My dearest,
If I am dragged away to prison, let this be a record of all that that has transpired. Dear Lord, I never thought that in my effort to do right by Catherine, I would find myself in such a terrible situation.
I swear that I did not mean to do it. I swear on all that is good and true, I did not mean to do it, and I regret it. I am sorry and shall repent forevermore…
I have stared at the above words for a long time, and in the end, I cannot lie to you. I thought I might write words that would absolve me of my crime and that anyone who finds this book might read it and know that I am not a bad person, or an evil person, or insane.
But perhaps I really am a bad person, because in truth I do not feel the least bit of regret for what I have done.
Yesterday, Mr. Dryden sent me a no
