If You Stay Right Here

Chapter 10

Mike and I drove in comfortable silence to town. I was deep in thought, nervous about the trip that was to come and how everything was going to pan out since me and JR had not made a good impression on each other. What was worse was the fact that we were not going with the commercial planes, we had a private jet which meant me and JR were going to have to endure being in each other’s space even more.

“So where do we start” Mike said interrupting me from my thoughts.

“I was thinking I well we can just get into the mall and walk from shop to shop cause I have no clue where to even start. You don’t have to join me I mean”

“I really don’t mind, if you in turn don’t mind me tagging along” he said

“So even if I take time making decisions?”

“Trust me, I have been through worse” he said and smiled.

“Ok let the games begin” I said and we got into the mall.

It was a little awkward having Mike around as I was trying to pick clothes. I looked at the many rails and many clothes not sure of what to pick. I also felt a little pressured to hurry up cause I did not want Mike to get bored.

“What do you think of this” I heard Mike say from behind me. I turned and there he was holding up an olive green blouse and tangerine coloured pencil skirt.

“Wow that’s…err”

“Too bright?” he said before I could finish my statement

“But I will try it, seeing that that is the only outfit there is so far” I said

“Are you sure cause you can always pick another colour from that rail”

“I will try this one and another colour and if I like it I will get both”

“How many outfits do you plan on getting?”

“As many as will last me two week”

“So we going to be here a while”

“Oh sorry you can, leave me I will find my way to the hangar later”

“I am not complaining at all, was just saying” Mike said with a grin

“Ok”

I managed to find some outfits to try on and I went into the changing room to try and left Mike sitting waiting. I removed my clothes and tried on the outfit Mike had picked out first just to get it out the way, but when I was done and I looked in the mirror I almost could not recognise myself. The skirt was a perfect fit and it held my body in place comfortable. The blouse though simple was very light and added a sophisticated elegance.

“Are you ready” Mike called out.

“Well just I minute” I said checking myself out before I nervously walked out.

Mike looked up and his eyes widened as I walked towards him. He put his phone in his pocket then stood up and took a step back as he stared without a word which made me even more nervous.

“Well what do you think?” I said turning around

“Wow” he said

“What that supposed to mean?”

“Exactly that, you look err amazing to say the least”

“I hope you are not just saying that” I said

“Ok what do you think when you look at yourself in that outfit, how do you feel in it” he said walking me to a full length mirror where he stood behind me.

“What do you see?” he said

“Well I see me, looking really nice in two colours I did not think could be won together”

“is that all?” he said

“Yeah” I said looking at my reflection and then catching his eyes before I quickly looked away.

“You look absolutely amazing, I am sure the other skirts will look just as good” he said

“You think so?”

“I know so”

I walked back to the change room feeling self-conscious cause I knew Mike was staring back. I tried on another skirt and loved it the same. What started off as an awkward trying on clothes session turned into a fun fashion show with Mike acting like the fashion police. I found myself laughing so much more than I had in a long time.

We went into a few other stores and I continued trying on and buying more clothes.

You know what is missing now?” Mike said as we sat on one of the benches having ice cream

“What?” I said

“Well you have all these great outfits but you did not get the shoes to go with them”

“Oh shoot “I said putting my hand on my forehead, “That boat completely passed me”

“We still have a bit of time and shoes are much easier to buy especially when you already have the outfits”

“Shall we” I said and we stood up and made our way to the shoe shop.

I sat and tried on different shoes as we chatted and laughed with Mike.

“You two make such a beautiful couple and you my dear girl are lucky to have a man who actually takes the time and effort to come shopping with you” an old woman said looking at us

“Well we are not really err”

“If you aren’t then you should be, young people who share your kind of chemistry and actually genuinely enjoy each other’s company without these cell phones is very rare to see and refreshing too” she said.

“Young man do the right thing” she said and winked at Mike as she walked away. Mike looked at me and I smiled back at him shyly.

“Well lets get back to it” I said

“yeap” he said as he passed me a pair of shoes which I then wore.

We were done with the shopping and we were walking to the car with the many bags, laughing and chatting as we did.

“Mike” a voice said from behind us. 

We both stopped and looked back and there she was this beautiful woman with flowing golden curls and ivory skin; her eyes were a piercing brown and her lips were a perfect fit to her face. She was tall and walked with an evident inner confidence she was stunning and as she glided towards us her beauty radiated and she looked irresistible.

Mike cleared his throat as she got nearer, he looked uncomfortable at the sight of her.

“I thought that was you” she said wrapping her arms around his neck as she pulled him to a hug.

“Err, yeah I did not see you” Mike stammered as he shifted uncomfortably

“And you are” she said looking me up and down disapprovingly.

“Oh I am”

“This is Jaydeen, she is a friend of mine” Mike interrupted

“Oh, I thought maybe you know, cause I know your type and you know” she said and chuckled.

I was offended. Mike looked down.

“You did quite a lot of shopping there I see” she said nonchalantly.

“Yeah” Mike replied 

“I am Pearl by the way” she said and extended her hand to me.

“Nice to meet you Pearl” I said

“I hope you are not giving this poor girl hope because…” Mike then pulled her to the side

“Not here not now” I heard him say from under his breath as they walked away from me.

“I just have to make sure” I heard her say

“ I will see you at the house this Sunday then” she said as she walked away.

Mike looked at her as she walked away. He breathed deeply and looked up before he walked back to where I was. 

“ Err sorry about that, she is just a “

“No need to explain yourself to me” I said a little snappy.

“I am sorry”

“For what exactly? For your friend thinking I am not your type”

“It’s not like that and well its complicated”

“Yeah whatever, can we go,” I said 

“Yeah sure” he said and we walked to the car.

We drove in tense silence to the nail bar where my mother was as I wanted to tell her I was living. Mike tried a couple of times to strike up a conversation with me but on all occasions, I just gave him one word answers or shut him down.

“I will find my way to the hangar” I then said

“Jaydeen come on, I said I will drop you let me at least do that. In any case you will need help packing all these clothes and shoes” he said

“I have two hands and feet don’t I?”

“Please let me” he said putting his hand on mine. I felt their warmth and softness and when my hurt eyes looked into his I loosened up and softened.

“I am acting like a jealous b***h ain't I?” I said feeling bad

“Not at all, I mean Pearl—”

“Let’s not talk about her please”

“Deal” he said.

We walked into the nail bar where my mum was supposed to be. She had gone to the hair salon next door and was head deep in the dryer.

“Do you have decent clothes to wear though I mean I can’t have you going all the way to Paris in those awful clothes of yours” my mother mourned.

“Don’t worry mum I did a bit of shopping so I think I am good”

“But are the clothes you chose any good? Not to offend you or anything but your dress sense is just awful, I wish Jayda was here to teach you the ropes, oh Jayda, where are you?” I felt stung by my mother’s words.

“You know what mum, Jayda isn’t here and awful as you say my taste is, I actually like the clothes I picked and I if they are not good enough for you it’s fine, you are not the one who is going to wear them I am”

“But it’s the family’s reputation that will be in jeopardy, it’s not like you are going to the local school, you are going all the way to France at least let me help you just one decent outfit”

“Sorry mum for ruining your reputation, I will try to do better next time” I snapped.

“There you go, throwing your little toys just cause you don’t want to hear the truth.”

“What truth mum? That I am never going to be good enough to fit into your world? That I will never be like Jayda or be Jayda or what? Why can’t I just be good enough for you and everyone around, why? Why can’t you just accept me the way that I am without you trying to impose your expectations on me?”

“Jayda calm down you are causing a scene”

“Well I am sorry mum and it’s not Jayda its Jaydeen” I said and stormed out. I stood by the door trying to gain back my composure but I was so mad, my eyes were watering and I felt alone yet again like I had felt in the past few years.

Mike who was by the car packing the clothes and shoes looked up and saw how upset I was. He walked to me “Hey, is everything ok?” he said

“No and please just leave me alone” I said as I walked to the car and got in.

Mike gently opened the other door and sat silently next to me as tears rolled down my face.

“Why can’t I be good enough Mike? Why does it feel like being me is the worst thing right now why” I said.

“Come here” Mike said pulling me towards his chest.

“Its going to be ok, and for the record you don’t have to be good enough for anyone but yourself”

I looked up at him and smiled because he was right.