Ever Your Affectionate

Chapter 5

Hello, my dear Booke!

You are my only friend! Did I say that before? I have lived here at Rosemont for many years, but we are rather isolated, and I do not know any of the girls in the village. Marianne and Louisa know a few of them, because Lady Durand sometimes calls on people and takes them with her, but she does not take me, of course. I don’t mind. Master Howard says all the girls in the village are dull and boring, and while I think Master Howard has many flaws, he is brutally honest and often quite correct when it comes to dull and boring people.

It is strange that I am prevented from being with you only by the absence of pen and ink. I still have the pen from Marianne, but Louisa suggested that I had stolen a pot of ink, and Master Howard said he would search my room. I was frightened, as I did not want him to find you.

I admit I also had items in my room that…yes, I stole them. To clear my conscience, here they are:

There are other things as well, but those are the ones that I worry will get me into the kind of trouble that cannot be fixed. There are two kinds of trouble—the kind that can be fixed, and the kind that cannot be fixed—and I know them both well.

I also have a knack for finding lost items. I think of a lost item as a piece of a puzzle. And when I hold the missing piece of a puzzle, it feels as if I am the answer to the question.

What question? Well, I don’t know, of course! But I enjoy the feeling that I am what others need, even when they do not realize it.

So long as I can find a pen and ink, I can tell you these things. Incidentally, I did not steal the pot of ink—I only borrowed it, and I put it back when I was done. It lives on the writing table in the library, and no one goes in there anyway.

I do not believe Louisa has picked up a pen in years. Marianne wouldn’t care if I had indeed stolen a pot of ink, as she is fond of drawing and has many pots of ink. Master Howard is the one I fear most. If Louisa has put it into his head that I am a thief, he may start to watch me more closely, and then he will see that I really am a thief.

But I know you would never betray me! I will always be your protector as well.

I am always yours truly, ever your most darling, affectionate Lydia