KELENNA

Proof

"You're not going to check what's in those bags?"

I asked Jideka after changing into more casual clothes, ready to go buy something outside along the street. Noticing he was still seated at the bed since we came in, and now he was chuckling at something on the phone.

"Should I?" He briefly raised his head and furrowed his brows at me.

"Why should you not?"

"Emm, nothing I just thought you'd want to do it yourself."

"What? Why? Is it a birthday surprise package or what?" I rolled my eyes, wetin this one de even talk sef.

"So if it's a birthday gift you won't let me touch it then?"

"Do you even hear yourself Jide?"

He made a stupid face and ignored me.

"What are you smiling at, show me."

"No I'll not." He quickly locked the phone and shoved it at the edge of the bed.

Well, okay then... I just picked the phone up, held it up my face and it unlocked immediately.

The smug smile on his face melted away instantly and he looked at me, stunned.

"Kel did you just..." He paused and sighed, then just shook his head with a smile.

What a waste of my time! Here I was, thinking that this boy is secretly married or something, but turns out he was just smiling at a video of some cute kids doing funny things on YouTube.

"Why were you hiding this Jide? Are they your kids or something?"

"Won't be bad if they were." He shrugged.

I just side eyed him.

"Why are you still glued here since? Won't you go take your bath?"

"I would have gone but I was waiting for you."

Lies.

"Me?"

"Why did you spend much time in there?"

Jide wasn't waiting for me at all, that, I am very sure of. He would have taken his bath if he wanted to but he's just looking for excuses and who to blame for his laziness.

"I thought you were engrossed in your phone, how were you also keeping tabs on how much time I spent in the bathroom?"

"That is not the answer to my question Kelenna."

"Are you going to beat me if I don't answer or what?"

"You want to try and see?"

"Are you being serious right now?"

"I don't know... but hey Kel you reallyyy took quite some time in there sha..." He leaned closer and lowered his voice "...tell me...what...were you really doing?"

"Get out you dunce, I was cleaning it! What the heck else do you think I shoould be doing??"

He burst out laughing.

"Jeez!"

"Stop... puffing your cheeks Kelenna, you look like a child." The i***t laughed harder and I joined him seconds later.

"So you scrub toilets and bathrooms?" Was the first thing he asked after we stopped laughing.

What?! This...this Jideka, where did I know him from again?? I pinched the space between my brows and took a deep breath.

"I never said I was scrubbing the toilet Jideka, I was washing the bathroom, I did that one this morning. And if I don't do it, who else should have?"

"Oh... hahaha-"

"Shut up werey!" I felt like knocking his head, and I did... Lightly.

"Were you really cleaning?"

"Yes."

"Proof?"

"I'm sure your birth certificate will do."

"I burnt it."

"What?!"

"Kidding."

"You better be. Were you not the one that said your mom told you to wash toilets in the morning when the English teacher asked you why you were late back in secondary school?"

He frowned "Alright no need to start recounting history nobody paid you for, I was just joking."

"Joker. You better stand up from there and go wave at the bathroom before I'm back. And, I'll be leaving with this..." I waved his phone at him and slipped it into my pocket before he could snatch it away from me "...I think it's distracting you."

"Where are you going?"

"To buy something, aren't you hungry?"

"Ehh? Wait I hope it's not-"

"Get moving Jideka, I don't want to meet you there by the time I'm back." I banged the door close, but not without hearing Jideka mutter 'if you like break person door.'

It was already getting dark and I didn't want to spend much time outside, so I quickened my footsteps, only for me to see that the woman that sells akara a few blocks away didn't come out today.

Now I have to reach the junction, I would have settled for another thing but I haven't had this since I left home, it's Jideka's fault for showing up today that I'm craving it so bad.

I reached the junction fast and went to the lady at the first stand. She had a small banner that read Celebrity Akara. Omo no be small thing oh.

"Hello!! good evening oo" She was occupied with scooping the latest batch out of the hot oil..

"Evening oo welcome." She raised her head. "How much own wey you want? E still dey hot."

"Abi? Na una dey hot now nah, put 1k own."

"Oya when you go come join us make you sef follow dey hot?"

"Ahhh!! Soon, soon enough I will, shey their mama don already tell us say e go empower us with 50k make we come join una boat or go roast corn and kuli kuli. Save better spot for me here abeg, once the money reach my side I go put body sharp sharp."

"Hahaha, us wey dey here e never even reach our side sef. See am here." She finished packing my order, tied it in a nylon and handed it to me.

"Ewo, na e be say I no get hope nah." I took it and paid her.

"Provide evidence of intention... and I go... sponsor the business for you!"

That wasn't from the lady, so I turned back to see a guy tumbling over in his steps with a goofy smile, drunk as heck.

"Haa who be this one? Abeg comot for road."

"Which kind evidence, customer please no mind am, you need any other thing?"

"I am who they call... The Big Bog...Baggy! I say what... I do... I do what... I say. I wanna give you..." He slurred with a fake life accent.

I really don't have the time and strength for things like this right now. I turned back to the lady.

"Ma please make the akara 1500, then put akamu 200 and sugar of 150. If you have soyabean put two of the 100 one and two sachet of milk."

"Okay I will, I'll just tell my neighbor to bring the milk."

"Umm... tell your neighbor to bring one Hungry-Man noodles, two eggs and fresh tomatoes of 500 as well."

Incase dem don swear for Jide say make e no ever drink akamu, so he won't have to sleep without eating.

After packaging everything I bought in a bigger nylon, I paid the lady and she thanked me.

And I was ready to walk back, when...

"Why are you still standing there and wasting my precious time with these lowlifes Victoria??!!!" A voice thundered.