The Irresistible Love

Feeling Her

JOSH POV:

I begin missing her the moment she walked out of my sight. JANE, her name is magical just like her. I had caught myself reciting her name in my mind countless times since the day I met her for the first time. 

I managed to abstain from visiting the packhouse for almost seven days but it was getting too difficult for me now. I doubt if she is aware of that but I used to catch her glimpse every now and then through the window of my room when she used to come to the lake in the evening with Shannon and Kiara. I gather she had developed a good bond with others. My days used to start with the hope of seeing her again on the lake and end with her smiling face. Unsurprisingly, I had never seen her laughing.  

My body had begun to succumb to the trauma I was putting myself through. The trauma of staying away from her. All my plans and endeavors to keep her out of my head were failing miserably. As if the days were not challenging enough, every night seemed worse than hell. Every night my body craved for her; for her touch. 

One night, I could not resist going to the packhouse. I had given her a room with a window opening to the outside. The time stopped for a minute when I saw her through the window. She was sleeping curled up. I felt my nerves calming down and my heart smile. I wondered how would she look sleeping next to me. She was tempting me to scoop her in my arms and take her to my bedroom. However, after spending about two hours looking at her, I persuaded my heart to go back to my place. I wanted to breathe, touch, and feel her every second of every day. I should have waited for her.            

This was the first time I was so excited about visiting the packhouse. Even though I knew I should shift the dinner to my house, my heart did not comply. Christian incited me over for the dinner and from that moment on I started waiting for the night.  

"Look who we have here," Christian shouted when I entered the packhouse. I smiled at him and started searching for her. Everyone gathered around the couch but she was nowhere. "What's up buddy?" I asked James before plopping on the couch. I was not very much in contact with everyone in the house due to my work. the people were milling about. I chit-chatted with some other pack members but all this while my eyeballs kept swinging from one corner to another in the search of her. 

I was running out of patience. I could not help but wonder about her whereabouts. Before I could take control of my feelings, my legs got me up and carried me towards the kitchen. Maria was outside catering to the pack members. I stood at the door when I saw her back. She was taking something out of the oven not unaware of my presence. 

My legs started moving to take me to her. whereas my eyes were traveling all over her body. This is funny how she was controlling my body even without knowing.   

She turned around on hearing my footsteps. I felt breath stuck in my lungs when she showed me her face. She was looking directly at me and I was at her. This was our moment. We were communicating our feelings for each other without using a single word.  "You want something?" she asked quietly.  

You

I thought in my mind. "Yeah, a glass of water," I replied looking away. She put out a water bottle from the fridge and poured water in a glass. My eyes were watching her every movement as looking away was not even an option for me. She extended her arms to get me the glass but the only thing my hand reached out for was her hand. She winced when I wrapped my hand around hers. I couldn’t help it. My body was craving for her touch. She looked up only to find my eyes already caressing her face. A current shot through my body reviving the sinister desires in me. I tightened my hold.

Now I realized what one touch from that one person can do to you. “Alpha, you should have told me if you needed something. Why did you trouble yourself?” I heard Maria’s voice from my behind. Jane kept the glass on the table and moved to one side whereas I turned around. “It’s okay. I just needed some water,” I said dismissively.

With that I walked towards the door. “Alpha, water,” Maria pointed towards the glass on the table. s**t, I had completely forgotten about that. “Huhh? Ohh yes. I need water” I quickly picked the glass and moved out but before stepping out I took a glance at her. She was standing in a corner gazing down at the floor. 

“Hey guyz, come in food is ready,” Shanaya called me and Christine as we were standing outside discussing business. I sat on the head chair whereas Christine sat next to me. The table was embellished with a number of dishes and I wondered which ones of them are made by her. My lips curled into a smile. 

Christine was telling me something when I saw her coming out of the kitchen. She had a bowl in her hand and she was approaching the table. I sat straight hoping to catch her attention. I had stopped listening to Christine the moment she arrived. My entire focus had shifted on her. After placing the bowl, she stood up in a corner just like Maria had taught her. My heart ached on seeing her like this.   

“Maria, you two also join us on the table,” I ordered Maria without looking at Jane. “No sir, we are fine,” Maria smiled. “No, you too are a part of us. Come on, sit down,” I insisted. I wanted to eat with my mate. 

Maria sat down after calling Jane to the table. Mat offered her a seat next to him. She accepted by flashing a smile his way and that was the moment I wanted to tear him into many pieces. She should be sitting next to me. She should be smiling at me and not at anyone else. I can’t explain how much I was hating and envying Mat in that moment. I shifted my focus to the food. 

“Jane, what have you made today?” Christine asked her casually. The question grabbed my interest instantly. I looked up at her. “I have made cupcakes as that is all I know,” she answered trying to hide the embarrassment that was reddening her cheek. “Wow we love cupcakes,” Christine tried to comfort her. I smiled to myself. My mate doesn’t know how to cook. 

I quickly finished my food and asked for the cupcake. Everyone who was still in the middle of their dinner gave me a surprising look. “What? I was hungry,” I defended my senseless acts. “Let me get you cupcakes,” My girl spoke up. She also had not finished her food and I did not want her to leave in the middle only to get me the cupcake I was dying to taste. “No, it’s okay I’ll wait. You finish your food,” my heart was grinning today. 

My eyes were glued to her. I tried to look away but every time I did my eyes wandered back on her.  Even though she was sitting 6 chairs away, I could still sense her nervousness. Why was she nervous? I felt the urge to hold her hand and make her feel protected. I wanted to do to her what she was doing to me. 

Finally, the cupcakes arrived. I picked chocolate and strawberry flavor from the tray that Maria had extended towards me. Without wasting a second, I started devouring the cupcake my angel had made. It was indeed delicious. My heart swelled with pride and love when I heard everyone praising her. She again had disappeared somewhere. I chased her scent and found her standing outside all alone. 

Was she feeling lonely? I walked up to her. “Your cupcakes are really good. Thank you,” I tried to strike up a conversation, I knew I was going to regret that later. But she seemed unfazed by the compliment. I felt torn in pieces when I saw her eyes clouded with gloom. I searched her eyes to catch all the emotions she was feeling in that moment. She was not here. “Are you okay?” I couldn’t hold back. Her expression told me that she was not expecting this question. “My brother taught me this,” she answered with a smile bearing her sadness. 

“How long am I gonna be here?” She asked. “Do you want to go back?” I asked her, though, I did not want her to answer. I knew what she was going to say. “ I just want to know,” she took a deep sigh. “You don’t like it here? Is there someone troubling you” I sounded serious and concerned. “No, people are good here” she crossed her arms. After that we did not exchange any words and stood there feeling each other’s warmth in silence. She closed her eyes to feel the breezes tickling her soft skin and I stood rooted to my spot w drinking her heart-rendering beauty. I knew I was gazing at her without blinking and I didn’t care.  

My phone rang pulling us out of our haze. The call was from Jake, finance advisor of my company. “Hello, what’s the matter?” I asked him in frustration. “There is something you need to see,” he said. “Can’t it wait for tomorrow?” I snapped at him. “The sooner the better,” he reasoned. I put the phone down and took a deep sigh. “ Hey, I have to go. Some work has come up. You should go inside” I told her calmly. I noticed her face was wearing a different expression this time. “Is it important?” she queried. Her voice was laced with disappointment. She wanted me to stay. I never felt so happy before. 

“Yes, it is,” I replied trying to keep my ecstasy under control. “Okay then..goodnight,” she started walking back to the house. I stood behind her looking at her going back to the house.