I AM THE THIEF

I am the thief -Episode 2

About a week later,another incident

happened.Shak was one of my roommates;a

Plateau indigene with tar black skin and a

goatlike voice.He was the person who wasn't

around the first day I came to the room.Out

of all the boys in the room he was the only

one I didn't get along with.He had a very

shifty feeling about his person;he walked so

silently you could never hear him

approaching and whenever he was in the

room,I always had a feeling his eyes were

on me,observing me,like a kite watching her

prey.It made me conscious of my every

move.Whenever I ate,I chewed my food

quietly,swallowed slowly,breathed

noiselessly;was Shak watching me?were his

eyes following the spoon to the plate?the

spoon to my mouth?the food going down my

throat?was he criticizing me in his mind?

laughing at my slow motion chewing,my

bobbing Adam

's apple;waiting for me to

choke.Whenever I dressed for class,I felt his

eyes probing me,waiting to see if I would

brush my teeth with the hair cream and oil

my hair with toothpaste,if I would wear my

tie around my waist and my belt around my

neck.I hated it.I hate being self conscious;it

makes me put a whole lot more effort into

simple actions,making me clumsy,making me

put more effort and pay more attention to

avoid being clumsy therefore increasing my

clumsiness.I didn't like him and I knew he

didn't like me either but as much as I was

used to people liking me,I didn't really care

if they didn't.

I had just come back from church.I

was on my bed,still in my church

clothes,reading a novel.Shak was in the room

too,the other guys had gone out.My legs were

on my pillow,my head was on the foot of the

bed,blocked out of view by the locker;even if

Shak was watching me,all he'd be seeing

were my stockinged feet.Besides,I was

reading,there was no way I could be self

conscious when my consciousness was far

gone;my mind lost,traveling with a caravan of

thieves through the medieval land the book

was set in.I couldn't be self conscious but

I could be called back down to the room by

a sudden screech of the whistle that was

Shak's voice.

"Big man,how far?"

I turned and peeped from behind the

locker,staring at him for some seconds before

I realized he was on the phone and not

talking to me.I laid my head back to

continue with my book but I couldn't go

back to the tenth century when there was a

baboon laughing and screeching on the phone

less than ten meters away from me.He was

deliberately being noisy so as to distract me

from my book.I wished he was close enough

so I could strangle him;put my fingers

around his black neck and squeeze until he

could screech no more.No matter what I did,I

couldn't block out his voice,it was in my

head.I dropped the book on my chest,closed

my eyes and imagined myself on the other

end of his call.

"How the Sunday go be na?" He asked

"If you keep on making noise,the Sunday

won't end well for you" I thought.He

laughed;loudly,like an ape.

"Let's meet at the usual spot"

"Alright,come prepared cause I'll break your

head"

"You're already there?Guy,you dey betray"

"Yeah,I came earlier to arrange the place

for your torture,you lousy moron"

"Call Tracy and tell her to meet us there"

"Aight,I'll tell her to bring a knife along

so we can cut off your tongue and put an

end to your noisemaking"

He laughed again."I don't have cash,let me

go and withdraw,I'll be there in thirty"

"May you get kidn*pped on the way".More

baboon cackling.He hung up the call,picked

something from the bed and walked out of

the room.Silence,at last!.

I rejoined my thieve friends and we

continued our journey which was once again

interrupted when Shak breezed into the

room.He went straight to his bed,he was

searching for something.Just then,the other

roommates walked in with a guy I hadn't

seen before.They all stretched their hands to

shake mine,even the new guy.

"Welcome bosses" Shak greeted them.

"Big Shak,how is it?why'd you scatter your

bed like this?" One of them asked.

"I'm looking for something" He said walking

out again.

I tried to continue reading and although the

guys were undressing as quietly as possible,I

just couldn't concentrate;their presence

alone was distraction enough.I dropped the

book and sat up on my bed.One of the guys

came to sit beside me,picking up my book.

"Big man" He said,smoothening the book's

cover.

"Boss" I answered.

"How far?"

"I dey"

"You no dey go weekend paroles? you go just

stay inside dey read book,what's up na?" He

asked,smiling.I chuckled.Shak burst into the

room again.This time with more speed and no

conversation.He went to his locker,took out a

jacket and pulled out its pockets.He stood in

front of the locker for a moment holding

the jacket.All of a sudden,he dropped the

jacket,marched to my bed and stood in front

of me.

"Guy,where is my card?" He stretched out

his hand in my face.

I had never been so confused.I would have

been less confused if the FBI entered the

room and arrested me for crimes in the first

world war.Was he joking?

"Guy,I'

m not joking,give me my card!" He

said.He was obviously not joking.

"I don't know what you're talking about" I

managed to speak.

"Wetin dey occur?" The guy sitting beside

me asked.

"This boy carry my debit card" Shak

accused,pointing at me.

"Which card?why will I carry your card?

wetin I wan use your card do?" My head

was spinning,my heart was pounding but I

felt an urge to laugh.I wanted to laugh,I

wanted to stand up,look him in the eyes and

laugh at him for being such a lying fool.Why

on earth would I take his debit card when I

didn't know his PIN?even if I did know it,I

wasn't a thief.

"Guy,give me my card abeg,I get place wey I

wan go" He continued.

"Oga calm down" The other roommate walked

to stand beside him

"what happened?"

"Me and this guy were in the room,I was

lying on my bed.I went out to use P.O.S,when

I got there I saw that I left my card on

the bed.I came back and now I can't find

my card" Shak explained.I thought his story

was stupid but that wasn't what annoyed

me,it was his gesticulation and pointing and

the fact that he kept calling me 'this guy'

when he knew my name that made me want to

hit him.

"So?how him take enter the matter?" The

guy beside me asked.

"It's only two of us that were in the

room,he was the only one in the room when I

left"

"How do you know he took it?"

"Who else would have carried it?abi ghost

go enter here come thief ATM card?"

"Did anyone else come in?" The new guy

asked me

"No,nobody" I shook my head.The room was

totally silent for a fleeting moment;I

thought I could hear Shak's

heartbeat,everyone could hear his breathing.

"Shak,calm down and let's check for it"

someone said.The group moved to Shak's

bed.I remained seated;I was shook.What was

happening?what was Shak doing? I couldn't

think of anything except that he was trying

to set me up,I couldn't think of why

though.I knew he didn't like me but trying

to paint me as a thief?to what end?or did he

really believe what he was saying?did he

actually lose his debit card?was he stupid

enough to believe I took it?Once again I

saw the position I was in;me,alone in the

room,something goes missing.Exactly what had

happened in the other room.The guys raised

the mattress,dusted the bedspread over and

over as though the card could somehow have

interwoven itself with the material.Shak's

phone began to ring.He picked it up,looked at

the caller ID and dropped it back.The phone

went off again.

"Pick your call na" one of the guys said.He

picked it up in one angry movement."Baba,I

dey come,person just thief my ATM card".He

hung up the call and flung the phone on the

opposite bed.The phone began to ring again

before it landed on the bed.He was shouting

when he answered this time."I say person

thief my card!dey go if you wan dey go,did

I not say I'll be there in thirty minutes?"

This time he switched off the phone.

"Which kind mumu talk be that?"the new guy

started "say person thief your card,how you

know say na the guy carry am?"

"I know! I know! na this boy carry am,nothing

wey you go tell me" Shak marched to the

center of the room,pointing one black finger

at me."You,I don dey observe you since,since

when you come this room,I have been

watching your moves" Obviously,I thought.

He continued "You'll be acting cool and

quiet when in your heart you have bad

intentions.Let me tell you,your innocent face

no dey deceive me,I know say you get

wayward movements.Even if nobody can see

it,me I dey see your true colours".

Since I came to the room,conversation

between myself and Shak wasn't more than

ten complete sentences;I didn't know he had

so many words for me.He still had many

words left."Even that day for Governor

room" he continued "I know say na you

carry that phone".The words were like hail.I

said nothing,I just stared at him,at his

wagging finger,at the saliva blobs flying

from his mouth.

"Guy,m you saw that everybody was looking for

it,I know you,I don dey observe you,my eye

dey your body"

As if on cue,The Governor opened the

door,Oke stood behind him,peering into the

room.

"Who dey fight?" Oke asked as they

entered,Nobody answered him.

"What's up na?" Governor sat on the bed

oposite mine.

"Oke tell your guy to give me my ATM

card" Shak said,a little less aggressive

now.Oke looked at me,confused.I didn't turn

but I knew Governor was watching me,his

cold gaze on my face.

"Guy,me,I'm not like Governor,I no be

Governor,if you think I'll just let it pass

or I'll keep quiet like Governor did,then you

don't know me" Shak's voice was loud

again.Was that what he thought?That I took

the phone from Governor's bed and then hid

it in the jacket when the search became

more intense than I expected;did he really

believe that?I wondered if everybody was

thinking the same thing.I looked up and for a

split second my eyes caught Governor's

gaze.He looked confused but somehow in a

way,his eyes were still accusing me.He

shouldn't be looking at me like that.He

should know that he was the one who kept

the phone in the jacket.They should all

remember that I didn't even move from the

door so there was no way I could have put

the phone in the jacket.Why was nobody

saying anything to defend me? Why wasn't I

saying anything to defend myself? I began to

wish that I had actually taken the card.I

would certainly not be feeling this way if I

did take the card;heck,maybe I'd even be

feeling thrilled.I'd be tense but it would be

a different kind of tension.But I was not a

thief.Shak moved to my front in one big step.

"Stand up,let me check your stuff"

I stood up without a word;if I said

anything,I would explode.Besides,he could

search all he wanted,I had nothing to hide.

"Maybe you even hid it inside this your

stupid book" He said,picking up my novel

from the bed,holding it by the front

cover,shaking it until the pages began to

fall out.I felt my heart stop.All the emotion

I had kept bottled up until that point

morphed into one big ball of anger.In that

moment,I truly hated him.I didn't even know

my mind was capable of so much hate,I had

never hated someone so deeply.Blood rushed

to my head;I was possessed.

"Give me my book!" I snatched the book

from his black,destructive hands.He tried to

take it back but I was gripping it so tight

that when he pulled the front cover,it tore

off.He stood there holding the cover in his

hand like a killer holding the severed head

of his victim.There was a knock on the door.