

“Do you understand?” He grasped her sharp chin and looked at her blinking, gentle, bright, and big eyes. They were beautiful—one of the most beautiful he had seen, but they were also the most wicked. He still had not forgotten how his Sophia had died.

“Lucia, you killed Sophia. You must use your whole life—your everything—to pay me back.”

His voice was like a huge black net, capturing Lucia’s heart securely.

She just nodded her head lightly. She knew and understood her place in this marriage, but she just wished he could treat her less cruelly and hurt her less. She could take the pain in her body, but please, don’t hurt her heart anymore.

This man was always like this. Just when a person started thinking he was treating them differently, he would hurt them instead.

“You’re crying again.” He placed his finger under her eye, rubbing away her tears gently. He then put his finger against his lips. This was the first time he took the initiative to taste a woman’s tears.

He never thought it would be so salty between his lips… and slightly bitter.

Sometimes, hatred was a double-edged sword. When a person hated someone, that person might actually be hating themselves, too.

When he was hurting someone… maybe, he was being hurt, too.

This battle between them seemed to reach a deadlock.

“Good girl. Remember to wait for me tomorrow.” He bit her earlobe but realized that her soft ear had turned red. It was cute.

Not only did her eye rim turn red, but her eyes were also turning red, too. He said ‘tomorrow’. Was there really going to be a ‘tomorrow’?

She was extremely moved by his small kindness, but she never thought that behind his kindness, there might be an ulterior motive.

Daniel put his hand on her head, his lips curving into a perfect smile. She was not sure what meaning the smile held.

However, it definitely was not a genuine smile. It would never appear on someone as cold as him.

Lucia was waiting for tomorrow nervously, the tomorrow he said.

She had already changed into a new set of clothes. In the mirror was a woman smiling brightly with a hint of silliness and naivety. She was not crying anymore… but smiling.

Daniel, her husband. She sat at the top of the bed, her fingers brushing gently against another pillow. Last night, they spent yet another quiet and blissful night together again. He kept holding her as they slept. She thought that there was nothing but hatred between them, but that was not the case now. Their relationship was improving gradually; it kept changing.

He could not love her, but at least hate her less.

She turned her head, but when she saw the huge wedding photo that was still hanging on the wall, her heart turned cold suddenly. Sophia was smiling so perfectly, so effortlessly.

“Sister, he loved me, he hated you.”

Lucia tasted a faint bitter understanding on her lips. She knew that.

“Sister, are you still hoping that he would love you?”

Lucia’s heart jolted. She stood up. Yes, she was hoping. Every action he made—every ounce of goodwill he expressed—made the love she had given up on revive again.

The love she felt for this man was unexpectedly deep.

There was a knock on the door, and she hurried forward, thinking it was him. Then again, she had forgotten that he had no need to knock the door when he entered the room.

“Dan…”

The moment she opened the door, her face changed instantly from anticipation to disappointment.

It wasn’t him.

“Ah, Mrs. Daniel. I’m sorry for bothering you.” Helen placed her hand on her head sheepishly.

“Mhm, it’s okay.” Lucia shook her head and tried her best to force her lips back into a smile, but she realized it took too much effort.

“Mrs. Daniel, I actually have something to tell you.” She smiled again. She was really an innocent kid. She did not even notice the obvious disappointment on Lucia’s face.

“Master called just now to say that he might not be able to come back home tonight. You can have dinner on your own.”

Helen finished, waiting for her reply. Lucia smiled suddenly, her smile full of bitterness.

“Mhm, I know.” It was a simple ‘I know’, but it was filled with disappointment beyond words.

He was not coming back.

He was really not coming back.

He broke his promise.

She sat back at the side of the bed. She placed her hand on her cheeks, trying hard to maintain the smile on her face. It was not a smile to show others, but she had to at least show it to herself.

It was okay. She shook her head lightly, mocking herself. It was not the first time anyway. She should be used to it. When she thought of this, her face darkened immediately. She really wanted to go. She had been looking forward to it the whole day and prepared for it the whole day. No one could see her disappointment, but it was apparent to her.

She kept waiting foolishly. She looked at everything outside, opened and closed her eyes. However, her eyes still contained that person’s silhouette until some light finally disappeared under her eyes.

The door opened again, and she continued her actions until she smelled a strange scent of flowers in the air. She lowered her head to see a prettily wrapped bouquet of bellflowers.

“Were you waiting for me?” Daniel stood in front of her like a god. He was an extremely honorable man: clad in a tuxedo, his face cold and expressionless, a pricey watch on his wrist—all while holding a bouquet of flowers. It was a little silly, actually. He had sent women flowers before, but it was all sent by his secretary. This was the first time he held a bouquet of flowers. It was unbelievable even to him.

He, CEO of the Daniel's Group, personally went to the florist to get a bouquet of flowers?

“Why… are you…?” Lucia felt like she was being suffocated by the flower fragrance and did not know where to put her hands suddenly.

“I thought you said you weren’t coming back today?”

She lowered her head again, staring at the bouquet of flowers in his hand. Were they for her… or for someone else?

It should be for her, right?