Pleasured By His Father (LGBT/18+)

Chapter 2

Talking to Gideon, I feel like the burden in my chest is being lifted, just a little, but helpful anyway, and makes me smile, a true smile that reaches my ears. Gideon gives me as sad smile. I told him about Jared being gay at all. He was shocked, like I guess, but it came to sympathy... not for him but for me. He knows I hate gays very much but doesn't know why I hate them. I've never told anyone about my past, including my late wife, Redina. I know I should have trusted here with all my heart, but I couldn't—still can't—find a courage to tell her, or them, and deal with it. I'm afraid that I would do something wrong, or something that might harm my loved ones. Waiting for the client, I take a sip to my black coffee and just sigh. Gideon doesn't speak, so I assume he's waiting for the client too. I glance at the clock, it's still 11:32 in the morning. Every minute, I would glance at the clock, or at my watch, tapping my foot impatiently. The client is supposed to meet us 11:30am here. Then door's bell rings, and I dare to look at it. The girl is standing, looking to her left and right; her brown hair swinging as she whips her head left and right. I assume she's the client. My new client. I wave my hand at her and she gives me a smile and walks towards here, at our table. Gideon eyes the girl and smiles at her.

"Mr. Lerman?" She asks nervously. I nod and gesture to the chair, signaling her to take a seat as I sip my black coffee. "Thank you. I just need help, is all." Her sweet yet still nervous voice ringing in my ears, like a beautiful sound, like Redina's.

Placing my elbows on the table, putting my chin on the back of my hands that are clasped together, I say, "I'm here to help you; just tell me what's the problem, okay? I'll just listen here." I say calmly. She seems to relax and her tense figure seems to dissolve. For a moment, we, three, remain quiet as I wait for her story. She's nervous again, biting her fingernails. I've seen many persons do that whilst I was talking to them. I don't know if it helped them telling the things confidently. I just can't point out the logic of that.

"Come on, Mrs. Shin. Tell us so we could help you," says Gideon confidently, looking at her with those brown irises. The girl looks at him, gives him a nervous smile, gulps then opens her mouth. But closes it again.

Then she begins to tense again. "My..." Then the tears begin to spill down on her rosy cheeks. She shuts her eyes, I assume, telling her self that she needs to do this. "My son has been killed." I think my eyes go wide. Yep, it did. My shock expression turns into sympathy and I just give her, I try my best, a smile that says 'I'm sorry for your loss'. I don't trust my voice right now, so I just seal my lips tightly. We wait for a minute whilst she continues to cry. I think, at some point, I know what's the feeling is like. The pain; the loss. Yes, I have felt the pain and the loss, but this girl feels different. Her son has been killed. Redina died because of a car accident.

Remembering Redina on a bed, lying lifeless as she continued to breathe, I felt like my own world was destroying. The sight of Redina, bruised, very fragile, very vulnerable, was destroying every part of me. Then she was gone forever. I've cried for what seemed like eternity, Jared was hugging me, comforting, telling me that Redina, his mom, would guide and watch us. I always knew that he was broken too, but I was busy with myself that I've forgotten Jared. I couldn't move; felt like I couldn't breathe, like I was lost for oxygen. Next thing, she was inside the coffin, lying lifeless as she was in the hospital, but looking beautiful than before. I just sat there, waiting for my turn to die. But God didn't—doesn't—want to take my life away, I have realized, because I still had—have—things to take care of. Jared. Jared, on her mom's burial, cried like hell. He was leaning on me, supporting himself, and cried and cried and cried until he couldn't anymore. The people, my friends, relatives, families, were there, giving us sympathy looks. They wanted to help us but didn't know how or what to do. When we got home, it felt like we were just lifeless, without a soul, wandering around the house. The house felt different, no life at all. The colors were turned into gray. I've tried to bring the colors back, the happy aura, but I couldn't, more likely, I wouldn't, because how many times have I tried to bring it back like it used to be before, everything was different without Redina. Without her, my life became a tragic hell. Only Jared could bring me up and help me. But now, he's gone too. And my whole world, the gray, turned into black. Misery. Pain. Sorrow. I'm breaking. Slowly. Torturing me. Jared. Redina. I'm all alone, with no one to be beside him, excluding Gideon. But he's different. He is, somehow, part of my family, but my real family is broken as like the shattered glass. I just want to feel happy again. Just for a moment. Is that too much to ask? Is this how life supposed to work? I ask myself bitterly. Yeah right. God, I assume, is punishing me. I don't know what I've done wrong. Maybe pushing my son away. Yeah, that's it. I just want to feel alive again; to feel happiness; to feel the world as I used to feel before.

"He was killed..." Mrs. Shin cries, tears still spilling down her cheeks. "School bullies. They lied about the incident. They keep denying what they have done. But I have proofs. A video. Someone, in their school, gave it to me. She said she was afraid to stop them, or to call for someone, so she took a video and gave it to me. My son, whose life was so precious, died because of their narrow-minded brains. Just because my son was gay, they wanted to kill him!"

Then I stare at him in horror. Gideon, whose posture is still straight, goes down and stares at her like Mrs. Shin has killed her own son. Son. Gay. Killed. He was killed because he was gay? I look at Gideon, and he nods at me. I stand up and get out of Starbucks. What if Jared... No. That's not going to happen. f*****g people. f**k myself. Narrow-minded people. That's what I am becoming. That's who I am. I'm just a narrow-minded human who hate gays so much that I even threw and disowned my own son just because he's gay.

I can tell that the people inside Starbucks are still listening; still watching them as if they are being entertained. I shake my head and clear my thoughts. My mind feels like it's going to blow in any minute. It feels like my heart would be ripped out of my chest as it continues on beating rapidly. I take a deep breath and head inside again. When I get there, Mrs. Shin is wiping her tears with a tissue, Gideon's hand running up and down on her back. He looks at me, questioning me if everything is okay. I nod then gulp.

Clearing my voice, I say, "We can charge the one who killed your son a murder." Giving her a hopeful smile, I sigh. "As long as you have the proof. We will be stronger if the girl who gave you the video would stand up and be a witness. When you talk to her, tell her that we could give her a protection."

"Okay..." Mrs. Shin says, getting teary all over again. "Thank you, Mr. Lerman and Mr. Hust. I think the words thank you are not enough." Gideo and I just shake our head and give her a reassuring smile; although mine is fake.

When we're done, Gideo and I say see you soon to each other and I head to grocery store, only to buy a beer that would help me forget everything just for a day. Just for a day.