Love Me Or I Die

CHAPTER 13

It did not worry him that others might know. He just hates to be manipulated.

Lucia looked at him with a miserable smile. In his opinion, she would never go behind his back to complain about him. This was Sophia’s special treatment, and she had no right to do that.

“Do you think I will tell them anything if they asked me something?” Lucia softly said. She fearlessly looked into his dark eyes, but her heart had been ruthlessly slashed. She could feel the smell of blood spreading although her face remained calm. No one knew just how mentally challenging it was for her to look at him in an eye-level.

“You can be rest assured that I did not tell them anything. They asked me how I was doing and I said I was fine.” She added in her heart: brutally well .

He was sure that she would not tell anyone. His cruelty was her embarrassment. She did not want anyone to know the kind of life she was leading—especially to Dora, Daniel's mother. If she found out, she would be laughing to her heart’s content.

“Aren’t you getting better and better at retorting?” Daniel suddenly lowered his head and bit her lips until it bled. It was always the same for them. As if they were a pair of porcupines that prick and hurt each other. Where matters of the heart were concerned, he hated her, but she loved him deeply.

With their love and hatred intertwined together, who could say for sure that she was the only one hurting?

It was impossible for him to love her. However, for her to not love him, maybe she could do that one day.

Her long eyelashes fluttered like a pair of invisible wings. Then it was shattered and lost. She reached out her hands in the air and hesitated. Finally, she took the initiative to hug the man who was torturing and abusing her. She had loved him so deeply, and she realized that in the short span of a few days, her determination was already dissolving.

At times, she was afraid—afraid that his hatred would crumble her love. If comes the day that she would stop loving him, it would otherwise mean that her persistence for the past years, the wait, her time, and the heartache she went through would have accounted as nothing.

Daniel felt his body shiver. This time, he kept licking the wounds on her lips. He could taste her blood and her tears.

Her face had paled. She pulled her hands away as though she did not want to give him her pain. As it turned out, her love was so insignificant, so heartbreaking, and so undignified.

“Ehm…” she started to cry all of a sudden. She bit her lips and cried. By then, tears had streaked down her porcelain face. Just a slight push and he may crush her soul.

Daniel abruptly stopped his movements. “No crying,” he softly ordered as if he was suppressing something. She slightly shook her head. She did not want to, but she could tolerate it no more. The tears fell on their own accord.

“Is it that miserable for you to be physically intimate with me?” He had stopped, but he was still inside her. Her veins were vaguely visible on her forehead. She was enduring and so was he.

“Pain…” Tears had made her vision hazy. She could only make out the man’s blurry silhouette. A single word escaped from her mouth; however, it was not out of misery—it was of pain.

Daniel blinked hard, and he held on tightly to her waist, his hand wrapped around it.

He realized he could not bear to make this particular woman suffer. His dark eyes became more profound as he slanted himself and pushed. He saw the tears falling rapidly from the corners of her eyes. He did not feel the thrill of revenge. Instead, he felt as if the corner of his heart had been slightly ripped apart, followed by a draft of cold air funneling through.

“I want you to feel pain. You thought I wanted a cheap body like yours? If you are not in pain, I will make you feel pain.”

He came to a realization: she was in pain and so was he.

In the process of venting his frustration, he never once cared that she was still a virgin, nor cared about her small build. He had used the cruelest method to torture her body and soul from the very beginning.

Finally, he removed himself after being satisfied. But, she weakly fell on the floor. Her eyes were void of expression. They kept staring at the photo on the wall. She thought, “Sophia, did you see that? He was exacting revenge on your behalf. Yet, do I owe you anything? Do I owe anyone in my family?”

The sound of running water came from the bathroom. She was more degraded than a p********e, it had brought her more shame. Too embarrassed to even face herself, she hugged both her legs and squeezed herself tightly together.

Daniel emerged, baring his sturdy and sexy chest. His legs, especially, were perfectly straight. There was a dignified aura about him that even wearing a simple bathrobe could not hide the sharpness.

He stood at the bathroom door and watched the woman who was sitting in a corner. An inexplicable feeling of frustration rose from within.

“Go and take a shower. You are so filthy, you disgust me.” He walked past her. The corner of his robe drew a breeze which lightly brushed on her face. It also marked her with a look of despair. She had no idea what grazed her eyes, but when she realized what it was, unconsciously, her tears had already fallen.

The pain and soreness between her thighs were unbearable as she stood up. She made her way to the bathroom with difficulty, one step at a time. Daniel’s eyes darkened from not far away as he took a stick of cigarette out from the side table. As he elegantly exhaled puffs of smoke, he did not realize that his eyes had shifted from staring at the bathroom door to the portrait which hung above the bed.

Lucia covered her mouth under the running hot water. The running water muffled her crying.

He narrowed his eyes and blinked as she finally walked out of the bathroom. He could feel the cigarette burning his fingertips.

He had not smoked much on that stick of cigarette. It had extinguished itself.

He snuffed the cigarette out, but he did not disregard her slightly red and puffy eyes. She had been crying. This woman could really cry a lot. He frowned and a few wrinkles showed on his forehead from his habitual frowning.

They were sisters. Sophia never cried. He forgot that no one would treat Sophia in such a cruel way. Everyone treasured her, and it included him. But Lucia wasn’t treated the same way. She was a sinner—one who everybody accused and judged.

What else could she do if not cry?

Lucia came around to the bedside and laid on the corner, far away from him. Perhaps she knew that he hated being close to her or maybe she was already so scared that she even coiled her body together.

With the things between them, were they still husband and wife?

And Daniel—was he still the one who had promised to return for her?

She closed her eyes and her lashes lightly fluttered. There was only darkness in her world and she did not know when dawn would even approach her horizon.

On the other side of the bed, Daniel picked up a stick of cigarette, put it at his mouth and lighted it. He seldom smoked but this time, he lighted one stick after another in a daze. The smell of tobacco lingered in the air. Lucia unconsciously turned her body and coughed softly. That abruptly stopped Daniel’s hand in mid-air.

He snuffed the cigarette and turned his head to look at his wife who was a distance from him. He suddenly moved closer. He reached out and gently touched her cheek. It was only when his hand brushed against her long eyelashes that he abruptly pulled away.

He closed his eyes and turned the bedside lamp off. The room fell into complete darkness filled with their frequent interlaced breathing. Through the interlacing, their breathing gradually fell in the same rhythm.

They did not know how long they slept. The sky outside was still dim, it was still some time away from daybreak. Lucia sat up and she felt the pain in her lower body. She discreetly looked at him, the man who was sleeping not far away from her; at Daniel, her husband and the man she loves—but then, he hated her.

The bed could easily fit five or six persons. But they each occupied one corner, far from the other. She smiled in self-mockery. However, she moved closer to him with the utmost care she could muster.

She shifted right in front of him, and she looked at him sadly. It was only at a quiet time that she could stay beside him and keep him company in a dimly lighted room. The man had thin lips, and he hardly smiles for they were usually pursed tightly together. He had a pair of brilliant eyes, sharp but perceptive at the same time. And his nose, it gave him an overall character to his features. He had a slightly westernized look, and yet with the mystery of an Asian’s. Women would absolutely go crazy for a man like him.

For her, she knew that was just the way he slept. When he’s awake, there would only be cruelty on his face. His heart was ruthless. He hated her, so he would not show her any compassion. Who else in this world would care for her?

She blinked—there was a drop. She lowered her head and realized her tears had fallen on the back of her hand. Then she moved away.

“I’m sorry,” she absentmindedly apologized and forcibly wiped her tears away until her face turned red.

She dared not move him, dared not even touch him.

Her fingers tightened into a fist and loosened. Finally, she put her small hand on his face.

“I have no regrets marrying you. No matter how cruel you treat me,” she said with her hand on his face. She realized she was tearing up again. She quickly turned her face away while something rolled from her eyes.

“I don’t—seriously no regrets.” She shook her head. “But did you know?” There was an undeniable sadness in her voice. “I have no regrets, but I’m afraid that one day I will stop loving you, and you will no longer be in here.” She rested her hand over her chest. “I already have forgotten how it felt like when I first started loving you.”

She sniffed. She sobbed for a while before removing her hand and retreating into her corner. This was her whole World—her lonely world.

She was not aware that Daniel had opened his eyes. He was deep in his thoughts, and his lips curled up.

He suddenly placed a hand over his face. No one should know what had gone through his mind as he squinted. Even the darkness could not hide his brute aggressiveness. He rubbed hard on his face again, as if trying to wipe the invisible germs away.

Rays of light landed on the man’s face in the dark. In the partial darkness, a thought flashed in his eyes.

******

Lucia held a rag in her hand and stood at the window with half her body hanging off. She looked out from the second story of the villa. It was not that high, but from where she was, she could feel waves of dizziness in her head. She quickly held onto the window and moved her body out of the way.

She abruptly stopped what she was doing and looked down once more. Now, her bright eyes were slightly misty. Would one die from a fall of such a height? Would it be liberating?

The Lucia at that moment was serious about trying. If she died, would anyone cry for her? Or…

A sneer?

“What are you doing?” a man roared all of a sudden. Lucia hastily grabbed the window. She almost allowed herself to fall over, but then something powerful grabbed her—so powerful that it almost crushed her bones.

“What were you doing? Thinking of dying?” Daniel said in fury. His eyes looked angry. Was it from worrying? Or what?

“You saw me. I was wiping the window,” Lucia replied plainly as she looked up. He looked angry enough to swallow her whole. However, she did not believe he was worried about her.

“Which bloody i***t asked you to do this?” The man had lost his poise. He was enraged as if he wanted to eat her up.

“Have you forgotten that it was you?” She watched him lay his hands on her shoulders. Her voice mocked him, and the tone was laced with sarcasm.

His fingers relaxed. While Sally stood aside and cowered. In fact, she really wished Lucia fell.