When He Forgot Her Name

CHAPTER FOUR:THEAWAKENING

Maya woke up to the sunshine shining in through strange windows and the smell of coffee in the kitchen.

For some time she was confused…. Not her own dingy little studio apartment and its broken blinds and the greasy smell of the restaurant below.

Then she thought of it. Jackson. The deal. The night when they had talked together until morning, exchanged stories and confessions, she never told anyone.

They had not slept together. Not as she had expected. Instead, they had drifted asleep on the couch where Maya had her head on Jackson's shoulder with his arms wrapped around Maya as though she was something precious.

It was not s*x but more intimate than s*x.

Maya arrived in the kitchen to find Jackson standing with his back to the counter, wearing nothing but a pair of pajama bottoms, and a concentration that caused her belly to jump. He had disarranged sleepy hair, and she saw the outlines of muscles beneath his skin in their movement.

It was an early start, she said, and he turned with a smile that made her heart go bump.

I did not get any sleep. Thinking too much, he waved at the breakfast spread he had prepared. I might have been excessive.

Maya looked over the counter…. Well-grown eggs, crispy bacon, fresh fruits, triangular shaped toast.

Did you sleep at all?

"A little. I always woke up to ensure that you were not a dream."

So weak, so exposed a confession was it, that Maya could not help feel the walls she had built to protect herself breached a bit.

"I'm real."

"I know. It is only…. Jackson massaged his hair with his hand and looked unsure. I never woke up with someone.

I mean, I have hooked up, but it was always transactional. Scheduled. My mother would set us up on study dates with suitable young ladies."

Your mother fixed your hookups?

She had everything organized. My friends, activities, my love interests. She explained that families lose their status in society when they leave things to chance. Maya got nearer as she was attracted by the pain in his voice.

How did you make it through that?

"I didn't. I... simply lived. Made a pretense. Acted the role of an ideal son. The laughter of Jackson was bitter. Until the time I saw you dancing and me knowing that I had never seen something real in my whole life."

"Jackson…." I understand that this is temporary. I am well aware that you will be away in three and a half weeks. But I am more alive than I ever was at this moment. Maya put her hand on him, and felt his steady heart throbbing. So am I.

They had their breakfast in cheerfully quiet conversation, looking furtive glances at one another like adolescents with their first crush.

Maya was studying the face of Jackson and remembering how he appeared when he was free of posturing his face, when he was not performing in front of anyone.

Finally, she said, "I must go to work." The expression of Jackson darkened.

"The club?"

No, I work in a diner in the city as a waitress. It serves me as my day job. You need not do that anymore.

The money I am now giving you… I am not your kept woman, Jackson. I also have a life. He interrupted himself, saying, "I did not mean that..." "I'm sorry. I am not good at this. In allowing individuals to run their own lives. “It’s okay. You're learning

Instead, come with me today. Maya grew an eyebrow.

"Where?"

I am not sure. Anywhere. I am having meetings, and I can cancel those. We might only drive. We shall see how far we get.

The temptation was great. Tempting as it ought to have been. Maya had bills to pay, she had responsibilities, a life to lead beyond this beautiful bubble Jackson had created.

I cannot. Mrs. Lena is counting on me.

"Mrs. Lena?"

The diner lady. She has been more of a grandmother to me. I cannot just vanish.

Jackson nodded, but his eyes told her he felt disappointed.

Tonight then? I will come to get you in the evening after work.

I will be working at the club tonight. Well, in that case I will come. Front row. It made Maya cold with uneasiness. Jackson, you cannot keep on coming to the club. It will attract attention to your parents…. My parents believe that I am going to attend a business meeting in Chicago.

They will never know. Others will, however. The type of individual who earns their livelihood by selling information to the highest bidder. Jackson gritted his jaws.

You do not get it. Your interest, the honor of your family The reputation of my family rests on deception and manipulation. It is time to tell some truth, perhaps. Maya arose, and stood because she needed space.

This is not about truth. This is rebellion. You are taking advantage of me, to spite your parents.

"That's not…."

"Isn't it?" Maya looked up at him, with a broken heart as she talked. You have never made a decision in your life, so you choose the worst possible woman you can get. The stripper. The person they will be most shocked to meet. Jackson rose, and his eyes gritted with anger.

You suppose that is what this is?

I believe you are a rich boy in a shell who is mixing love and lust with freedom and rebellion.

And, I believe, you are scared. The words smack Maya.

What am I afraid of?

Of this. Of being touched with something real. Of the chance that maybe, just maybe, somebody could see past your walls and get to know the real you."

There was a catch of Maya breath. You have never understood who I am.

"Don't I?"

Jackson pressed forward, and lowered his voice to a whisper. Nothing good is simple.

Maya drew back, with a pounding heart. I must go. I am late to work.

"Maya"

Have a nice evening. I will see you tonight. In the club. She was reaching for her purse and about to go to the door when she was arrested by the voice of Jackson.

"I think," he said quietly, "You are worth falling in love with, for what it is worth." Maya felt that she could not trust herself to answer.

She walked out of the apartment and the words of Jackson loudly reverberated in her head because she knew that everything had changed.

She was falling.