Free mate

Through the night

There, in the dark room alone with him I stay awake to watch Daniel. So much is hidden by those big bandages keeping him together tonight but there are old scars too. Some so faint that I almost miss them, some bigger and my heart aches for him. For both of us, too young to be wearing this much hurt on our skin and more where it's not visible, hidden under calm expressions and fake laughs. I hesitate before touching him again, now that it's a choice and not a reflex but Oscar's words echo in my head. It's not really a choice even now as much as it is a need, the only thing I can do to help him now. His face is tense even in sleep, sweat curling his hair.

I trace my fingers on his broad chest, following an old mark of cuts in his shoulder. The muscles on his arms, knuckles full of old scars. Up again to his face where I stroke his cheek gently, moving to his soft hair. There's a small sound, barely a hum but his eyes stay closed. Daniel is much bigger than I am but still young, it's easy to forget sometimes. I take his hand in mine, tangling our fingers together.

"You're still here", Daniel's voice is hoarse and he doesn't seem to be fully awake. I almost drop his hand but fight the instinct, just giving a little squeeze instead. His not opening his eyes and I'm pretty sure his passed out again.

"Just sleep, I'll be here", I whisper, still holding his hand.

I sit there until Sera wakes up the first time, making a quick check. She yawns, making me do the same though I try to contain it. She notices and smiles a little.

“You can sleep too, he'll be okay. The worst is past now.” I just smile back silently and once she's satisfied goes back to bed, leaving me alone again.

I am tired now that the adrenalin is leaving and I'm not sure I could stay awake all night even if I tried. The couch is big but I still hesitate for a long time before carefully climbing over him to the side that's less wounded. I'm glad no-one is here to see my ungraceful climbing when I try my best no to disturb Daniel. Despite trying to keep a small distance there's not enough space so I end up laying close to him. Through the smell of blood and sweat there's a fresh smell of rain and forest lingering on him.

I thought I couldn't ever let him touch me without being afraid but now on his side I fall asleep before realizing.

It was still dark when I wake up. After a second of confusion I understand that I'm resting my head on Daniel's shoulder, his hand loosely around me. I freeze, waiting for him to move but he's still sleeping, heartbeat steady under me. Slowly I relax again, letting the steady rhythm calm me down. I enjoy the moment but eventually pull back to watch Daniel. He looks much better already, still pale but not quite so in pain. Werewolf healing will never cease to amaze me, I was afraid he would die and only few hours later he is healing. I get up, climbing over the couch back rather ungracefully. I can still feel the bond, even though we aren't touching. Daniel moves in his sleep, groaning a little before falling back to deep slumber. I smile at him before moving to the window to look outside.

The sun is starting to rise, orange sky showing between the buildings. Staring outside images of Daniel bleeding on the couch replay in my mind, making my eyes sting. I grew up in violence but I hated how my new life seemed to have so much of it too, confused by the anger I felt burning me alive from the inside when I thought about the wolves that hurt him.

The bond felt strange, dimming now that I had stepped away from my mate. I had avoided thinking about that but now it felt so natural that I couldn't push it aside. It wouldn't fix things, I knew I'd still be worried when he was better and more threatening but I didn't mind the connection as much as I thought I would. I hadn't intended for this but sleeping and touching him had changed something in our bond for good.

“You can go to sleep in your bed if you want”, Sera had walked in to check up on Daniel, startling me. She probably had done it while I slept next to him too, the thought made me blush. I shook my head.

“I want to stay with him for now.”