Letters through a lifetime

Adoration

Love is almost never reciprocated. You either love or are loved, very rarely do both occur. Sadly for women like Tamsin, she was loved. Her love was all consuming and only ever hurt her. She held on and waited for people to change. People don’t change, they have made their mind up about how they will treat you.

Angelina had a mother, Tamsin did not in a sense. You see a mother is someone who is meant to protect you, someone you should feel comfortable confiding in, someone you run to when you are troubled. She knew that she could not count on her mother for any of that. She knew better than to rely on her mother for love and empathy. That is exactly why she did not tell her mother that she had opened mail that was not sent for her, she would only make matters worse.

Desperate prayers and curses made their way into her vocabulary hoping that James will send another letter to ease her guilt. Would she be able to resist opening the letter this time?

She is talking a leisurely stroll down her garden this windy September evening. She loves feeling the flowers against the tips of her fingers. Her mother watched her from the window thinking about the many ways she might have gone wrong. Her daughter was a dreamer. Dreamers never succeed. They are destined to be unhappy. She had spent her whole life trying to avoid this. Beating her spirits and encouraging her to be more like her sister. She had no idea what to do to help her daughter become more reasonable and approachable to men. Tamsin will be a spinster for her entire life. She could not even pawn her off to some old man. It’s probably because of all the books she read. Oh how she wished the girl would be more like her sister.

Tasmin continued walking, having a conversation with herself, unaware of her mothers presence.

“It cannot be that bad to open the letter. If I had not opened it would sit there untouched for months. My mother would have probably lost it if clumsy women misplaced everything. It’s not like he won’t write another one. If he had loved her sister like he said in that letter there would certainly be millions of millions of letters.”

She put her thoughts to rest when she found a nice place to rest. She sat down under a shady apple tree and looked around at the garden.

Oh is the world not filled with wonders. Look at how much beauty humans were blessed with.

She watched the school children run around and suddenly envied how carefree and innocent they were. They do not have to fill their mind with nonsense like courting or how to find a beau. They were aware that their girlhood would end too fast, the second a man found her attractive. Then they would become a woman totally against their will only to let a man or her family dictate her entire life. Sometimes she wondered if her sister thought these things too or whether she was happy about it. Life has blessed her with immense beauty and talent but even then beautiful women will never escape the wrath of men and society.